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Things That I Would and Would Not Say to a Gorgeous Vegas Showgirl

Updated on October 30, 2014

Welcome to my HubPages laboratory

This is a piece that I call my “Hub Length Experiment,” and for good reason. Recently I was doing some hub-hopping and enjoying myself reading the hubs of new hubbers, writer’s from all-over, and to be totally-corny, something amazing happened. Out of the number of various hubs that I read, I found out that the shorter the hubs, the more comments they had.

Now I am not about to tell you that producing short hubs will always guarantee over 100 comments, but I will tell you that one short hub I read, had well-over 70 comments varying in size and content. It was staggering to my thinking. The subject of the hub was something non-controversial and very normal. That too, was staggering to my thinking, because usually, a controversial hub filled with some unknown information, or some ancient secret, you would think, would get hundreds, maybe thousands of comments.

(from left), Beautiful Vegas showgirl being admird by Lou Costello, and Bud Abbott, famous Hollywood comedians
(from left), Beautiful Vegas showgirl being admird by Lou Costello, and Bud Abbott, famous Hollywood comedians | Source
Beauty should be her middle name
Beauty should be her middle name | Source
Men, don't you just "go to jelly" at the sight of such a gorgeous showgirl?
Men, don't you just "go to jelly" at the sight of such a gorgeous showgirl? | Source

Not so with the materials I read. So with my amazing discovery, I am going to write this hub entitled:

Things I Would And Would Not Say to a Gorgeous Vegas Showgirl

(with five things “I would” say and five things “I would not say).

Five Things I Would Say to a Gorgeous Vegas Showgirl

  1. “It should be a sin for a woman to be as gorgeous as you.”
  2. “Would you mind if I just listened to you talk?”
  3. “I would love to hear what you think about Quantum Physics.”
  4. “Your husband or boyfriend is the most-blessed man on earth.”
  5. “Would you mind if I asked for your autograph?”

Five Things That I Would Not Say to a Gorgeous Vegas Showgirl

  1. “What muscles you have in your legs.”
  2. “Is that really you underneath all of that make-up?”
  3. “Do you mind lending me enough money to get something to eat?”
  4. “You remind me of a prostitute I saw once in a porno film.”
  5. “Your over-bite does not hinder your good looks.”

And “that” short hub only had five total photos, all of high-resolution.

I just used three photos all of high-resolution.

So with that, I am finished.

For your viewing pleasure . . .

Comments

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    • kenneth avery profile image
      Author

      Kenneth Avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      vkwok,

      Thank you so much, good friend. You are always blessing others. I admire that. Have a great Tuesday.

    • kenneth avery profile image
      Author

      Kenneth Avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hi, Tricia,

      Yes, they are. Showgirls are works of art and I would treat them as such and guard my mouth from uttering things like are on this hub.

      Thank you for your nice comment.

    • vkwok profile image

      Victor W. Kwok 3 years ago from Hawaii

      Great first hub of the day!

    • profile image

      Tricia Deed 3 years ago

      Showgirls are great to watch. Lots of sparkle and feathers to tickle your fancy.

    • kenneth avery profile image
      Author

      Kenneth Avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      lifegate,

      You can bank on it. I have a few of my new and streamlined hubs for you to read, but I will give you a full-report.

      Thanks for asking.

    • kenneth avery profile image
      Author

      Kenneth Avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      esmonaco,

      I would rather starve than to be embarrassed to ask a hard-working showgirl for lunch money. I might change my mind depending on if she smiled or scowled at me.

      But as hard as these girls work, I would lose a few pounds and wait until a man showed up.

    • kenneth avery profile image
      Author

      Kenneth Avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hi, vocalcoach,

      I admire your taste in compliments and awkwardness of words.

      I am so glad that you left a comment. God bless you.

    • kenneth avery profile image
      Author

      Kenneth Avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Dear catherine,

      My sincere thanks to you for leaving such a sweet comment.

      You are right. shorter hubs DO leave more time for laughing and commenting.

      Do not worry. I am not going to do War and Peace in 12 seperate hubs.

      That might turn to work.

    • kenneth avery profile image
      Author

      Kenneth Avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      sheilamyers,

      I cannot complain. So far, five of my wonderful followers, including you too, have commented on this short hub.

      I didn't think that I would like short hubs, but I can be wrong.

      Thanks, dear sheila, for being a great friend and follower.

    • profile image

      sheilamyers 3 years ago

      I don't have much to say about the hub except, once again, you made me laugh. I hope your hypothesis is proven correct and you get tons of comments.

    • lifegate profile image

      William Kovacic 3 years ago from Pleasant Gap, PA

      Lem me know your results.

    • esmonaco profile image

      Eugene Samuel Monaco 3 years ago from Lakewood New York

      As always Ken, you make me laugh. There is nothing wrong with asking a pretty girl for money to eat :) Thanks

    • vocalcoach profile image

      Audrey Hunt 3 years ago from Nashville Tn.

      If I were a Vegas showgirl, I would like compliment #1 and #4. Oh yeah! On your list of what not to say, I chose #3 and #5 which I'm still laughing about.

      Thanks, Kenneth. - Audrey

    • CatherineGiordano profile image

      Catherine Giordano 3 years ago from Orlando Florida

      Very good Ken. You made me laugh again, especially the one asking for money. Short hubs require less reading time leaving more commenting time.