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The Best Tiger Woods Jokes

Updated on June 17, 2011
Collection of Tiger Woods Jokes   (Photo:Photobucket)
Collection of Tiger Woods Jokes (Photo:Photobucket)
  • Santa shouts out "Ho! Ho! Ho!" and Tiger asks "Where? Where? Where?"
  • What was Tiger Woods' wife doing out at 2:30 AM? Clubbing.
  • His wife wont call him Tiger any more, she'll be calling him cheetah.
  • Did you make it out of your own driveway safely this morning? Then you can say that you outdrove Tiger Woods.
  • I find it's a nightmare driving at 2.25am: sometimes you can't see the Woods for the trees.
  • Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree ... he couldn't decide between a wood and an iron.
  • That’s the first time Tiger Woods has failed to drive 300 yards
  • Tiger Woods owns several cars, it's a shame he got a hole in one.
  • Crouching Tiger, hidden hydrant.
  • Apparently, the only person who can beat Tiger Woods with a golf club is Elin.
  • Perhaps Tiger should have used a driver
  • New Nike “TW” hat……..$25 New Nike Golf Shoes……$125 New Cadillac Escalade….$60,000 New Nike Iron, wrapped around your head by jealous wife... PRICELESS !
  • What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing.
  • His wife Elin told police that she went for a rescue wood, but it looks like she really went for the driver.
  • Elin Woods has a twin sister. Know how to tell them apart? Elin is the one holding the bent 5 iron
  • Police – “Are you ok, it looks like you’ve just played 18 holes?” Tiger – “That does it, who else has been opening their big mouth?”
  • Elin Nordegren got hired today as a consultant. She’s teaching Phil Mickelson how to beat Tiger.
  • Idiot, she only asked you to give her a wood not ’some’ wood.
  • I heard Tiger just couldn’t face playing in the tournament this week. He was quite cut up about it.
  • What is the similarity between Tiger Woods and baby seals? They both get clubbed by Norwegians.
  • The Tiger has been Lion.
  • A Lion wouldn't cheat on his wife. But a Tiger wood.

Stricktlydating.

Source: Photobucket
Source: Photobucket

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    • profile image

      fc1612 6 years ago

      ya hoo

    • stricktlydating profile image
      Author

      StricktlyDating 6 years ago from Australia

      That's great, thanks for your comments!

    • slc334 profile image

      slc334 6 years ago from Canada

      Thanks for the belly laughs, my wife and I enjoyed these very much!

    • freelanceauthor profile image

      freelanceauthor 7 years ago

      Funny jokes. Thanks for sharing them

    • profile image

      Currency Trading 7 years ago

      Quite Funny,

      Enjoyed a lot reading these thanks fore share!

    • stricktlydating profile image
      Author

      StricktlyDating 7 years ago from Australia

      Thanks part-time writer, no I didn't come up with all of these on my own, gathered them from around the internet in forums and news articles! Glad you like them!

    • Part-time Writer profile image

      Part-time Writer 7 years ago from Way Up North (USA)

      These were great! Did you come up with these on your own? I will be sharing some of these tomorrow at work.

    • stricktlydating profile image
      Author

      StricktlyDating 7 years ago from Australia

      Thanks bonny2010!

    • bonny2010 profile image

      bonetta hartig 7 years ago from outback queensland

      know any jokes about the bloke - don't follow him,but I enjoyed what I read - thanks

    • profile image

      Pharmacy 7 years ago

      lol .. have heard few b4 but some were new and very funny.

      Thanx for sharing here :-)

    • stricktlydating profile image
      Author

      StricktlyDating 7 years ago from Australia

      Hahahahaha! I love that one Springboard! Thanks!

    • Springboard profile image

      Springboard 7 years ago from Wisconsin

      Love 'em. Poor guy's really made a name for himself. Here's one I heard that I liked;

      Tiger Woods played 18 holes today, and afterwards went golfing.

      Great hub.

    • stricktlydating profile image
      Author

      StricktlyDating 7 years ago from Australia

      Thanks Shandy Sally! Glad you enjoyed them!

    • Shady Sally profile image

      Shady Sally 7 years ago from MidAmerica

      All in one place...marvelous compilation!

    • ehern33 profile image

      ehern33 7 years ago

      I like the police joke and playing the 18 holes.. Haven't hear a few of these. Thanks, just became your follower..

    • stricktlydating profile image
      Author

      StricktlyDating 7 years ago from Australia

      Hahaha! That's funny Greenwell, Green - thanks for your comment!

    • profile image

      Greenwell, Green 7 years ago

      I just got a game through my work email that starts as you being Tiger and running in the Escalade to get away from angry Momma with a club. It was funny for about two seconds, at which point i realized that my life was so great.

    • westpointfb20 profile image

      westpointfb20 7 years ago from California

      hahahaha thanks for the laugh =P lol

    • stricktlydating profile image
      Author

      StricktlyDating 7 years ago from Australia

      Thanks Maita, Happy holidays to you too!

    • stricktlydating profile image
      Author

      StricktlyDating 7 years ago from Australia

      Hehe, thanks Bob, nice to hear from you!

    • diogenes profile image

      diogenes 7 years ago from UK and Mexico

      Hi again: What a gift to the world press this all was. I scanned through and will read again and become a fan of yours if you can make me laugh as well as being brave over caterpillars...Bob

    • prettydarkhorse profile image

      prettydarkhorse 7 years ago from US

      hehe, you made me smile, hey I came over to greet you happy holidays to you and yours,

      Maita

    • stricktlydating profile image
      Author

      StricktlyDating 7 years ago from Australia

      Thanks Chris! Glad you enjoyed them!

    • Chris Cook profile image

      Chris Cook 7 years ago from Key West, Florida

      These jokes made my day. Now I can go to bed. Thanks!

    • stricktlydating profile image
      Author

      StricktlyDating 7 years ago from Australia

      Thanks for your comments and wish you all a very merry Christmas!

    • H P Roychoudhury profile image

      H P Roychoudhury 7 years ago from Guwahati, India

      Interesting poem - I enjoyed it. Thanks.

    • Lady_E profile image

      Elena 7 years ago from London, UK

      Hmmm. Interesting Jokes.... couldn't laugh out loud though.

      I'm sure He'll never ever play away again. I heard his Dad was quite strict with him and when he died, I think Tiger just had to catch up with all he had missed out on. I wish him and family happiness again.

      ..... and wish you a Merry Xmas, all the way in OZ. :)

    • Putz Ballard profile image

      Putz Ballard 7 years ago

      So funny, thanks for sharing these.

    • stricktlydating profile image
      Author

      StricktlyDating 7 years ago from Australia

      G'day Cheeky Girl, I'm not sure! Not for a little while at least!! Best wishes for the holidays!

    • Cheeky Girl profile image

      Cassandra Mantis 7 years ago from UK and Nerujenia

      This is funny! Will this poor man ever live it down?

    • stricktlydating profile image
      Author

      StricktlyDating 7 years ago from Australia

      Thanks Nell :)

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 7 years ago from England

      Ha Ha I like the one by the police and the clubbed by norwegians. very funny. Cheers Nell