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The Vampire Diaries Rewatch -- The Last Day

Updated on September 10, 2011

I don't want to be a vampire; I just want to sleep with one

Okay, Elena didn't put it like that, but that's basically what she's saying. She's having a relationship with a vampire, but she doesn't want to be one. So, what the heck is she doing dating a vampire? Wouldn't the decent and smart thing be to dump the vamp and start dating a human? It also might increase the life expectancy of her family and friends if she stopped messing around with dead things she has no business of becoming one one day.

You know, Bella Swan gets a lot of criticism and much of its deserved, but the chick was more realistic about dating a vamp than Miss Elena Gilbert is. Bella knows Edward will never age and if she wants to look age appropriate to him and not some cougar skanking on a boy toy, she needs to become a vampire and pretty fast. While Miss Elena just plugs her ear to reality and keeping chugging along not even thinking what happens when she gets older and Stefan stays the same as he is now. I suppose they could move away and she could pretend she was Stefan's mother while they continue their sexual liaison.

Anyway, the show opens with Damon listening with his supersonic vampire hearing to brain trust talking about their plan for the ritual. Stefan and Elena aren't worried about the vampire sacrifice, because they think it's going to be Katherine the same way Damon does. And they think Tyler is out of town, so he's off the hook for being the werewolf sacrifice. Basically, if they don't like the vampire sacrifice and they don't know the werewolf sacrifice, then they could care less who dies for the cause. All that matters to Elena is Bonnie doesn't die. She doesn't mind if Elijah elixir doesn't work and doesn't bring her back to life as long as Bonnie doesn't die. It might also be an easy solution to her dilemma of "I'm shagging a vamp, but I never won't be become one."

Unbeknownst to our selfless duo, they are going to know the vamp and werewolf sacrifice. Tyler has been lured back to town after Klaus' witch Maadox threw his mother down a flight of stairs. Caroline runs into Tyler and while she's batting her eyes at him Maadox zaps both of them and their imprisoned in Mystic Falls favorite place to imprison people; the tomb.

Back at Casa Salvatore Damon decides to take matters into his own hands and shoves his blood down Elena's throat to insure when she dies she won't be just really dead, but most sincerely dead. Stefan comes in and it's time for a vampire dog fight. Women are cats; men are dogs. Hence dog fight. Damon impales Stefan, after Stefan asks how Damon could do this? Well, it's not like it's the first time Damon's shoved blood down her throat; last time he did it to make Stefan help him rescue Katherine. The question is is that the reason he did it this time, as well? And it isn't like Stefan didn't do the same thing to John Gilbert; at least Damon isn't threatening to kill her, this time, the way Stefan threatened to kill John if he didn't vamoose out of town. Elena orders Damon to get out of his house; that he stupidly put in her name. Elijah can't resist telling Damon she will never forgive Damon. He isn't part of the Greek chorus declaring "You love Elena" but he's a subscriber to that mantra.

Damon actually said something interesting when Stefan was asking him, "How could you?" He said Elena could promise him an eternity of misery and that she'd eventually get over. Since that's what Damon vowed when Stefan waved blood under his nose to get him to complete the vampire transformation. So I guess that means Damon forgave Stefan for that a long time ago. Of course, Damon has so much other crap to be mad at Stefan for, I'm sure that kept the fires of anger burning inside of him.

Call me cold, about as cold as Stefan and Elena not caring who gets sacrificed if it's someone they don't like or don't know, but shoving blood down Elena's throat doesn't make her become a vampire. She has to drink human blood to complete the transformation, and if she's so dead set against it, they don't drink. Just die, since she's so anxious to do that.

Damon heads out to share a drink with Alaric and laments over Elena never forgiving him. That's when the other Smith brother [You don't suppose Elijah and Klaus have something to do with Smith Brothers' cough drops, do you?] gets in his face. Damon asks if Klaus would consider delaying the sacrifice for a month; that way his blood will be out of Elena's system and she can rely on Elijah's elixir that may not work to save her life or not save it. Klaus pretty much laughs in his face over that suggestion, then warns Damon to do nothing to mess with his ritual and brags about having all his ingredients. Of course, Damon had no thought of messing with his ritual until Klaus put the idea in his head. Now it's game on.

Damon gets Ric to invite him into his apartment so he can have a friendly little chat with Miss Kat Scratch Fever. Well, friendly, if you don't mind being shoved up against a wall with Damon pressing his body close to yours. Damon wants to know where Klaus is keeping his werewolf, so he can kill him. Katherine refuses, saying if Damon does anything to mess up Klaus' ritual, he'll kill Damon and anyone he's ever talked to. Damon thinks she'd be anxious to help, since it'll be buying her another month of her pathetic life. That's when Katherine tells him who the vampire sacrifice is going to be. Damon gets very upset learning its Caroline. He changes his plans to a rescue mission. Katherine finally tells Damon that Elena has vamp blood in her, which means she'll be competing for Stefan with Elena for all eternity. She finally coughs up the info.

Meanwhile Stefan and Elena go all Edward and Bella and take a walk in the woods where Elena can tell Stefan how she's feeling. Again, these two nitwits act like she's going to become a vampire when Klaus bleeds her dry. And, again, I say, if she doesn't want to become a vampire, then don't drink the blood. That's what makes you a vampire.

Anyway, Elena finally admits she wants things in life Stefan can't give her. She wants to grow old and have children. She also says she's not even sure what love is. Being the perfect whipped boyfriend Stefan isn't upset by this. Then Elena proclaims Damon knows nothing about love, when Stefan says Damon did it because he loves her. Sorry, sweetie, there may be a lot Damon doesn't know about, but love isn't one of them. Damon doesn't love wisely, but too well. You and Mr. Perfect could take some lessons from Damon on how to love someone.

While our lovebirds are out sniffing flowers, Damon's out taking care of business. He arrives at the tomb and gets into another dog fight, this time with Klaus' witch Maadox. Looks like Maadox is about to whip Damon's butt, when Matt shows up and shoots him with a wooden bullet. Good thing Matt decided to ditch work and tail Damon. After snapping Maadox's neck, Damon thanks Matt by knocking him out and realizing Matt's gun is full of wooden bullets.

Damon goes into the tomb and frees Caroline, who also insists he free Tyler. Damon says he hopes he doesn't regret this. Don't worry, you will. Damon also tells her Matt's got wooden bullets in his gun. They join Matt who has woken up, but as they make tracks Tyler starts to transforms into a wolf. When Tyler is trying to bite Caroline, Damon steps in and takes on Tyler. Caroline and Matt take refuge in Tyler's little werewolf cave, while Damon heads back to town.

Since Stefan and Elena were out tiptoeing through the tulips, Ric wasn't able to tell them not to let Elena head off to the ritual. In what has to be the most stupidest thing anyone's done, when Stefan and Elena arrive back home, Klaus is waiting for him. Elena tells Stefan to close his eyes, and the dummy does, and when he opens them again, Elena and Klaus are gone. Stefan sends the 911 out to Damon, who says he'll take care of it.

I think Damon was planning on heading over to see Klaus, anyway, to make sure Katherine didn't get blamed for what he did. Which he does when he tells Klaus what he did. Too bad Katherine didn't mention she learned the art of the back-up plan from Klaus, because he reveals he's got a back-up werewolf and vampire. Damon doesn't care that it's Jules, considering she killed Rose and was a total female dog to him. But he thinks he may have just volunteered to be the vampire sacrifice, until Klaus does something to him that makes him black out.

When Damon wakes up, Katherine is trying to feed him some blood. She's also trying to justify to him something she did. Seems, since Elena neglected to mention anything about Katherine, she was able to lure Jenna out and Klaus fed her his blood and killed her. Elena suddenly cares about the vampire sacrifice when she discovers it's going to be her aunt. Meanwhile, Katherine tells Damon that Klaus said Damon was as good as dead, and wants to know what that would on his arm is. Wolf bite.

One thing that bugs me, is they made a big deal about the doppelganger blood having to be pure, but since Elena has Damon's blood in her blood, shouldn't that make the blood impure. Klaus' reason for not using Damon as the vamp sacrifice was because his blood was impure because he got bitten by a werewolf.


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