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The Wicker Man (1973) Funnily Enough It's Not as Good as the Remake

Updated on July 16, 2020
The Remake was hilarious, while the original was dumb and boring and definitely not funny or scary.
The Remake was hilarious, while the original was dumb and boring and definitely not funny or scary. | Source

Overrated Unscary Horror Film

Now this movie is boring and not scary and a little preachy like it's saying any religion that's not Judeo-Christian is fundamentally psychotic or evil or weird which seems very much prejudiced and bigoted to me.

If you can't stand that other people don't want to worship your bearded zombie with daddy issues that you cannibalize on Sundays by drinking his blood and eating his flesh and thereby becoming a zombie yourself, then too bad go cry to your local Catholic priest maybe he'll feel you up and make you feel good and tell you it's okay afterward.

Now the movie is boring and dull and the main character is a dumb dick with a stick up his butt who is afraid of naked women and anything that's not Christian. He goes to this island looking for a little girl he meets these people who tell him they know nothing about it, they reveal the little girl was a trick and they sacrifice him instead. Which seems stupid they report a kidnapping a police officer investigates they kill him and now everyone probably knows about their weird cult and they'll either have to go to prison or drink the Kool-aid because a cop will be noticed if he doesn't show up if they wanted to sacrifice someone why don't they get a vagrant or something, but no. After all, they're stupid they have to come up with this elaborate scheme to get a police officer instead, and now they'll probably be executed or put into an insane asylum like the Christ wacko who wrote this film.

Anyway, the remake is better because it has nick cages off the walls acting to counterbalance the stupid plot and then he punches a lady in the face, steals a bike, and then makes a hilarious monologue about bees it was a comedy that was masquerading as a b horror movie. This movie is just a really dull, boring movie that is masquerading as a horror movie it's not enjoyable there's no laughs or comedy like in the remake its not so bad it's good it's just bad.

Christoper Lee acts like a madman and hams it up as silly antogonist, should've kept playing Dracula. Luckily he redeemed himself as Saruman in Lord of The Rings.
Christoper Lee acts like a madman and hams it up as silly antogonist, should've kept playing Dracula. Luckily he redeemed himself as Saruman in Lord of The Rings. | Source
Wet blanket protagonist is afraid of naked women, other cultures, singing, dancing, and an overall loser.
Wet blanket protagonist is afraid of naked women, other cultures, singing, dancing, and an overall loser. | Source

The Original vs. The Remake

I'm befuddled on how anyone can like this movie. I'm even more confused about how anyone can see the original as being all that different from the remake. The only differences I can see are worse acting, worse cinematography, slower development, and far from necessary singing and nudity. A bit like the remake, the resolution had nothing to do with the story leading up thereto.

Now, the theme is dated and fits with the B movies that are supported by the bigoted trope of Christians good, pagans bad, and the entertainment and cheap shock derived from this clash of values. This kind of "spooky cult thriller" genre, and particularly this movie, are often interpreted multiple ways: We'll see it as a silly oversimplification of polytheist/nature worship religions, plus putting a "spooky" spin thereto, and considering that the 1970s was the golden age of cults we could take it as a poke at those kinds of cults. Additionally, its visiting is nearly just about pretty much as good ole' Christian rightwing pandering.

The film promotes the thought that we reside during the middle ages and each good people believes in Jesus and folks that do not are wicked pagans that commit human sacrifice. Again, to restate this film promotes religious bigotry, especially the foremost character. Sergeant Howie was irritating, so I was happy to watch him being burned within the wicker man.

It`s not often that I discuss what people have written in their reviews but it`s not often I see a movie as stupid because the Wicker Man gets praised to the high heavens. This film revolves around the plot set-up of someone from a Scottish island sending an anonymous letter to enforcement officials hoping that the policeman who reads it'll investigate the case of a missing child and is additionally a virgin. What are the chances of that? It also ignores other logical things like isn't it fair to assume the police will investigate the contents of such an anonymous letter? It also seems to ignore standard police procedure.

Other things annoyed me. If this may be an isolated Scottish island untouched by modern society then the inhabitants are Celts, but are their pagan based ideals truly Celtic? And doesn’t England’s mainland have maypoles? If so, then surely people from the countryside can`t have anything in common with these islanders who have a unique cultural background. The philosophy seen here is more new ageism than Celtic so is there any point of setting it on a faraway Scottish island? It should be obvious that this has been happening for years. Does that mean they’ve been writing to police stations on the mainland for years and are receiving other dullards who never had sex to sacrifice?

I don’t know if it`s the fault of the producers or if they used a nasty print but everything on screen seems very cheap and badly edited because the camera jumps around from scene to scene the sound editing is also extremely poor.

The Remake

As always Cage puts on a wonderful performance that holds the movie together. I was in hysterics after he punched crazy fat ethel, and then he punched even more crazy women while wearing a silly bear costume, it was way funnier than the original film which boring as heck. How did this masterpiece go overlooked it's such an exquisite movie. It's one altogether those movies for movie buffs really, but I'm sure even the broader mainstream audience will pick on its genius. that's what this is: sheer genius.

It might be unintentionally so, but what percentage of times do I see a Bear Suit within the last act of a movie being pulled out with such nonchalant bravado? the beginning might leave you slightly confused, but the moment you catch that horrible acting delivered by the police buddy you get barely of what's to come: many laugh-out-loud moments. Many lines of dialogue are memorable unlike the original, like "Phallic symbols, phallic symbols", "The bees are in my eyes", "How'd it get burned?", "Step removed from the bike" and much of others. Highly recommended to any film fan or anybody attempting to hunt out some laughs.


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