ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Top Chef DC ep 3: Pastries and Picnics

Updated on June 29, 2013

No Angelo For Me

Kenny Top Chef DC
Kenny Top Chef DC | Source


Kenny was concerned that this season is turning into the “Angelo Show” because Angelo keeps winning challenges.  Meanwhile, Angelo was having a mental crisis over being thrown under the bus by Kenny at Judges’ Table last week.  Their rivalry needs a little more machismo in it; right now it’s like two little girls pulling each other’s hair on the playground.  (Drink every time someone uses the phrase “thrown under the bus”—it’s a popular one!)

The quickfire this week was all about dessert.  I love how the mere mention of the d-word sends the chefs into panic mode, especially since the two eliminated chefs went home for failing miserably in this category.  Johnny Iuzzini was the guest judge for the quickfire, and he made sure to plug his upcoming show Top Chef:  Just Desserts with Gail Simmons.  Tiffany thought he was hot and maybe wanted to sample a piece of his pastry!

 The chefs had to make a pie from scratch, which immediately led to Arnold and Kelly fighting over space.  I’m definitely on Arnold’s side.  That Kelly is a pain in the foot.  It was pretty surprising how many of the cheftestants had never made a pie in their lives—even I’ve made pie before! 

Some stuck with the traditional apple pie, while others were throwing whatever they could find from the fridge into a crust and serving it up like it was normal.  Tapioca pie, Alex, really?  Ed thought it was normal to throw a little celery in with his banana cream.  Freaks.

Tracey had to completely remake her pie because her first one had too much butter in it.  Didn’t matter, she still ended up in the bottom with Ed and his weird celery/banana combo.  On the flip side, Kelly, Stephen, and Kenny were in the top with Kenny taking home the gold.

Elimination Challenge

For some unknown reason, Amanda was babbling about how she had a drug problem in her early 20’s.  Not sure how that’s relevant, but thanks for the info.  Maybe that explains how territorial she is and why she was fighting with Alex over an oven later (Tom got to witness this spectacle of maturity).  Don’t take her oven or her pills.  Check.

The challenge this week was to make a dish for an intern barbeque at Mount Vernon.  There were plenty of inappropriate intern jokes, which would have been hilarious in 1995.

It was nice to see some of the chefs lose their mind, even though it seems a bit early for such behavior.  Tracey’s method of cooking can be a bit unconventional.  She was giving herself pep talks the entire time which mostly involved her repeating “Put your back into it.”  Yep.  Meanwhile, Tiffany was running around the kitchen screaming like a maniac and then complained that no one takes her seriously.

When it came time to light the grill, Arnold had to watch Kenny because he didn’t know how to do it.  He’s adorable.  In a shocking twist of events, Angelo made Asian food—how original.  However, I will give him credit that he admitted that Amanda’s ribs were better than his dish.  That moment of humility was a nice change of pace for him.  He’s still a buttface though.

What I really didn’t understand was what the hell these people were serving as picnic food.  Lentil hummus, Israeli couscous, bacon-wrapped fish?  I must be too small-town for these clowns.

Ed’s personality officially sucks.  I don’t really mind the fact that he finds Alex repulsive (that dude is strange), but his little speech about how he’s already surpassed his father’s career as an executive chef made me want to punch him in the face.  Watch your back, Ed!

Judges’ Table

During the little 30-second segment, it was revealed that Tracey is a clairvoyant.  That’s fun at parties.  Too bad she told Andrea that her husband was going to leave her.  That was a downer.

Bottom:  Tim, Stephen, Tracey, Kevin

Stephen was super confident until he got called out as one of the bottom.  Tim is stressing me out!  His dish wasn’t that bad, only his veggies missed the mark.  Padma said that Kevin made “the safest Puerto Rican food ever.”  Tracey’s sausage patties left much to be desired and Tom went so far as to call them “insulting to Italians.”  Ouch-a-roo.  Everyone will miss out on more fun psychic readings because Tracey was told to pack her knives and go.  Is it just me or do they all look cross-eyed as they exit the kitchen for the last time?

Top:  Arnold, Ed, Amanda, Angelo

Arnold, who said “I’m not a grill guy.  I mean, it’ll clog the pores way too fast” won the grill challenge.  I’m super glad because not only is he amazing, but the other three are turdbuckets.

Quotes of the Week

“Pies live in the clouds with unicorns.  They just appear in a magical way.”-Arnold

“My grandmother isn’t a pastry chef either, but she can make a pie.”-Johnny Iuzzini (I love when the guest judges get sassy)

“I want to eat the ass out of this pig allllll day.”-Alex




Kenny (mostly because I hate Angelo)






Eliminated Chefs





    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)