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Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #21 to #30

Updated on July 7, 2009

Worst Lyrics Of All Time - #21

Oh, I've been to Nice and the Isle of Greece while I've sipped champagne on a yacht
I've moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo and showed 'em what I've got
I've been undressed by kings and I've seen some things that a woman ain't supposed to see
I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me
Hey, you know what paradise is?
It's a lie, a fantasy we create about people and places as we'd like them to be
But you know what truth is?
It's that little baby you're holding, it's that man you fought with this morning
The same one you're going to make love with tonight
That's truth, that's love

Charlene - I've Never Been To Me

That's truth, that's love, that's an emetogenic vomit-inducing Ipecac of a song. First of all, Charlene, Greece is a country. It has a mainland and many islands. There is no such thing as The Isle Of Greece. Besides, if you've just had a baby and you're fighting with your husband, you don't need to make love to him tonight, you need a restraining order!

Worst Lyrics Of All Time - #22

They say Miss J's big butt is boss
Kate Moss can't find a job

You look at me
but you're not quite sure
Am I it or could you get more?

Jewel - Intuition

Very classy to plunk into your lyrics the size of Jennifer Lopez's derriere and follow it up with a claim that the anorexic-skinny Kate Moss can't get employed. After all we're trying to establish positive role models for our young girls, so let's continue to drive into their heads that they should starve themselves to be attractive! Besides, Jewel, you're flaunting it so much that at least you're honest about a guy checking you out and wondering whether he should settle for you, or hold out for someone skinnier!

Worst Lyrics Of All Time - #23

Situation desperate
Echoes of the victims cry
If I had a rocket launcher
Some son of a bitch would die

Bruce Cockburn - If I Had A Rocket Launcher

While we're on the subject of establishing superlative role models for youth, let's show them that peace is the way! Therefore whenever you're confronted, reach for a rocket launcher and kill that son of a bitch!

Worst Lyrics Of All Time - #24

There's a girl in this harbor town
And she works laying whiskey down
They say Brandy, fetch another round
She serves them whisky and wine
The sailors say
Brandy, you're a fine girl
You're a fine girl
What a good wife you would be

Looking Glass - Brandy

Now we're talking role models! You're a fine girl and you'd make a good wife! Now fetch some more whisky and wine, wench! If this isn't one of the most patently offensive song lyrics which demean women it would have to be the next one...

Worst Lyrics Of All Time - #25

Talkin’ ’bout things about that special one
They may be stupid but they sure are fun
I’ll give it to you while we’re on the run
Because we ain’t got time to get this thing together, ’cause we
Got to get together with a woman who has been around

Todd Rundgren - We Gotta Get You A Woman

Todd... Todd... Todd... you prove that you're a musical genius by writing unforgettable standards like Hello It's Me, Can We Still Be Friends, and I Saw The Light as well producing some of the biggest names in pop music, including one of the great albums of all time, my buddy Meat Loaf's Bat Out Of Hell, and then you write that women "may be stupid but they sure are fun", and that you want to get you and your buddy into a threesome with a woman "who has been around"? What kind of Neanderthal male chauvanist pig are you?

Worst Lyrics Of All Time - #26

He brought out the woman in me, so many times, easily

Then it happened one day, we came around the same way.
You can imagine his surprise when he saw his own eyes.
I said, "Please, please understand. I’m in love with another man
And what couldn’t give me was the one little thing that you can."

Heart - All I Want to Do is Make Love to You

Of all the songs in pop history, this is the only one that makes me want to rush into a shower and scrub myself all over with anti-bacterial soap and an exfoliating loofah sponge. Ok, so morbidly obese Heart lead singer Ann Wilson can't get knocked up by her impotent hubby, so she goes out for a drive looking for a good lookin' dude "to use" for his "one little thing" which makes a baby, and she has some great orgasms along the way just to seal the deal? Maybe I should bathe in bleach. If #25 was written by a male chauvanist pig, #26 is for all the female chauvanist sows out there.

Worst Lyrics Of All Time - #27

Put on your noseguard
Put on the Lifeguard
Pass the tanning butter
Here comes a stingray
There goes a manta-ray
In walked a jellyfish
There goes a dog-fish
Chased by a cat-fish
In flew a sea robin
Watch out for that piranha
There goes a narwhal
Here comes a bikini whale

The B-52s - Rock Lobster

How do you put on a lifeguard? How do jelly fish walk? What is a piranha doing in a salt water ocean... or a cat fish for that matter? Why do you need tanning butter if you're around narwhals which are marine mammals only found near the poles? And what is Heart's Ann Wilson doing in this song wearing a bikini?

Worst Lyrics Of All Time - #28

Are we human?
Or are we dancer?
My sign is vital
My hands are cold

Killers - Human

I don't have a clue what the heck this song is all about. All I know is that no human wrote it, as that species usually has some modicum of intelligence. Shouldn't it be "or are we dancer(s)?" And what is the meaning of the vital sign and the cold hands? Then again, whey even bother trying to reason out the unreasonable?

Worst Lyrics Of All Time - #29

I wish I was in Tijuana
Eating barbequed iguana

Celtic Frost - Mexican Radio

The less said about this the better. It couldn't have been worse if it had been:

I wish I was in Tijuana
Smoking a ton of marijuana

I wish I was in Tijuana
Listening to Grunge Nirvana

I wish I was in Tijuana
Asking naked chicks if they wanna

or

I wish I was in Tijuana
Instead of here in Botswana

Worst Lyrics Of All Time - #30

And when their eloquence escapes me
Their logic ties me up and rapes me
De do do do, de da da da
Is all I want to say to you
De do do do, de da da da
Their innocence will pull me through

The Police - De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da

Nonsense taken to the nth degree is the name of the game in this Police classic where the upbeat Brit Reggae rhythm disguises the fact that the lyrics might have made sense before Sting dropped them in a blender.

Check Out The Entire Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time!

Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #1 to #10
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #11 to #20
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #21 to #30
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #31 to #40
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #41 to #50
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #51 to #60
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #61 to #70
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #71 to #80
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #81 to #90
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #91 to #100

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      Steve 7 years ago

      on # 25.......

      Maybe you're too young too have gotten the history on this.

      According to Todd, the lyrics were misinterpreted and women were up in arms about it back in the early 70's. What was 'stupid' are the 'THINGS about that special one'. In other words, silly things we say and do related to finding and being with a special women. He was not referring to the women. And the song was about his then manager and friend Paul Fishkin who apparently could not 'get a women'. After the uproar, even though the controversy was unfounded and the lyrics were explained, Todd met with a coalition of women and promised not to sing the song anymore and in fact has not.

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