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The Vampire Diaries -- Why I'll Never Be Team Stefan

Updated on May 9, 2012

If Elena chooses Stefan I'll almost feel sorry for her

If only Stefan lived up to the PR this show loves to put out for him about him being so good, noble, pure and selfless. Unfortunately, they tell us one thing and show us quite the other.

We always hear what a great brother Stefan is and what a bad brother Damon is. Yes, Stefan has saved Damon's life a lot of times, but other than that he's a lousy brother. You might even say Stefan is emotionally abusive to Damon. Damon has an inferiority complex where he never feels he does anything good and one has to wonder if Stefan wasn't the one who gave it to him.

I'm hard-pressed to recall any scene where Stefan said anything positive or nice to Damon. I can name countless scenes of him putting Damon down and trying to make Damon feel like he's nothing. I thought maybe it started when Damon became a bad vampire, but as we saw in the 1912 he started it way back then and for all we know he might have even been doing it to Damon when they were human. We never saw any scenes with just Damon and Stefan together before they became vampires.

In 1864 Stefan murdered their father, but when he met up with Damon in 1912 the first words out of his mouth was to suggest Damon had murdered their relative. On what grounds? Especially when that was a crime Stefan was guilty of, not Damon. It's like he was putting his own loathsome behavior on Damon and acting like Damon had killed their father instead of him.

Since the show started Stefan has been on Damon for not feeling anything, but in 3.14 he belittled Damon for having feelings, saying they made him a liability. He belittled Damon for not having feelings and he belittled him for having feelings; Damon just can't win with him, because he'll always find a way to find something to criticize and put Damon down about. He claimed to Elena he didn't mean what he said to Elena, but you never saw a scene where he apologized to Damon and told him he didn't mean what he said to him.

Stefan acted like the only thing he wanted was his brother back and when he had him back he acted like it meant nothing to him. Damon was trying to help Stefan deal with his blood addiction and told Stefan he was all he had and he would be there for him every step of the way. And Damon probably would have gotten more emotion from a dead cold fish then he got from Stefan.

The one saving grace Stefan had as a brother [saving Damon's life when he was in danger] was thrown out the window in 3.18. Ever since he learned Elena kissed Damon back he's been like he's on the rag, so to speak. When Damon got kidnapped by Rebekah he didn't lift a finger to help him. And when he finally managed to drag himself over to Klaus' house he just stood there looking cold and emotionless at Damon who was chained up and bleeding and didn't make any motion to try and release him or save him. Instead he called for Klaus so they could have a pissing contest. The only reason Damon got released is because Rebekah released him. Left up to Stefan, Damon would probably still be hanging there being bled dry.

And in the last episode, 3.21 Stefan just got through braying to Klaus that none of Klaus' attempts to come between him and Damon has worked, but if you take Elena with you, I'll come with you. So wouldn't that be coming between them? It's kind of like in season 2 when Stefan scorned Alaric for being Damon's bitch and in the same breath wanted him to do him a favor. So basically, instead of like trying to run away with Elena to keep her safe from Klaus, he's fine with Klaus keeping her prisoner and using her as a human blood bag as long as he can have Elena all to himself without Damon around? Later in the show he even got Damon to agree that the brother that doesn't get chosen will go away. So much for his great love for Damon. He just got his brother back and now he wants to lose all him over, again.

And Stefan's just as lousy a boyfriend as he is a brother. He loves Elena so much he couldn't bother sending her a text message explaining the deal he made with Klaus. Instead she's running around chasing after him and putting everyone's lives in danger because she thinks Klaus is keeping him with him against his will. She didn't even know if he was alive or dead.

When Klaus let Stefan go and uncompelled him Stefan had the choice to go back to Elena, but he preferred to steal Klaus' coffins instead, putting everyone's lives in danger. As part of his war with Klaus, he shoved blood down Elena's throat and took her for a terrifying ride in his car making her think he was going to kill her. He even threatened to drive her off the same bridge her parents drove off of. Elena had been in the car with her parents the night of the accident so he basically made her relive a past horrifying event. When he didn't go through with his threats, he left her stranded on the spot her parents died while he took off to have a giant pity party for himself.

And in the last episode, 3.21, Elena told him and Damon the reason she hasn't made a choice between them is she's lost so many people, and she didn't want to lose one of them, too. So what does Stefan do the very next scene? Make sure her fears become a reality by getting Damon to agree that the brother that she doesn't pick will leave town and disappear from Elena's life forever. So in short, Stefan's idea of being a good boyfriend is to make sure Elena's worst fears come true. What a great boyfriend.

Don't get me wrong, I don't want Elena to choose Damon. I think she sucks the life out of Damon's character. However, I feel sorry for her if she actually picks Stefan. He's an emotionally abusive boyfriend and it's a huge pity that she can't take off the blinders she wears around him and see that.

He stalked her and slept with her without telling her she looked just like his ex-girlfriend, which caused Elena to get in a car accident. He took off with Klaus and didn't even let Elena know if he was dead or alive. He made her relive the death of her parents and made her think he was going to murder her. And after all that he didn't even try to make things up to her; she was the one chasing him and begging him to get back together with her. Yet the show has Ghost Rose declaring how Stefan's love for Elena is pure. Maybe they mean pure BS, because he's done things to Elena no one that really loves you should or would ever do to you.

As a viewer it's very frustrating watching Stefan do all these crappy things to his girlfriend and brother and being told what a great guy he is. It's why I'll never be Team Stefan or Team Salvatore. In short, they can keep pushing the Saint Stefan Kool-Aid, but I'm not drinking it.

I just wanted to get this in on the eve of Elena's big decision. And I'll say it again, if she picks Stefan, I feel sorry for her, because as a boyfriend he's the booby-prize.


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