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The Vampire Diaries -- The Murder Of One

Updated on March 31, 2012

I was actually looking forward to this episode, while at the same time dreading it. Unfortunately, mediocre and sometimes just plain bad writing ruined what might have been a good episode. Julie Plec is quite simply a hack and a not very talented one at that. Her favorite style of writing is wash, rinse and repeat. I'm not some of the so-called journalists I see kissing her butt and telling her what a great writer she is so she'll give them scoops. I'm a nobody who feels she violates every rule of good writing.

Take this godawful triangle she keeps shoving down everyone's throat. I commented on Twitter she's writing it like a tennis match. One week DE; the next SE; then DE; then SE. And i've started seeing others commenting the same. Oh, that must mean next week is DE since this week is SE. That is no way to write a triangle. It's like Plec thinks this triangle is the presidential election and she has to give each shipper group equal time so they don't get their feathers ruffled. Plec could write a book on how not to write a triangle because everything she's written is what you don't write in a successful and believable triangle. It's become mechanical and forced and torture to have to watch it.

Anyway, the episode begins with, no big surprise since Plec is obsessed with the character of Elena, Elena coming to visit her serial-killer ex-roomie with some of that magical herbal mix, when Damon comes to the door and we the viewers must endure another painful DE scene. You know, if these two never shared a scene together again, I'd be thrilled.

While I was hoping this scene would be mercifully short and she'd just go away, I was left to wonder exactly why Princess was supposed to be mad at Damon? Isn't she the one who had his neck broken and told him to get over it? Shouldn't Damon be the one mad? Why heavens no, not in Plecsters Twisted Universe of Illogical Thinking. Apparently the doppelbitch is still upset because Damon got Stefan to do what a vampire does and drink blood. I got some advice for the doppelbitch. If she wants to play around with vampires, how about accepting what vampires are, instead of believing they're some rosy cartoon version this ninny has dreamed up in her head.

After she leaves, it's revealed that Damon, Stefan and Alaric are making stakes out of the Wickery Bridge sign. Stefan's being his usual bitch self by putting down how Damon isn't making the stakes sharp enough. Like he's an expert or something. Damon just takes his crap like a dog that's used to being kicked. You know what, Steffy, when you actually go out and find a weapon to kill The Originals, then you can put people down. Until then, shut your mouth, dick.

The other dick, Alaric, who is Damon's pseudo faux BFF makes noises about how he's going to turn himself in. He's just making noises to make himself feel better, as it doesn't take much to make him change his mind when Damon tells him since he's taking his herbal treatments it's okay that he killed several people. Damon even gets him to put the ring back on.

Meanwhile, Klaus and Rebekah are hunting down Finn. Klaus has a plan to undo Esther's binding spell. He doesn't want to cooperate so they make him come back to MF. In Klaus' house, Sage is waiting for them. She and Finn have a happy reunion, but since Sage is such a sucky character and Finn is such a blah character, I was kind of, "Who cares?" As frightening as long-haired pirate Finn was, he was hot, and short-haired "Yes, Mommy, I wanna die" was not. Anyway, since Finn is reunited with Sage he gives Klaus a vial of his blood and so does, Rebekah, who isn't finished with Damon by a long shot.

Before we get to the next part of our program, let's have some flashbacks

2.20 -- Damon saves Bitcholine and Tyler from being Klaus' sacrifice, then Damon takes a bite for Bitcholine.

2.22 -- Bitcholine whining that Damon dying is ruining her enjoyment of watching Gone With The Wind

3.14 -- Kol breaking Matt's hand and about to kill him when Damon saves his life.

Stefan and Damon convene a meeting in the woods to show Matt, Elena and Vampire Barbie the stakes they now have. Matt acts like he smells something bad upon seeing Damon, the guy that saved his pathetic life, while Vampire Bitch Barbie says anyone who sleeps with Damon would have to be desperate [she should know since she was begging for it in season one] while Graveyard Girl finds that oh-so funny. And when Damon's life is in danger not one of them lift a finger to help save his life. If only he would have treated them similarly.

Okay, we need to take another time out. This cracked my ass up. Stefan was wondering why Bonnie didn't show up after he texted her. And I'm like, "Dude, are you serious?" The last time she saw Stefan he was about to kill her to save his precious Elena. Yet he thinks if he texts her to come and meet him in the middle of the woods she's going to come? I guess Stefan is so used to getting a free pass for everything he does, he doesn't think Bonnie wouldn't want to meet the dude who was about to kill her until Damon killed and vampirized her mother the last time she saw him. Then the little blonde airhead pipes up that Bonnie is messed up because her mother bailed on her again, just reinforcing why I can't stand this character. Yeah, it messed Bonnie up her mother leaving, but it didn't mess her up being almost murdered by Stefan and having Damon kill her mother and turn her into a vampire. What a moron.

Anyway, they go through ways to kill an Original. There's a Matt/Elena moment when they get Matt to play Klaus and Elena points the cross-bow at Matt. It's a good thing Selfish Stefan didn't cotton on to that, because he would have added Matt to the list of conditions Elena must meet for him to take her back. One of them seems to be she can have feelings for no other but him. Wonder if that goes for Jeremy, as well, because, dude, on the Jeremy score, you got nothing to worry about.

Back at Casa Salvatore Rebekah sends Alaric flying down the stairs. Can we hope he's dead? Guess it's good Damon had him put on his magic resurrecto ring. Then Rebekah stabs and nabs Damon. When Alaric wakes up, does he even think to go look for Damon? Nah, he hasn't given a crap if Damon lives or dies for some time now, which is why this so-called Damon/Alaric friendship now reeks and the less seen of it on the show the better.

Instead he hangs around Casa Salvatore to have the lamest scene of the night. Remember when Plec threw out vampire mythology to give Vapid Vampire Barbie the scene where she beats of Damon for trying to kill her daddy and she was able to do it because she was mad? Well, see, Damon didn't have the Elena seal of approval but Alaric does, so basically VVB is all fine with it, too. As this season has gone on VVB has become more and more irritating and is the most unrealistic character on this show, and that's saying something.

Anyway, Elena learns Rebekah has snatched Damon and wants Stefan to go rescue him. But, see, Stefan's just not into that, and uses the excuse Damon wouldn't want them to and to continue on with the plan. That held true for 3.09 when Stefan ruined Damon's plan to save Damon, but that was before Damon kissed Elena. Since then he's broken Damon's neck, he's ridiculed him for having feelings and now he won't lift a finger to save Damon when his life is in danger. It's a pity Rebekah didn't carry through with her threat to compel Damon to kill Stefan, then the pissy little bitch would be getting a taste of his own medicine as we speak.

Anyway, since Elena is Stefan's lap dog and anything master says is fine with her, she goes along with not lifting a finger to help Damon. And this is why this show trying to sell she gives a crap about Damon is beyond ridiculous. If Stefan told her to let Damon die, she would let Damon die without a second thought, which is what pretty much happened this episode.

Anyway, they zero in on Finn. Sage beats the tar and nicotine out of little Steffy when he attempts to stake Finn, but Elena and Matt pull a sneak attack and Matt successfully stakes Finn as he and E quickly run and hide. Let's just say this is one bonfire little Miss Sage isn't enjoying watching.

Afterwards they head back to Casa Salvatore minus Matt and Stefan is finally reluctantly thinking about seeing if Damon is alive or dead when Sage shows up and does the only good thing she did in her brief run on the show, she backhands VVB. She's about to beat the crap out of Stefan when she suddenly gets a nosebleed and dies right before Steffy's little eyes. It gives Stefan yet another excuse not to go rescue his brother without supposedly looking like the spiteful little dick that he is, as he and VVB and Princess E sit around trying to figure out why Sage got a nosebleed like she was on season five of Lost and she was time flashing with the island. VVB suggests in another of her eye rolling airhead moments of the night that maybe Sage died because she was sad. They eventually realize that if the Original that sired you dies, then you die. At which point I wonder how long it'll be before Plec rewrites this?

Do you think I've being overly critical and just plain mean? Remember the Curse of the Sun and Moon that Plec later claimed was just made up? How about the older the vampire the stronger being thrown out if you're mad? Or if you think strong thoughts a vampire can't compel you? Like I said, how long before she unwrites this?

Meanwhile, Klaus has nabbed Bonnie. He's going to make her undo the binding spell. When she doesn't want to, he uses Jeremy to threaten her and she cooperates. It's a good thing he did, or when Finn went up in flames, Klaus might have bitten the dust, too, or probably not. Before leaving Bonnie sees Damon, but does nothing to help him. She does, however, call Princess E who informs Stefan and he drags his feet as much as possible as he heads out the door to rescue his brother.

Rebekah has Damon in Klaus' ballroom and she thankfully put down a tarp so Damon's blood wouldn't stain the floor. She has two bear traps digging into Damon's wrists from chains attached to the ceiling. Klaus comes in to enjoy the sight and suggests it would be easier to drain the vervain from Damon's blood if he was hanging upside down. She tells Klaus she knows what she's doing and sends him on his way, then says once the vervain is drained from his blood, she'll compel Damon to either kill Stefan or Elena. Could he like maybe kill them both? I'm a multi-tasker, so two for the price of one seems good for me. No more worst triangle in the history of TV. No more Pissy Stefan and his constant free passes and acting like his you know what doesn't stink? Sounds good to me.

Another time-out. It's not possible to bleed the vervain from a vampire's blood without bleeding them dry and replacing the old blood with new blood. Vampires can't make their own blood supply that's why they must constantly replenish it to keep their bodily functions functioning. So what the writers claimed Rebekah was trying to do is just not possible. I hate stupid writing. Back to the recap.

In probably the only real honest and emotional moment of the night Damon is shocked when he learned Rebekah actually had feelings for him and thought he cared about her. Damon being Damon makes some nasty comment but the look on his face says it all. Considering his comments to the dimwitted delinquents in the woods earlier he thought Rebekah was still Jonesing for Matt, which is why Matt was supposed to distract her while they made an attempt to kill her.

Rebekah also pulls a page from the Katherine Pierce playbook and puts a fake Elena dream in Damon's head of Princess E rescuing Damon and feeding him her blood. I was like, "Oh, thank God it was just a dream." And that Damon didn't dream it but Rebekah put it in his head. I want Damon freed from Miss Neck Breaker, but I don't know if my wish is going to be granted. If it isn't, Damon's character is going to be toast as they ruin him being stuck with her.

Anyway, Stefan finally arrives and just stands there looking at his brother chained up and bleeding to death without making a move to even try and release him. Another time-out.

Okay, I've heard nothing but praise for Paul Wesley's supposed great acting this season, but I'm sorry, I just don't see it. I haven't seen one performance from the man that's impressed me. I can't even tell when the dude is under the influence of blood lust or he's normal. I figured Stefan stopped drinking blood after he stole the coffins, until he said it was after the Wickery Bridge incident. And in 1912 when Damon was telling Stefan he was all he had, he would have gotten more emotion back from the fire poker.

If you've ever watched General Hospital you'll know what I'm talking about when I say the man seems like he graduated with top honors from the Jason Morgan School of Acting. Jason Morgan has this emotionless stare for every situation and instead of conveying emotion which is what an actor is supposed to do, you're supposed to interpret what the stare means. Anyway, Stefan just stared displaying the emotion of a piece of wood seeing his brother shackled and bleeding to death. At one point he turned away like seeing Damon ripping his flesh apart was too much for his stomach to abide. But hardly the emotion of seeing a brother you loved being tortured. And this in a nutshell is why I'm Team Damon and can't really root for the Damon/Stefan relationship. Stefan acts like a total prick to Damon when his life isn't in danger and now that he's learned Damon kissed his precious ex-girlfriend he's a prick when Damon is in danger.

Instead of going over and trying to release Damon, Stefan calls for Klaus. The question is is the real reason he finally got his carcass over to Klaus'House of Hell was to try to kill Klaus or save Damon. Stefan offers to trade Damon for 8 of the stakes. Since the vervain has been bled out of Damon Klaus is able to compel Damon to tell them how many stakes there really are. Then Stefan acts like he's going to stake Klaus but really doesn't. Followed by Klaus having a hissy fit about how Stefan should be grateful to him for giving him someone to hate. It seems Klaus still has his man crush on Stefan.

Rebekah finally has enough and releases Damon, saying she brought him here, so she says when he can be released. Of course, did she do it because she still wuvs wittle Steffy or because of feelings she has for Damon? Well, in Plecster's world no one could possibly do it for Damon when her beloved Steffy is in the room.

Meanwhile, VVB, the worst girlfriend in the world, suddenly realizes if Klaus dies so will Tyler. Yeah, she suddenly cares. This was after not even helping the dude adjust to being a vampire and dumping him because he was sired to Klaus, like it was his fault. Another eye-rolling moment from VVB in an episode that was filled with them. Plec says Caroline is her favorite character to write for. Maybe because she's as big of an airhead as Plec is, herself.

While Damon is retrieving the final stake from Ric, who is all basically, "Gee, see you're still alive. Too bad. Not that I cared if you lived or died." he proclaims his other persona Evil Dick [not of Big Brother fame] must have stole the dagger. That's not to be confused with his normal dick personality.

Meanwhile, Steffy declares his love for Little E, but when she can't look him in the eye and say she doesn't love Damon, too, it's a deal breaker for him. Let's see, she got you to break your brother's neck, pants after you like a dog in heat and didn't lift a finger to help Damon cause your pissy little nose is out of joint and you said no to rescuing him. And you're actually worried about whatever feelings she might have for Damon? Oh, puh-leeze!

Finally, back at Klaus' house, Rebekah is appalled that Klaus doesn't give a crap that Finn is dead. You know, I'm beginning to see why Klaus possessed ole Alardick's body last year at this time. Can you say two peas in a pod? Klaus intends to get the remaining stakes, and leave town with Elena, to make a whole new hybrid family for himself. Yep, he's back to this. He doesn't like his own family, so he's going to make a new one. [me rolling my eyes] Rebekah wants to know what Klaus will do to her if she wants to stay. What did he do to you last time, sweetie, when you wanted to go off with Steffy. Hint: stake and coffin for 90 years.

Then Plec uses Rebekah to spout how the Salvatores know how to be a real family. One of them does, but it sure isn't Stefan. Sorry, Plec, after having your boy not give a shit about his brother's life being in danger all hour, it's a little too late for you to start ringing that bell.

Anyway, one has to wonder why Rebekah wants to stay in town? Could it be because of a certain blue-eyed vampire? Please don't let it be because of stone cold Stefan. Come on, show. Do a real Damon and Rebekah romance and stop pushing this DE crap when you write your precious Elena as not having any real feelings for Damon, at all. It just isn't believable.

I've seen a lot of reviewers for the show puzzled why anyone wants to kill Klaus? With the exception of Stefan, everyone has a real reason that the dimwitted media seems to forget because at present Klaus is a love sick puppy drawing pictures by the fireplace.

In regards to Stefan, this whole plot of how Stefan wants to get Klaus for everything he took from him makes no sense. Klaus took nothing from Stefan. Stefan made a choice to agree to be Klaus' slave for 10 years in exchange for the cure for Damon. No one forced him to make that agreement and he only had to serve a few months of that deal before Klaus let him off the hook. It was Stefan who didn't even write Elena a Dear Jane letter to explain things, and because he didn't she put herself and the lives of others in danger trying to find and rescue him. He had the choice to go back and try to pick things up with Elena after Klaus let him go, but he chose to steal coffins to make Klaus pay for the imaginary things Klaus did to him. Stefan's big problem seems not being man enough to take responsibility for his own actions.

In regards to Stefan proclaiming it's a deal breaker if Elena has feelings for Damon, is this dude really in a position to make conditions for getting back together with her? As previously stated he didn't even have the decency to write this nitwit a letter and explaining what he agreed to to save Damon's life. And let's not forget him shoving blood down her throat and making her relive her parents' deaths. What if he discovers Elena may have lingering feelings for Matt, as well? Will that also be a problem for Little Lord Stefan? Dude needs to get over himself.

I think one thing is clear in the way Stefan didn't give a crap about Damon because he kissed his ex-girlfriend. If by some one in a trillion chance Elena were to choose Damon over him, Stefan would break all ties with Damon and would want nothing to do with him. Damon would still be a brother if Elena chose Stefan, but Stefan wouldn't be able to tolerate not being the one that got chosen.

As for the two deaths this week; can't say I gave a crap. Finn was a character that probably didn't have more than five lines during his whole run of the show. As for Sage, the character could have been great, but bad writing and the wrong actress cast in the part made the whole thing an utter mess.

In regards to the show, I think a lack on continuity is its biggest problem. A lack of remembering what was written before. I think someone needs to be in the room with Plec and give her a hard rap on the knuckles with a ruler every time she wants to turn the show into her own personal fan girl fan fiction. I'm out of a job presently. I don't normally like to boss people around, but in Plec's case I'd be willing to make an exception.


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