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Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #1 to #10

Updated on June 26, 2009

Worst Lyrics Of All Time - #1

Lucky that my breasts
Are small and humble
So you don't confuse
Them with mountains

Shakira - Whenever, Wherever

This has to be the first lyric in the history of modern music which celebrates being on the Itty Bitty Titty Committee. Personally, I'm not crazy about mountains either and would choose Shakira over Pam Anderson any day. After all, there is a perfectly good reason why the French insist that the perfect breast fits into a champagne glass!

Worst Lyrics Of All Time - #2

If I was a sculptor
But then again, no

Elton John - Your Song

Ok... make up your mind. Are you a sculptor or not? I honestly don't know what Bernie Taupin is doing in the pantheon of great lyricists. Tim Rice's toe jam can write better lyrics than Bernie.

Worst Lyrics Of All Time - #3

Hungry as hell no food to eat
And Joe said that he would sell his soul
For just a piece of meat

My stomach was full as it could be
And nobody ever got around
To finding Timothy

Timothy, Timothy, where on earth did you go?
Timothy, Timothy, God why don't I know?

The Buoys - Timothy

Ok... let me get this straight... so a bunch of miners are caught in a cave-in for days... they apparently have lots of water because they're just hungry... and they decide to eat one of the miners, some poor sap named Timothy? Bones and all? And this is supposed to be "fodder" for a hit song? Dang... the Sixties were weirder even than I remember!

Worst Lyrics Of All Time - #4

There is water at the bottom of the ocean
Carry the water at the bottom of the ocean
Remove the water at the bottom of the ocean

Talking Heads - Once In A Lifetime

You may ask yourself
Why did they write this stupid lyric?
And you may ask yourself
Why did anyone actually buy this album?
And you may ask yourself
Where has this group gone?
And you may ask yourself
Who cares, good riddance?
And you may tell yourself
My God! Why did I ever listen to them?

Worst Lyrics Of All Time - #5

Someone left the cake out in the rain
And I don't think that I can take it
'cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh, no!

Richard Harris - MacArthur Park

Although I can certainly admit that it is a rousing anthem of a song, as soon as you start listening to the lyrics you really wonder just how much pot they smoked back in the Seventies. What the heck is that about the cake and bake and recipe and... ???

Worst Lyrics Of All Time - #6

There were plants and birds and rocks and things
There was sand and hills and rings
The first thing I met was a fly with a buzz
And the sky with no clouds
The heat was hot and the ground was dry
But the air was full of sound

America - A Horse With No Name

If we have to list one of the most narcotics-powered songs of all times, A Horse With No Name has to take the MacArthur Park cake. The lyrics themselves are supposed to be about heroin (horse) but how stoned do you have to be to write that the heat was hot?

Worst Lyrics Of All Time - #7

Drop kick me, Jesus through the goal posts of life
End over end, neither left nor to right
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights

Bobby Bare - Drop Kick Me, Jesus

"Whooeeee Geeeezus... you sho' can drop kick my redneck hillbilly ass through them righteous uprights..." There is so much wrong with this song that it almost seems like picking on a baby to make fun of it.

Worst Lyrics Of All Time - #8

I don't want to see a ghost
It's the sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast
Watch the evening news

Des'ree - Life

Ghost, most, toast? Just how desperate were you when you were going through the rhyming dictionary, Des'ree? That has to go down in musical history as the most nonsensical passage since the drug-fueled Sixties songwriters were penning tunes while inhaling spiffs the size of Harley mufflers!

Worst Lyrics Of All Time - #9

I'm as serious as cancer
When I say rhythm is a dancer

Snap - Rhythm Is A Dancer

What a lovely mental image. What's wrong, Snap? Couldn't you have also rhymed tumor with humor; carcinoma with aroma; malignant with indignant; leukemia with Bohemia; sarcoma with Oklahoma; or how about Waldenstrom Macroglobulinemia with Diabetic Reacive Hypoglycemia?

Worst Lyrics Of All Time - #10

Respectfully I say to thee
I'm aware that you're cheating
But no one makes me feel like you do

Diana Ross - Upside Down

Now that's a man's dream woman! She not only "respectfully" informs "thee" that she's found out about your mistress (which means that she's not going to hit you over the head with a frying pan and serve you with divorce papers) but she admits that you're a great lover, so it's ok! Yikes!

Check Out The Entire Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time!

Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #1 to #10
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #11 to #20
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #21 to #30
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #31 to #40
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #41 to #50
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #51 to #60
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #61 to #70
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #71 to #80
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #81 to #90
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #91 to #100

Comments

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    • profile image

      Carol 

      5 years ago

      'She's not going to hit you over the head with a frying pan and serve you with divorce papers' Pauline Fowler and Dirty Den?

    • profile image

      Michael 

      6 years ago

      My favorite put-down of 'A Horse With No Name' comes allegedly from Randy Newman. He described the song as "a kid who THINKS he's taken acid." Ouch!

    • profile image

      Craig 

      7 years ago

      Only looking at 1-10....you haven't a clue what good lyrics are...America's song was great, so was the Talking Heads song. There are billions of worse lyrics out there. Get real

    • profile image

      2d 

      7 years ago

      sorry. talking heads were a great band

    • profile image

      Poshclogs 

      7 years ago

      Glad to see that my all time hated lyric from Snap - serious as cancer etc etc made it to your top ten. Should be higher tho....

    • SOLIQUITY profile image

      SOLIQUITY 

      8 years ago from USA

      yes sir,,,don't u luv it....

    • Hal Licino profile imageAUTHOR

      Hal Licino 

      8 years ago from Toronto

      See the pyramids along the Nile

      Watch the sun rise on a tropic isle

      But just remember, darling, all the while

      You belong to me

      See the marketplace in old Algiers

      Send me photographs and souvenirs

      Just remember when a dream appears

      You belong to me

      I'll be so alone without you

      Maybe you'll be lonesome too and blue

      :)

    • SOLIQUITY profile image

      SOLIQUITY 

      8 years ago from USA

      omg, you must be a true Musical Guru. I must check out all your pages. Stop by to tell me what you think of this: https://hubpages.com/entertainment/CAN-YOU-NAME-TH

      this has to be a breeze for you...

    • Hal Licino profile imageAUTHOR

      Hal Licino 

      8 years ago from Toronto

      Nope, it's water. At the bottom of the ocean. There's lots there. :)

    • profile image

      David 

      8 years ago

      Wow. Your ten worst lyrics of all time actually contains at least two that are widely regarded as good, provoking lyrics (Talking Heads and America).

      Maybe you just can't wrap your mind around things that aren't literal. You realize that the water at the bottom of the ocean lyrics refer to futility & religious references, no?

      Given your aversion to non-literal things, I would not be surprised if you thought this lyric from Paul McCartney (When I'm 64) is one of the ten BEST of all time:

      Grandchildren on your knee

      Vera, Chuck, and Dave!

    • profile image

      8 years ago

      talking heads? way to invalidate the whole list.

    • Hal Licino profile imageAUTHOR

      Hal Licino 

      8 years ago from Toronto

      Numa numa?

    • Madruga profile image

      Madruga 

      8 years ago from Romania

      ahahaha =)

      wonder if Numa Numa lyrics are in here ;)

    • Hal Licino profile imageAUTHOR

      Hal Licino 

      8 years ago from Toronto

      Yeah, you definitely have a point! :)

    • Hokey profile image

      Hokey 

      8 years ago from In the energy.

      A horse with no name.( the heat was Hot) well he WAS on heroin. lol

    • Hal Licino profile imageAUTHOR

      Hal Licino 

      9 years ago from Toronto

      Maybe the subliminal message is: This is a lousy lyric, this is a lousy lyric, this is a lousy lyric, this is a lousy lyric, this is a lousy lyric, this is a lousy lyric, this is a lousy lyric... :)

    • Catlyn profile image

      Catlyn 

      9 years ago from Somewhere in the OC

      ROFLOL !! ..maybe there are some subliminal messages between the lines!! Great Hub! Looking forward to reading the rest of them !!

    • Hal Licino profile imageAUTHOR

      Hal Licino 

      9 years ago from Toronto

      I loved them. Just didn't get some of their lyrics! :)

    • profile image

      sasquatch666 

      9 years ago

      talking heads rocked

    • Hal Licino profile imageAUTHOR

      Hal Licino 

      9 years ago from Toronto

      I was a spring chicken but at the time we called them small dinosaurs. :) The songwriter, Jimmy Webb, has stated that MacArthur Park is the story of a time when he lost the love of his life and he would go walking through the Park in misery. The cake melting in the rain is the symbolic wedding cake that they would never have. But, yeah, it's a confusing song! :)

    • 2patricias profile image

      2patricias 

      9 years ago from Sussex by the Sea

      I've just realised that I was even more confused in the 60s that I thought I was at the time. I honestly thought that MacArthur Park was about sex! Then, I mean, not now! I really was a spring chicken then.

      Actually I am still confused a lot of the time, but I think it's an age thing now.

    • Hal Licino profile imageAUTHOR

      Hal Licino 

      9 years ago from Toronto

      I'm no spring chicken either but Des'ree doesn't make sense to anyone! :)

    • ethel smith profile image

      Ethel Smith 

      9 years ago from Kingston-Upon-Hull

      Some of these were not literal lyrics you know. Perhaps it is because I am from that generation that some make sense to me lol

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