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Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #51 to #60

Updated on June 26, 2009

Worst Lyrics Of All Time - #51

Bonedigger Bonedigger
Dogs in the moonlight
Far away my well-lit door
Mr. Beerbelly Beerbelly
Get these mutts away from me
You know I don't find this stuff amusing anymore
If you'll be my bodyguard
I can be your long lost pal
I can call you Betty
And Betty when you call me
You can call me Al

Paul Simon - You Can Call Me Al

You can call me Hal and you can call me Confused as I haven't the slightest clue what the heck Paul Simon was smoking when he wrote this song... indeed... almost every track on his Graceland album has the most disconnected and irrational lyrics since John Lennon and his LSD trips.

Worst Lyrics Of All Time - #52

And if I was the President
The minute that Congress called my name
I'd say "Now who do
Who do you think you're fooling?
I've got the Presidential Seal
I'm up on the Presidential Podium
My mama loves me, she loves me
She get down on her knees and hug me
She loves me like a rock"

Paul Simon - Loves Me Like a Rock

Although this song preceded the Graceland album, it's just as insane as any of his later work.

Worst Lyrics Of All Time - #53

I always turn the car around

Oar - Shattered

Darn good thing you turn the car around otherwise you'll just be going in a straight line until you hit the ocean! Duh!

Worst Lyrics Of All Time - #54

Smell like I sound
I'm lost in a crowd
And I'm hungry like the wolf

Duran Duran - Hungry Like The Wolf

I've been known to have my fair share of body odor, especially on hot, humid days if I venture out of my air conditioned lonely writer's garret but I don't know what it means to be smelling like you sound. However, if that's referring to Duran squared's sound, it must really reek!

Worst Lyrics Of All Time - #55

One of sixteen vestal virgins
Who were leaving for the coast

Procol Harum - A Whiter Shade Of Pale

This song as many others from the Sixties can only be understood while on a drug fueled hallucination. Believe it or not, John Lennon held up Procol Harum to the other Beatles as what they should "aspire to be."

Worst Lyrics Of All Time - #56

Everybody have fun tonight
Everybody wang chung tonight

Wang Chung - Everybody Have Fun Tonight

If you're so desperate to have the listeners on the Eighties radio stations remember the name of your band, you're too needy to have a hit. Thus Wang Chung had no more fun after this single as they were never heard from again. Thank goodness.

Worst Lyrics Of All Time - #57

More sacrifices than an Aztec priest
Standing here straining at that leash
All fall down
Can't complain, mustn't grumble
Help yourself to another piece of apple crumble

ABC - That Was Then

What in the name of the God Of Bad Lyrics does Apple Crumble have to do with anything to do with Aztec Priests and straining at leashes? How can anyone deliver lines like this with a straight face?

Worst Lyrics Of All Time - #58

Now I know I've got to
Run away I've got to
Get away
You don't really want it any more from me

Soft Cell - Tainted Love

I have to admit that Marilyn Manson's version of this song is the definitive one, if you like creepy horror movie soundtrack tunes, so isn't it wonderfully romantic when you ask your very special girl if she really doesn't want "it" any more from you? Ah... young love... it's so tender and beautiful...

Worst Lyrics Of All Time - #59

Well you're dirty and sweet, clad in black
Don't look back and I love you
You're dirty and sweet, oh yeah
Well you're slim and you're weak
You've got the teeth of a hydra upon you
You're dirty sweet and you're my girl
Get it on, bang the gong, get it on
Get it on, bang the gong, get it on

T. Rex - Bang A Gong

While we're on the subject of young love, what could be better than being "dirty and sweet and you're my girl" especially when she's slim and weak so you can bite her with your hydra teeth over and over again! Time to bang the gong to get it on. Heck, I didn't know that was the purpose of a gong. I'll have to head down to Chinatown and buy one pronto!

Worst Lyrics Of All Time - #60

A few times I've been around that track
So it's not just goin' to happen like that
Because I ain't no Hollaback girl
I ain't no Hollaback girl
Oooh, this my s**t, this my s**t
Let me hear you say, this s**t is bananas
B-A-N-A-N-A-S

Gwen Stefani - Hollaback Girl

Hey! Did you misappropriate some of Ms. Stefani's feces? Especially after she had eaten a surplus of bananas? Naughty boy! I hope that you were wearing gloves and had an N-99 respirator mask!

Check Out The Entire Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time!

Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #1 to #10
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #11 to #20
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #21 to #30
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #31 to #40
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #41 to #50
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #51 to #60
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #61 to #70
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #71 to #80
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #81 to #90
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #91 to #100

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