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The Ultimate Zombie Killing Crew

Updated on January 13, 2017

The Ultimate Zombie Killing Crew

Zombies are still all the rage in entertainment.

I think they have lasted longer than the Vampires did in movies and TV.
And we have had some blockbuster Zombie movies like World War Z, Zombieland, Resident Evil: Afterlife, Dawn of the Dead and 28 Days Later.
Heck, just the Resident Evil film series by itself has grossed over $915 million worldwide.
And World War Z just by itself grossed over over $540 million.
Not to mention the fact that The Walking Dead is a cultural phenomena on TV.

But all the movies and TV shows are pretty much the same aren't they?
A rag-tag group tries their best not to get killed by roaming hoards of walkers while trying to find some (usually mythical) safe haven.
But what if you could make a movie that changed all that?
What if you could take characters from different movies and TV shows and for once, put the zombies on the run?
What if you took the best of the best zombie killers and gathered them all together, like an Anti-Zombie version of The Avengers or the Justice League?

With that in mind, I have assembled my ultimate group of zombie killers that would bump back against the things that go bump in the night...The Ultimate Zombie Killing Crew.

Ash Williams and his "Boomstick"
Ash Williams and his "Boomstick"

1. Ash Williams (The Evil Dead movies)

Armed with his chainsaw hand, "boomstick" and bad attitude, Ash would lead the group and put the living dead in their place...back in the ground.
Bruce Campbell of course brought Ash to life and would still be the only man to get the job done.
He battled the "Deadites" (and they are like zombies hopped up on steroids) through three Evil Dead films.
“Hail to the king baby”.

Ash Williams - Hail to the King Baby....

Tallahassee (Zombieland)
Tallahassee (Zombieland)

2. Tallahassee (Zombieland)

This Twinkie seeking Zombie slayer from the film “Zombieland” would probably be Ash's Right Hand Man (LOL) and be more than a match for the zombies.
Woody Harrelson was Tallahassee in Zombieland and his laid back zombie slaying style would be a great contrast with Ash.
“My mama always told me someday I'd be good at something. Who'd a guessed that something'd be zombie-killing?”

Daryl Dixon - The Walking Dead
Daryl Dixon - The Walking Dead

3. Daryl Dixon (The Walking Dead TV Show)

If Tallahassee and Ash miss a zombie, this crossbow toting redneck will be more than happy to pick up their slack.
You KNOW this guy had to be here.
If for nothing else, just for the Norman Reedus fan club out there.
“Shoot me again? You best pray I'm dead.”

Alice (The Resident Evil series)
Alice (The Resident Evil series)

4. Alice (The Resident Evil series)

With her superhuman abilities, marksmanship and martial arts, the guys might even back away from her in a fight.
Milla Jovovich put Alice squarely in the "Beautiful But Deadly" range in the “Resident Evil” films.
“I don't blame them, people have a habit of dying around me”

Cherry Darling (Planet Terror)
Cherry Darling (Planet Terror)

5. Cherry Darling (Planet Terror)

Cherry is all woman...except for her M4 Carbine (with a grenade launcher) leg, the ladies get another zombie slayer.
Of course she can also attach that M134 Minigun if things get rough.
Rose McGowan needs a big break in films and would be a perfect compliment to Alice, forming a beautiful female deadly duo.
“I don't suppose anyone else here is a bio-chemical engineer?”

Columbus (Zombieland)
Columbus (Zombieland)

6. Columbus (Zombieland)

Yeah he's a little goofy at times, but Columbus was trained by Tallahassee, so he has potential.
It would be cool to see the others reaction to what appears to be a bumbling Jesse Eisenberg taking out the undead about as well as anyone else in the group.
“The first rule of Zombieland: Cardio. When the zombie outbreak first hit, the first to go, for obvious reasons... were the fatties”

Ron Perlman as Hellboy (The Hellboy movies)
Ron Perlman as Hellboy (The Hellboy movies)

7. Hellboy (The Hellboy movies)

Armed with the Good Samaritan and his Right Hand of Doom, this six foot eleven, 396 pound slayer of the supernatural would provide more than enough muscle for the group.
And Hellboy is most likely immune to zombie bites even if one got to him.
Oh yeah...Ron Perlman.
Really I don’t need to say anything else.
But the interplay between this "demon" in the group and the others might just be worth the price of a ticket by itself.
"Didn't I kill you already?"

So there.
Knowing that this "Magnificent Seven" is out there somewhere in the night, you should be able to sleep well.
At least better...

So How Would It Go?

So how would "The Ultimate Zombie Killing Crew" do in a movie?

See results

The Evil Dead at Amazon


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