ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Twilight, in Retrospect

Updated on March 9, 2009

"Both Rowling and Meyer, they’re speaking directly to young people. ... The real difference is that Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and Stephenie Meyer can’t write worth a darn. She’s not very good." - Stephen Kings

I remember watching Twilight with a friend who predicted my reaction. She was on the ball: I had tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. Laughter was my only reaction to the absurdity before my eyes. I always knew films were manufactured for the audience, but Twilight is special.

Wow. Just wow. (Note: They only show female t-shirts by default.)
Wow. Just wow. (Note: They only show female t-shirts by default.)
Creepy or Romantic? You decide. (Actual shirt that can be found in Hot Topic.)
Creepy or Romantic? You decide. (Actual shirt that can be found in Hot Topic.)

Book to Movie

The movie industry seems to be running out of good screenwriters, or the producers are on too much drugs to realize what creativity is. (Oy! Wake up - films are art forms!) The decision to produce the Twilight movie is a prime example of the void in artistic vision in mainstream media.

Hollywood now has a vacuum of writers who write new material. Instead, they took the Twilight book series that was popular with young adults (read: people who watch a lot of movies) and adapted it to a screen play. Usually I have no problem with adapting books into movies, but in this case, I almost feel pity for the writers who adapted it to the film version - how low must a creative writer debase him/herself to bring Twilight to the cinema for the sake of money? But then again, I said “almost,” I feel absolutely no remorse for my harsh criticism since they are playing the game of money just fine.

The screenplay adaptation was much less than spectacular and I hope that the author of the original work won’t laugh/cringe as much as I had in the theatre.

Acting

I give props to the actors for keeping a straight face while saying the most cheesy and manufactured lines I’ve heard since Cheetos. The female lead actress Kristen Stewart managed to bring life into a fairly flat and static character. Robert Pattinson played the stereotypical vampire, handsome and strong. Pattinson gets the most respect from me for keeping a straight face while saying, “Get away from me, I don’t want to hurt you.”

With such stereotypical roles - vampires and teenagers - I find it unfair to judge the actors on this work. Imagine if you asked Michelangelo to paint a masterpiece with only cigarette butts! Of course the masterpiece would be only black and white. So in reality, we only see what the director wants the actors to portray.

Oh noz, plz stayz away from me! I haz appetite 4 u.
Oh noz, plz stayz away from me! I haz appetite 4 u.

Story

Certainly, the book series had more depth than this movie, but the screenplay adaptors took bits and pieces of the stories and made a Frankenstein-esque monstrosity. They dared to take all the good parts of the novels out and kept only the fluff. The screenplay turned all the dynamic and dramatic characters into predictable and shallow shadows.

The most fitting description I can give to the chopped up story (this movie is only one of the books) is that the Twilight movie is a butchered version of Beauty and the Beast, where they took out the good bits and threw in every imaginable stereotype.

Perhaps the screenplay writers wanted to make a statement of how they’re not proud of themselves for doing what they did, but they’ve got kids to feed.

Conclusion

At the first five to fifteen minutes, I wanted to choke myself with the popcorn till I pass out because it was slightly faster than walking out of the theatre. But Twilight such a terrible movie it was entertaining to watch. Twilight went full spectrum from a good novel into the abyss of terrible movie and back to ironically amusing. I laughed at the director. I laughed at the fact that the actors had to keep a straight face while saying the ridiculously manufactured lines. I laughed so hard I felt better and more healthy. Maybe my skin will glisten too.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)