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Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time

Updated on June 26, 2009

You've heard them throughout your life and you've cringed... and now here is the ultimate collection of the Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time.

The history of popular music is marked by phenomenal, profound and unforgettable lyrics such as:

You never close your eyes
Anymore when I kiss your lips

The Righteous Brothers - You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin'

He who made kittens put snakes in the grass
He's a lover of life but a player of pawns

Jethro Tull - Bungle In The Jungle

Hello, Darkness
My old friend

Simon and Garfunkel - The Sound of Silence

I ain't as good as I once was
But I'm as good at once as I ever was

Toby Keith - As Good As I Once Was

They would not listen
They did not know how
Perhaps they'll listen now

Don McLean - Vincent

You're like an Indian summer
In the middle of winter

Katy Perry - Thinking Of You

How can love survive
In such a graceless age

Don Henley - Heart Of The Matter

But it seems that for every great lyric there are avalanches of pure unadulterated trash which continually rape our ears. This collection is dedicated to just that: The worst lyrics that have ever been written in order to name and shame them into never being heard again!

We're not going to include John Lennon's lyrics as musical historians are still split on whether John's lyrics reflect that the original Paul really died, or if it was John's brain cells that had died due to his nasty habit of dipping his finger in a vial of liquid LSD and going off on three day "trips". I've also not listed any outright rap songs, as they're allĀ horrible lyrics written by individuals who are largely illiterate. You'll also note that the following generally acknowledged worst lyrics are not listed here:

1) The Eagles' Hotel California famous "colitas" is a real word and a reference to the Antelope Sage plant of the California deserts, also known as Colita De Rata.

2) Manfred Mann's version of Bruce Springsteen's Blinded By The Light has nothing to do with feminine hygiene products: the reference is "deuce", and that refers to a deuce coupe hot rod.

3) All the songs by The Turtles are intended to be parodies of love songs, thus the lyrics are strained. It's a testament to their songwriting prowess that most of them have now become love song standards!

4) If you think that Don McLean's American Pie is nothing more than an overlong senseless twaddle, look carefully into the brilliant lyrics and realize that it actually is the history of rock music from Buddy Holly's death in a plane crash in 1959 to the time of the song's release in 1971.

5) Jo Dee Messina in Bye Bye Love is misheard to sing "got my left foot down on my accelerator", which would mean she's driving with her legs crossed, but that's not the case as the lyrics state "got a lead foot down on my accelerator."

6) Similarly, Jimi Hendrix line in Purple Haze is "'scuse me while I kiss the sky," not "'scuse me while I kiss this guy."

7) "I've got my spine, I've got my Orange Crush" in REM's Orange Crush is actually "I've got my Sprite, I've got my Orange Crush." However, REM did sing "leaving was never my proud..." and "stand in the place where you live..." Not that it matters as REM was the single most over hyped and under talented band since The Bay City Rollers.

8) Anything by Paris Hilton because it doesn't count if you're the world's worst songwriter so you have no choice but to write bad lyrics.

There are lots more, but here are the Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time and I look forward to your additions of songs you believe have the worst lyrics in the Comments section!

Therefore, without further ado, it is with profound shame that I present to you the absolute worst scrap, garbage, waste, rubbish, offal, sewage, slop, swill, dross, junk, refuse, detritus, flotsam and jetsam lyrics ever that will make you want to poke out your eardrums with a steel spike! Read them at your own peril!

Check Out The Entire Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time!

Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #1 to #10
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #11 to #20
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #21 to #30
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #31 to #40
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #41 to #50
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #51 to #60
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #61 to #70
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #71 to #80
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #81 to #90
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #91 to #100


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    • profile image

      squish 4 years ago

      Colitas is slang for marijuana. It literally means little tails, as the buds from the cannabis plant resemble small tails. "Warm smell of colitas (marijuana) riding up through the air" if you're gonna write an informative article, be properly informed.

    • profile image

      Haydon 5 years ago

      The lyric to Orange Crush is definitely NOT "I've got my Sprite...". The song is about the use of Agent Orange in Vietnam, and the lyric IS "I've got my spine...".

    • Hal Licino profile image

      Hal Licino 8 years ago from Toronto

      I'd love to do a Hub on misheard lyrics, but there are a couple of sites that already have that covered very well. My favorite is Toto: I left my brains down in Africa. :)

    • Sandyspider profile image

      Sandy Mertens 8 years ago from Wisconsin, USA

      I remember the Bee Gees singing "More than a woman" but on the radio it sure sounded like "Baldheaded woman" This brings back memories.

    • ethel smith profile image

      Eileen Kersey 8 years ago from Kingston-Upon-Hull

      My old Mum used to think the Beatle Paperback writer was Piant me back whiter lol