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Toddlers And Tiaras -- Queen Of The Stone Age Pageant

Updated on July 7, 2013

Send in the clown; she's already here

This episode really didn't feature and really bad mother, this week. No one as bad as some of the mother's we've met in previous weeks. If one mother won the worst title it would probably be the clown.

Natasha is her name and she spent a great deal of time whining about how she has to be a clown to afford these pageants. She seemed to spend so much time listening to the sound of her own voice that she couldn't hear the various ways that Savannah 3 was trying to tell her she doesn't want to do these pageants. She'd rather play soccer than practice her routine. I don't want to do this. I want to be home with Daddy. You name it and she tuned out every word to yap about how she has to be a clown to afford the pageant.

Samantha is the mother to 2 year old, Charli, and she didn't seem to be any happier doing the pageant than Savannah was. It turns out, and I found this absolutely hilarious, before she started putting little Charli into pageants, she did doggie pageants with her dogs. She declared it was just a natural progression. She started putting Charli in pageants when she was 4 months old.

The final mother was TreShanda whose motto is you can't do pageants if you gotta pay rent, so she basically lets her boyfriend pay all the bills. Her two year old daughter is named Maddisyn Rae. I swear the spelling for some of these names kills me. As do some of the names they pin on these kids. I guess even when they're pushing the kid out they're already planning for the kid to be in pageants and they want some fancy dancy name with weird spelling to make them stand out. I've never seen anyone spell Madison Maddisyn and even that wasn't fancy enough. She stuck a Rae on the end. I also have a hard time believing her own mother named her TreShanda and think she may have made that name up for herself.

TreShanda describes Maddisyn Rae as a monster who loves boogers. Yeah, while Honey Boo Boo is the Queen of Farts, little Maddisyn Rae is the Queen of Boogers. She got started in kiddie pageants at 18 months. For the Stone Age Wear, she's going to be a dinosaur. Unfortunately, the outfit doesn't fit and Maddisyn Rae has a fit when it's put on her which makes TreShanda all stressed out and she starts crying.

Once again, Savannah doesn't hide the fact she's just not excited to go to the pageant so Clown Mom tries to bribe her with ice cream. Clown Mom, of course, ignores that. In Clown Mom's mind she's sacrificing by being a clown all so Savannah can do these pageants. Never mind that Savannah doesn't want to do them.

The pageant is being held in Charlotte, North Carolina. The pageant director is Carla Smith and she gives her take on the contestants featured. Charli is a fireball on stage. Savannah is quiet and shy. And Maddisyn Rae is cute. She might not say that about Maddisyn if she had seen her screaming like a banshee all because her head phones got pushed up on her head so they wouldn't fall off her head. Meanwhile, Charli hates getting ready for the pageants and Savannah wants to be playing hockey with her daddy instead of this.

During beauty, Charli starts crying for her daddy and he has to take her out on stage, instead. Notice how these kids always cry for Daddy instead of Mommy. This is when the seeds are being sowed for the kids having issues with their mothers when they grow up. Speaking of which Savannah won't even speak to Clown Mom before she has to go on stage. Get a clue, Clown Mom, she doesn't want to do this and she's already beginning to resent you for making her do it.

Clown Mom goes running off to wash Savannah's flipper when it falls on the floor. The judges call Savannah on stage and she's late getting there waiting for Clown Mom to return. The first part of her routine is good, but the last half falls apart, since she forgets what she's supposed to do. That's probably because she played soccer instead of practicing her routine because she doesn't want to do this. She tells Clown Mom she doesn't want to go back in after falling apart on stage. Per usual, Clown Mom isn't listening as she gets her reading to be Eve for Stone Age Wear.

Charil has a fit as mom prepared her to be Pebbles, but she manages to perform well on stage. Savannah is sad because she wants her Daddy, but she does good on stage. Maddisyn wants to go to sleep instead of on stage. TreShanda wakes her up and makes her go on stage, but she doesn't do anything. Even Daddy Michael shaking her Boo stuffed dog won't do anything to get a rise out of her.

Maddisyn Rae gets 1st Runner Up and no crown. Dad Michael wanted her to get Ultimate Grand Supreme. Charli gets a crown as Queen of the Stone Age. And poor little Savannah gets Mini Supreme, insuring Clown Mom will continue to close her ears to Savannah's pleas of not wanting to do this.


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    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image

      Patty Inglish 4 years ago from USA. Member of Asgardia, the first space nation, since October 2016

      This sounds like an expensive "Hunger Games" for pre-schoolers.

      Baby pageants might possibly be cute during a city festival - like mini pumpkin queen or some such, but the continuing pageant grind for tiny ones is not healthy when the kids are forced to do it and parents are over-invested psychologically and monetarily. Clown Mom should find a pageant for herself.

      Do any other countries have this type of event series? Not those that are starving to death, surely. Perhaps France (but I don't want to insult them if they are against the concept).

      Thanks for the eye opener!

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