ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Top 5 Howard Stern Wack Packers

Updated on May 22, 2011

#1. Beetlejuice

With his timeless response to questions... "Who Me?", it's hard to deny Beetlejuice (Lester Green) the top spot on the Howard Stern Wack Pack. Often called Beet, he is a frequent guest on the show and a dwarf full of machismo. His rivalry with Hank the Angry Drunken Drawf was legendary.

Beetlejuice is a dynamo. Simply turn the microphone over to him and the show will soar to hilarious heights (unless he's in an angry mood). Beetlejuice has starred in movies and television too. Scary Movie 2 (2001), Bubble Boy (2001), This is Beetle (2009).

With a history too rich and deep to even begin to explore here, Beetlejuice is our #1 Wack Packer.


#2. Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf

Nobody. And I mean, nobody could control Hank the Angry Dwarf when he was on a bender in the Howard Stern studio. But who would want to?

He was intelligent, witty and damn funny. He once crushed Gary Dell'Abate (Baba Booey) in a rock 'n roll trivia contest as he was literally falling of his stool drunk... and Baba Booey considers himself to be an expert in this area (70's & 80's music)! The feud between Hank and Beetlejuice was incredible... listening to these guys duel was music to every fan's ears.

Hank passed away just before 9/11, but his contributions to the show will live on forever.


#3. Gary the Retard

Gary the Retard. The lovable, mentally challenged guest with thick glasses and a toothless smile will always be a fan favorite. I have never turned off the Howard Stern Show when Gary is on... it doesn't matter if he's in the studio, on the phone or the butt of a crank phone call... Gary never gets old!

Who will ever forget when Gary travelled to the moon (actually the Howard Stern Show green room)? Or when he exchanged verbal barbs with Wendy the Retard?

On of my favorites Gary moments: the crank call from Richard and Sal...

Gary: "Hello?"

Richard/Sal: Heavy breathing

Gary: "Quit it."

Richard/Sal: Heavy breathing

Gary: "Quit it."

Richard/Sal: Heavy breathing

Gary: "I'm gonna tell Howard on you!"

Richard/Sal: Heavy breathing

Gary: "You're sick. Bye."


#4. Wendy the Retard

Wendy loves to sing! She loves to call radio stations and talk... Howard Stern is not the only show she calls (just the best). Wendy loves drinking beer and her drunken voice mail messages are priceless.  She's an excellent babysitter too!

A sample of Wendy's classic voice mail messages (look them up on

"I'm Bored"

"I'm Going Nuts Without Power"

"Feel Like Drinking"

"Lose My Mind"

"I Hate Hurricanes"


#5. High Pitch Eric

High Pitch Eric.  Known for his falsetto speaking voice and his inability to hold down any respectable job, poor hygiene, and willingness to submit himself to any degrading act.  He has tried his hand at phony phone calls, check bouncing, and crapping in a bucket. 

Eric is loved because he causes problems everywhere he goes.  High Pitch Eric is the prototypical Wack Packer. 


Honorable Mention: Underdog Lady

Underdog Lady (Suzanne Muldowney). Classic Wack Packer. She is at once a performance artist and serious comic book character. She is the champion of Underdog (thinks she's Underdog?).

Her Howard Stern Show appearances are generally brief because she will hang up on Howard if she feels that he is too crude and vulgar. (And when isn't he?... all the time if you are an avid Howard Stern fan)

Wack Pack Poll

Who is your favorite Wack Packer?

See results


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • profile image


      4 years ago

      1.Beet 2.Eric the midget 3.Bigfoot 4.Gary the retard 5.High pitch

      Wendy is obviously an actor so she shouldn't be on any list. I think #2 I'd debatable b/w etm and bigfoot. But this is how the list should be.

    • profile image


      5 years ago

      daniel carver? wtf hes by far the best

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Where is Debbie the pet lady?

    • profile image

      Mark Wilson 

      9 years ago

      Speech Impediment man is the best Howard needs to bring him back on the show I love when he calls in I loved his pepper spray Joke.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)