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The humorous exploits of a install technician funny stories that have happened over the years. Yes they are all true.

Updated on June 6, 2012

Some People Can Make You Crazy

Number one on my crazy customer list.

A few years ago, I arrived at a home to install TV service. Upon arrival I showed my ID greeted my customer , and did the walk through to determine where things would go.

This customer had our competitions dish on her house. As per procedure , I asked if she was removing their service and replacing it with ours. Her answer" YES". Looking at the rooms where she wanted the equipment , I found one room could not be done , Her house is simply to close to the ground , I could not gain access to run the wiring. The option was to bring the cable in through an outside wall, or put the TV in another room that was already wired. She agreed to the other room.

This as it happens is in my neighborhood.

The Fun Begins.

I did the install,and all went well. I left feeling that I gave good customer service as I always try to do.

The next morning I was called to my bosses' office. This woman had called and said that.

  1. She told me to leave the old service in place so she could have both, And I told her no, and removed it anyway.
  2. I had told her what rooms I was installing and gave her no choice.
  3. I had punched a hole in the bedroom wall, Then re-hung one of her pictures over it , hoping she would not notice.

My boss knowing me several years, got a good laugh from it all.

He did however have to send another tech to pacify her.

She called with lies about him to.

It Wasn't Over

Three months later, I arrived at work. Picked up my work orders for the day,and guess what. You probably guessed it. I had an up-grade at the same address. I showed it to the boss, and he assigned it to another tech.

There's More.

On black-Friday , My wife and I were at the local Wal-Mart. It was 5am. I was not happy about getting up that early on my day off, but that is a whole other issue.

You can guess who was standing there in line with us. Now I hate waiting in line. My wife of 17 years knows this. So we have an understanding. I walk around while she stays in line. Believe it or not, she is ok with this arrangement.

My wife had also heard the story from me, and I had pointed out who this woman was. She is a very timid and gentle woman, but she has a short fuse with anyone who messes with her kids or husband.

As I was out walking. I guess this woman had slowly pushed her cart to the front where the xbox game systems, we were waiting to get the great deal on were sitting. She had so far sneaked three of them into her cart, and covered them with a blanket. Others were grumbling, my wife however was fed-up and told her so. As I strolled back , they were about to go at it. I was rushing to get between them, when I realised who the other woman was. So I just stopped a few feet back to watch. The woman backed down and walked away without violence.

This left me with mixed feelings, Glad my wife would not experience the hospitality of our local police station , sad the woman did not get a beat down.

Number 2

My next most memorable customer.

I showed up at a house , once again to install TV service.

The young woman who answered the door , was to say the least a large woman.

I am not trying to offend anyone , just stating facts.

She was at least 400 pounds and about 5 foot tall. She also had a dull look in her eyes as if she was a little off. I asked if she was over 18, she answered "yes".

I can not enter a home without someone over 18 present.

She showed me the rooms her father wanted TV in, and showed me the main wiring panel for the house cable. After assessing the situation, I asked if we could reach her father. I knew by this time that she would not be able to answer my questions. I also knew it would be a mistake to proceed without asking questions. The wiring her father had done looked like spaghetti.

I was afraid I would undo his work , meant for other stuff. I explained we needed to put the job on hold, and I would return after her father arrived home.

About one hour later, I received the dreaded call from the boss. This woman had called and said I was staring at her breast the whole time , and she had been afraid I would rape her.

I told my boss that with her weight, her breasts hung almost to her knees and her belly hung down even more. Again knowing me and how I feel about my marriage vows , he got a good laugh.

Later in the day , My boss talked to the father who told him, his daughter had mental issues, and made this claim about most men who came to the house. So the issue was dropped.

I did ask that another tech go back to do the job though.

I could remember a few more, but this is a hub not a novel.

Well one more very short one. I always thought people who said this happened to them were full of S#&t, until it really happened to me. I knocked on a customers door , where I was to install a security system, and a woman answered the door in a see through blouse with no bra, and just small underwear. She could not have known who the tech would be who showed up, so I guess any one would have been ok with her. I just left and called it into the supervisor on duty. I was not about to open that can of worms.

It Is Not All Bad.

I have been installing things in other peoples homes or cars for over 20 years.

Most customers are a joy to work with. I have always enjoyed my work.

One nice lady had me install a security system. She had received a recent windfall , so she bought a new house,computer, laptop computer, and outside grill. She was pleased with my work ,so she sent me home with the old computer, laptop, and grill. To this day my wife will sometimes ask " just what did you do for that woman" Then she will follow up with " and if it was that good do it for me".

I have had people tip me with.

  1. A puppy
  2. A case of Redbull.
  3. A case of bud light.
  4. A six-pack of home made beer.
  5. 10 pounds of tenderloin steak ( he worked at the local meat packing plant).
  6. three TV,s
  7. Coffee and end tables.

I drink about 3 beers a year so I gave most of those away. I don't drink Redbull at all so I set it on the table in our meeting room , and it was gone fast.

All in all it has been a great 20 years in my work life.

I hope you got a few laughs , and thank you for stopping by.


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    • bmcoll3278 profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from Longmont, Colorado

      Sunshine: Thank you very much for the kind words.

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 

      6 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Hi Brian, My SIL is a cable, alarm service tech for Brighthouse. He has told us quite a few stories about his customers. Luckily the unique ones are far and few between. His favorite customer is the comic Carrot Top. Your stories were a hoot!:)


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