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The story of my (mis)Experiments in the chemistry lab.
It would be criminal, and indeed, an unpardonable offence, if I were to forget my beautiful (all sarcasm duly intended) experiments, in the chemistry lab, which I did with the utmost confidence (to be read diffidence) and courage (to be read cowardice). The Lassaigne’s test, the king of all the tests, was forever my friend, because I never used to go into the process of doing it, and just used to copy the results from my fellow lab adventurers. Everyone seemed to be waiting to barge into the lab, every afternoon, for practical class; whilst poor me would be hesitantly putting on the beautiful white coat, which miraculuously survived all stains, and remained immaculate even at the end of graduation whilst others’ coats were really messy, to say the least. Well, what can I say, all that I can say chivalrously would be that, after all, not everyone is as meticulous as me in preserving things.
Again, everyone would be waiting to pounce on the chemicals, and show what brilliant future chemists all were, whilst poor me would be lurking in some dark corner of the lab, wishing she could disappear into the earth, so as to be saved from the humiliation of the teachers knowing that she did not even know how to light a matchstick. How ironical, then, isn’t it, that I chose chemistry as my subject for graduation. Now, at least for this act of bravery, you have to give me credit, because believe me, it does take a lot of courage to do that in which you know you cut a real pathetic figure. So then, tell me, am I not brave? And are not my experiences enough to earn me a name, in the Chemistry world encyclopedia?
I can justify my reticence in the lab though. Was it not for the sake of preserving the beautiful pallor of my lovely coat for which I had paid (or, rather, my parents had paid, for after all, I can happily say that I haven’t earned a single penny all my life) a full Rs. 300(from what I can remember), that I was so very reticent to do any experiment. But wait, that was not the only reason, you see, I am of a very kindly nature and always let the others do the whole experiment, whatever subject lab it be, even the parts I am supposed to do, and add to their knowledge whilst I bravely shoulder the ignominy of being an absolute duffer at practicals. Now tell me, apart from epitomising meticulounesss, do I not epitomize kindliness too? So Long. Cheers. God Bless.