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Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #81 to #90

Updated on June 26, 2009

Worst Lyrics Of All Time - #81

Blue his house with a blue little window
And a blue Corvette
And everything is blue for him and hisself
And everybody around
Cos he ain't got nobody to listen to

Eiffel 65 - Blue

Blue his house? For him and hisself? Why don't we just truly embrace illiteracy and reward it with a song that tops the Billboard Hot 100 and makes the band millions of dollars? Just think! Eiffel 65 likely earned way more money off this song than a dozen English teachers do in their entire lifetimes!

Worst Lyrics Of All Time - #82

Squinched up your face and did a little dance
Shook a little turd out of the bottom of your pants
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you

The Moldy Peaches - Anyone Else but You

I never understood why Juno was a hit movie as it seemed like a crappy Canuck cheapo movie devised to suck some money out of Telefilm Canada, and I will never forgive the producers for triggering the atrocious, dreadful, ghastly, soundalike monotone Comcast TV commercials that I am forced to mute whenever they play. But some of these lyrics are not only just scatological, but repugnant! I'd like to shake a little turd over the songwriter's head! Besides, come on, who really names their kid Diablo Cody???

Worst Lyrics Of All Time - #83

I took a fish head
Out to see a movie
Didn't have to pay
To get it in
Fish heads, fish heads
Roly-poly fish heads
Fish heads, fish heads
Eat them up, yum
They can't play baseball
They don't wear sweaters
They're not good dancers
They don't play drums

Barnes And Barnes - Fish Heads

Nickelodeon, for some reason known only to the programming department, would regularly play this video as a filler during their Nick At Nite sitcom evenings, and the sight of this dorky guy eating popcorn at the movies next to a huge real fish head poking out of a man's shirt was just too weird for words! And did you know that one of the Barnes' is Bill Mumy who was Will Robinson on Lost in Space and Lennier on Babylon 5?

Worst Lyrics Of All Time - #84

Don't ask me where I'm at
'Cause I'm a million miles away
Treated like a forbidden heel

Green Day - Disappearing Boy

I certainly do wish this band was a million miles away, preferably in the vacuum of space where I couldn't hear them and their patently idiotic lyrics. What is a forbidden heel? Is that what professional tippitoers have?

Worst Lyrics Of All Time - #85

We're talking A-B-C
I'm singing do-re-mi
I'll teach you endlessly
Games of Love
We're counting 1-2-3
I'm writing "U 4 Me"
I'll teach you endlessly
Games of Love

Boyzone - Games of Love

Nooooooooooooooo... I don't know whether I would rather stick an icepick in my eyes to stop me from reading those lyrics or slam it into my eardrums so I never have to hear it! Rhyming A-B-C with do-re-mi and then just a couple of lines later going for 1-2-3 and U 4 Me? Aaaaaarrrrrgggghhhhhh!

Worst Lyrics Of All Time - #86

So come on and give it to me anyway you can
Anyway you want to do it, I'll take it like a man
But please baby, please don't leave me in this jam Mickey
Oh Mickey, you're so fine
You're so fine, you blow my mind, hey Mickey, hey Mickey

Toni Basil - Mickey

Ms. Herbaceous obviously has some gender issues. She's a woman but she's saying that she will take it like a man. Exactly what is she taking and why is she taking it and... these are all questions that I don't think I want the answer to, thank you very much!

Worst Lyrics Of All Time - #87

Its time to bring this ship into the shore
And throw away the oars, forever
'cause I cant fight this feeling anymore
I've forgotten what I started fighting for
And if I have to crawl upon the floor
Come crushing through your door

REO Speedwagon - Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore

Welcome to Mixed Up Metaphors Dot Com, the home of Stupid Similes: Today's special feature begins with an out of place and laughable marine metaphor where a ship is taken onto the shore which apparently was oar powered (which would make it a boat, not a ship) and then the protagonist crawls on the floor to proceed to crush through a door. Exactly how do you crush through a door? Wouldn't it be crashing? But then again, if it was, then it wouldn't merit a special feature right here on Mixed Up Metaphors Dot Com, the home of Stupid Similes!

Worst Lyrics Of All Time - #88

You ain’t seen nothin’yet b b b baby
You ain’t seen nothing yet
Here’s something that you’re never gonna forget
B b b baby you ain’t seen it you ain’t been around
And now I’m feeling better
'cos I was coming down for sure
She took me to her Doctor
And he told me I was cured

Bachman Turner Overdrive - You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet

This rock anthem to stutterers everywhere shows that Randy Bachman should have stuck with Burton Cummings in the legendary Canuck band The Guess Who. Not only do we have what very likely may be the only use of two aints in one phrase in the history of modern lyrics, but then in order to keep him from "coming down" the lady takes him to the Doctor who even before a perfunctory examination, announces he is cured: A vivid demonstration of exactly how the Canadian socialized medicine system works (or doesn't)!

Worst Lyrics Of All Time - #89

"All aboard"
"Britney, before you go, there's something I want you to have"
"Oh, it's beautiful, but wait a minute, isn't this?..."
"Yeah, yes, it is"
"But I thought the old lady dropped it into the ocean in the end"
"Well, baby, I went down and got it for you"
"Oh, you shouldn't have"

Britney Spears - Oops... I Did It Again

Am I the only one to wish that Ms. Pantiless Spears had been dropped off the Titanic instead of that big rock? At least we wouldn't have had to listen to her low croak in her voice for all these years. But we do have regrets: If at the time we'd known what was under that Vaginitis Express tight fitting red leather catsuit, we would have sent Ms. Spears on a one way trip to Mars along with that astronaut.

Worst Lyrics Of All Time - #90

When I'm not with you I lose my mind
Give me a sign
Hit me baby one more time

Britney Spears - Baby One More Time

A one-two punch for Britney! I really don't think I'd mind hitting her one more time for foisting this mindless pap on the world. The video to this song, with its barely dressed high school girls strutting and shaking what they've got became a favorite among pedophiles around the world. In fact, international police statistics show it's the number one video found on the iPods of trench coat wearing pervs in school zones. Granted, Britney was a bit old to be in high school when she released this tune... but then again knowing her general intelligence level it wouldn't surprise me at all if it took her a decade to graduate from high school.

Check Out The Entire Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time!

Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #1 to #10
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #11 to #20
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #21 to #30
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #31 to #40
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #41 to #50
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #51 to #60
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #61 to #70
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #71 to #80
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #81 to #90
Top 100 Worst Lyrics Of All Time #91 to #100

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    • profile image

      Steve 

      8 years ago

      What? No mention of Jethro Tull's Aqualung? How 'bout Locomotive Breath?

      I like Cream's "Sunshine Of Your Love", but really... "I'll stay with you 'til my seeds are dried up"

      Don't forget Clapton's "Easy Now".

      "Easy now, don't let my love flow out of you,

      Please remember that I want you to come, too."

    • Hal Licino profile imageAUTHOR

      Hal Licino 

      9 years ago from Toronto

      Dude, there were no girls who looked like that when I was going to high school. She might have been about 17 when the vid was released but girls who look like that didn't go to high school unless they had no brains and keep flunking... er... ya... we're talking about Britney here... never mind. :)

    • profile image

      anonymous 

      9 years ago

      "Granted, Britney was a bit old to be in high school when she released this tune... "

      Yeah. Because there are no 16/17 year olds in high school.

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