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Top Ten Craziest Celebrity Breakdowns: Can you take me to Crazy town?
# 10 Winona Ryder
Winona was best known for her acting skills and her relationships until 2001 rolled around and suddenly she was known as that girl who has a whole lot of money but yet likes to shoplifts things. Ryder left the world dumbfounded as to why a rich successful actress would shoplift items from Saks Fifth Avenue. Ryder shoplifted over $5,000 dollars worth of merchandize and was charged with theft and placed on three years of probation. Ryder hasn’t had many successful roles since her shoplifting incident except for her small role in “Black Swan”, which is about crazy females oddly enough. Ryder continues to lay low and hopefully she remains under the radar but just in case all major department stores should keep their security camera pointed directly on her at all times.
# 9 Mariah Carrey
Many people have forgotten about Mariah Carrey’s mini break down in 2001, but not everyone. At the time of her breakdown Carrey had another hit song out, had just released a new movie called Glitter (which would provide laughs for years to come and NO IT WASN’T A COMEDY), and made an appearance on TRL (Total Request Live) half naked handing out popsicles and rambling on about unicorns and rainbows. Soon after Carrey’s mental breakdown on live TV she was shipped off to a mental facility after she violently began throwing plates. Carrey blames her breakdown on exhaustion. I think she needs to make sure she schedules a nap for the midafternoon for now on.
# 8 Mel Gibson
Gibson used to be Hollywood’s golden boy. He had the looks and the acting chops to go with those baby blues, but soon scary racist slurs starting getting yelled and shouted out of Mel’s once handsome mouth. Soon Mel Gibson was offending most religions with his verbal ranting. He was accused of knocking his girlfriend’s teeth out while she was holding their young daughter, and he was convicted of battery and driving while under the influence. Gibson faced three years of probation and now after three years of probation has officially had his convictions erased from his records following his completion of community service.
# 7 Paula Abdul
Miss Abdul seemed to be making her great comeback when she became a judge on the singing contest “American Idol”. However, soon after filming began for the competition it became evident that Abdul was more than quirky, she was downright completely out of her mind most of the time. People started wondering what was really in that coke glass that sat in front of her on the judging table. Paula began appearing on talk shows coming in and out of clarity and it was obvious to the world that she was dealing with some type of mental breakdown or drug abuse. After a few slurred interviews and years of strange behavior Abdul finally admitted to abusing pain drugs and finally the world knew what it had known for the last few years. Even Grandma Betsy knew Abdul was on the crazy juice. However, now Abdul is out of the limelight and she seems sane enough. I think for Abdul’s sake it is best that she remains out of the media.
# 6 Tom Cruise
Tom Cruise seemed like he would go down in history as one of the century’s greatest action hero actors. However, when Tom divorced Nicole Kidman he then began doing crazy things like jumping up and down on couches professing his love for Katie Holmes, going down on bended knee while being interviewed by Oprah, and fist pumping enthusiastically all because he was in love. Not long after the strange overly excited and happy interview with Oprah, Tom soon chimed in with his own opinion on Brooke Shields taking antidepressants after she had her baby. Tom believed that through Scientology postpartum depression could be overcome with the mind. Tom joined Matt Lauer on the Today Show and entered into an argument accusing Lauer of being glib and insisting there is no such thing as chemical imbalances in the brain and that all mental illness can be healed by the use of vitamins and exercise. Soon after Tom’s strange behavior his movie career went down the crapper and his wife Katie Holmes created an elaborate plan to escape Tom and the Church of Scientology’s tight grip over her and her daughter. Tom may be on the upswing of things now but only time will tell. Rumor has it that Tom is in search of a nice Scientology girl, if you fit the bill you should apply to be Tom Cruise’s next girlfriend.
# 5 Courtney Love
As I sit here typing I find myself trying to think of a time when Courtney Love wasn’t a trainwreck…… I’m at a loss. Was there ever a time she wasn’t a nutjob? I think this is the first celebrity that I cannot think of one coherent moment of clarity in a person’s life. Courtney love has battled with her demons for years, especially since Nirvana lead singer, Kurt Cobain committed suicide. She has been arrested for drug use, has broken into private property, and failed to appear in court to gain custody of her daughter Francis. She has overdosed on Oxycotin and her daughter was taken away from her by social services. When Courtney had Francis, social services investigated Courtney and Kurt due to Courtney’s statements in a magazine saying that she had taken drugs while pregnant with Francis. Francis and Courtney are on the outs and Love has been laying low. Hopefully she is getting her act together and will someday repair her relationship with her daughter.
# 4 Charlie Sheen
To list all of Charlie Sheen’s crazy moments I would have to write a thesis. So I’ll keep it down to the basics. Charlie has five children and one grandchild. He has been married three times. So that means Charlie was sane enough at least three different moments in his life, well at least sane enough to trick a female into marrying him. Brooke Mueller, Charlie’s third wife accused Sheen of attacking her in Colorado. However, Charlie has been in much more trouble than just domestic abuse. Charlie has been to rehab for drugs, testified that he paid $2,500 each for 27 high end prostitutes (which adds to about $50,000), was arrested for domestic abuse, lost custody of his children, lost his job on a high performing sitcom because he talked poorly of the creator, and has referred to himself as of a different constitution and states that he has tiger blood running through his veins. I wonder if Tigers like drugs and high end call girls too.
# 3 Amanda Bynes
A lot of people thought Bynes was going to be one of the few child stars that would transition into adulthood without incident. Wow! THEY WERE WAY WRONG. Amanda Bynes went a special kind of crazy in 2013. Amanda started her crazy downward spiral by first receiving a DUI and then crashed her car into two different people within weeks. Soon Bynes was taking mug shots with pink hair and begging the President of the United States to fire the mean cops who were picking on her. Not long after her little request to the President she shaved her head like a certain other crazy we know and began tweeting irrational things about people being ugly and what she would like Drake to her “intimate areas”. I believe the words she used were she wanted Drake to murder her umm “flower”. I’m not exactly sure what that would be like but Bynes made it sound like a lot of fun. Soon Bynes was throwing bongs out her window and she soon landed in court with the worst hair day anyone has ever had in the last century. Does it still count as a bad hair day if the hair was actually a wig???
For now Amanda seems to be on the upswing and is now under a conservatorship. Amanda has been attending fashion school and staying out of the limelight. Hopefully, Amanda will be able to make an epic comeback like another hair shaving nutty.
# 2 Lindsay Lohan
Lohan was a talented child actor, Disney darling, teen dream, and then suddenly something went very wrong. The beautiful and talented Lindsay turned into our most arrested young lady of 2007. It all began with a DUI, then another DUI, followed by a misdemeanor of cocaine use, to a short jail stay, to paying a $50,000 warrant for her arrest, to a $100,000 set bail, back to a few more drugs charges (too many to mention because I am getting bored), then followed by hit and runs and of course throw in some stolen merchandise and you have the saga that has been Lindsay Lohan’s life. I’m exhausted just writing about all of her drug charges, how does anyone keep up with her misdemeanors and probations. Lindsay has recently been spiraling into debt but has been helped out by fellow Hollywood pals, one being our own tiger blood guy pal, Mr. Charlie Sheen, and the other being Oprah. Oprah gave Lindsay a big pay out to allow cameras to follow her and to film a docuseries about her life. The only thing I gained out of the docuseries is that while in rehab Lindsay wrote a note listing all of her male conquests and it seems like half of Hollywood knows if she is truly a natural red head.
# 1 Britney Spears (The Original Crazy)
February 17, 2007 a night for the record books. Britney Spears walks into a salon and demands that the hair stylists shave her head. When the stylists refused, Britney instead picks up the trimmers and shaves her own head with a big smile on her face, while paparazzi look on. Not long after the head shaving incident, Spears is photographed attacking photographers with an umbrella. After a few more spacey nights, flashing her “flower” in public, and locking herself in a bathroom with one of her sons. In the end, Spears ultimately lost custody of her sons, and was wheeled out of her home on a gurney, and placed in a psychiatric ward. Britney lost control of herself and her life and now her Daddy has to make all of her career and life decisions because she is under a conservatorship.
However, big props to Britney for making a major comeback with a new show in Vegas and lots of brand new number one hits. Too bad Britney still can’t sing live. Her lip synching skills are getting much better now and she seems lucid most of the time.