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The Vampire Diaries -- I Can See Why Ian Somerhalder And Nina Dobrev Kept Their Relationship A Secret

Updated on April 17, 2012

When Fans Confuse Real Life With A TV Show

For a long while, Vampire Diaries' actors Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev wouldn't confirm that they were romantically involved. When they were too many pictures caught of them in romantic moments, they finally came out of the closet so to speak, and admitted they were romantically involved. Considering how fans of the Damon and Elena and Stefan and Elena pairings have acted when the actors were caught in photos enjoying Coachella this past weekend, you can really see why they tried to keep their real-life relationship under wraps.

Before Somerhalder and Dobrev admitted they were involved, fans of the Damon and Elena pairing were waiting with bated breath to find proof that they were involved with each other in real life. It's like if the actors who played the roles of the couple they were shipping were involved with each other in real-life it somehow made their couple more valid than the Stefan and Elena pairing. Since the real-life pairing has been confirmed, a lot of times it seems like the DE fan base is confusing the actors' real-life relationship with the roles they play on The Vampire Diaries.

Online Vampire Diaries fans have even given the real-life couple one of those shipper names shippers come up with couples they ship. They call them Nian and many have declared that they ship them as a couple. They seem to go crazy whenever there's a picture of them together in public. But isn't it crossing a line shipping a real-life couple? These are real people; not some fictional characters. Don't they have a right to their privacy to conduct their relationship in private without a group of fans acting like they're no different than a couple on TV. I mean, these are real people, who may or may not last. They could have found true love or it could end up being a showmance based more on convenience than anything else. After the show is over it's always possible they'll break-up and move on to other people.

The media, however, aren't helping this frenzy, as they're also playing up the relationship because the characters the actors play on The Vampire Diaries are involved in a contentious triangle. One even claimed, further blurring fantasy with reality, that one of the shots taken of the actors this weekend at Coachella could easily be of Damon and Elena on The Vampire Diaries opposed to being the real-life couple just enjoying themselves together.

Then there's the other side of the coin: the Stefan and Elena fans. For as happy and elated the DE fans are that Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev are romantically involved off the show; there are some very bitter and resentful Stefan and Elena fans who are just the opposite. Some Stefan/SE fans have been nasty towards Nina Dobrev, almost as if they feel she's betrayed them by having a real relationship with the man who plays the character that is a threat to the couple they ship. And that's nothing to what they say about Ian Somerhalder.

The actor is only 33 and looks young for his age, but they're saying he's forty and that he looks years older than his actual age. Since there's a 10 year age difference they're also proclaiming he's a pedophile for being involved with his co-star. And because he was on vacation with his co-star/girlfriend while their idol Paul Wesley was at a Vampire Diaries convention that's another mark against him, showing he has no true commitment to the show.

There are also the fans bitterly complaining that the reason the show has done something on the Damon and Elena front is because the stars demanded a storyline together because they're involved off-screen. But these same people seem to be forgetting that from the start of the show Damon/Elena/Stefan were promoted as a triangle and that was long before Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev became romantically involved. Even the media is trying to suggest that because of their real-life relationship it might affect the writing on the show. What the actors do in their private lives has no bearing on what happens on the show. It's two separate things.

Of course, there are those SE fans that live in the hope that Cupid's magic arrow will strike between Paul Wesley and Nina Dobrev and they'll become a real-life couple. Never mind that Paul Wesley is already married to someone. So, I guess some are hoping his marriage breaks up so they can have their dream couple in real-life. I've seen a few suggesting that when the three actors did a steamy cover shoot that Wesley's wife, Torrey DeVito was there because she's jealous and Paul and Nina.

Then there's something new in that some SE fans are shipping Paul Wesley and his real-life wife, Torrey. I think they've even come up with a couple name for them and saying how they're just the cutest couple. I'm sure we can all see where this going. Pretty soon the DEs and SEs will be fighting over which real-life couple is the cutest and bestest.

I remember years ago when Rena Sofer and Wally Kurth, who are married in real-life, played Ned and Lois Ashton on General Hospital. Some fans were incensed when they had a baby in real-life and Sofer didn't want any pictures of her baby made public. The fans thought because they were fans of them they had a right to see a picture of her baby when she wanted her baby kept away from the media. It's kind of like when I told a co-worker I was planning on going to school and she wondered if my boss said it was okay for me to do it. I didn't say anything, but I wondered why the heck I would need to get permission from my boss when it was something I was doing on my own time with my own money. It was like my co-worker thought my boss owned me or something simply because I worked for her. And sometimes I think fans think the same way. They think if they're a fan of an actor they own them and have some right to know all about their personal life.

I've always felt all an actor I like owes me is a good performance. After that, it's up to the actor what else they give you. They're human being just like you and me and they have as much right to their own personal life as I do. Having a relationship is not an easy thing, but it makes it nearly impossible when you've got a third intrusive eye trying to become a part of that relationship.

For the most part, Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev have managed to keep much of their relationship private even though they've confirmed they're having a relationship. But seeing the way the media and fans are trying to intrude on their relationship I can see why they kept it a secret for as long as they did.


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    • allelsematters profile image

      Lady Jen Palven 5 years ago from Philippines

      I envy Nina Dobrev because she's dating one of Hollywood's Hot actor..I Hope i can meet Ian personally..hahaha Excited for Vampire Diaries new season :)

    • profile image

      anon 5 years ago

      I think that it is sad that people feel the need to be so super focused on other peoples lives in the media or not. Whatever comes of Ian and Nina becoming an "item" is nobodys business but Ian and Ninas. Nice hub

    • profile image

      Thanh Uyen 5 years ago

      That is so true. TBH I'm a DE fan, I started to watch the show not so long ago, about 2 or 3 months, I like DE for their story line and their chemistry. Only after that I found out about Ian and Nina relationship.

      I've seen some SE fans commented sthing like "If Paul hadn't been married, Nina would have fallen for him", things like that. And i've read about some DE fans "ship" Nian. That's too much, first Paul's married and TVD is a tv show, second Ian and Nina they are not some fictional characters for us to "ship" them together. And even some people said that "Damon and Elena are together in real life why can't DE fans let SE be together in the show" that is just too much.

    • purewater26 profile image

      purewater26 6 years ago

      My good God! I think they were doing the right thing to keep their relationship as a secret. I was a fan of TVD too. And I'm wondering: Why can people not understand that what we see on the screen is not similar with the reality? What I'm trying to say is no one can't judge and determine any actresses or actors' fate and their love relationship. If Nina is happy with Ian, let it be. So, I'm happy for them. I hope the show and their career also love life will be brighter.