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Under The Dome -- The Incredible Shrinking Dome

Updated on September 22, 2014

Yep, now the Dome is shrinking

As we saw at the end of last week the Dome is shrinking. What's even more incredible than that is how green the grass is after the record freeze the night before. There's not one bit of evidence of frost damage. But then this show doesn't really do realism, so there's really no reason there would be.

I think I want practically every character on this show to buy the farm. The latest on my hit list is Barbie fan boy Joe. Every time he starts shaking his Barbie pom-poms I want to hit him in the head with a bat. Oh, Barbie has a plan. Oh, Barbie will know what to do. Oh, Barbie's a murdering thug you idiot so shut up!

I don't really think I've ever seen a show with as many unlikable characters as this show has.They all have the personality of fingernails down a chalkboard. I think of all the characters, I actually like Sam I Am and Genocide Queen Rebecca. I don't why, but Big Jim reminds me of a little bantam roosters in a shirt two sizes too small. Seriously, he looks like he's stuffed in it and the buttons are just going to pop if her sticks out his chest a little too much.

Anyway, everyone was trying to grab important keepsakes as the Incredible Shrinking Dome kept shrinking and destroying homes in its wake. Probably the most hilarious moment was Julia grabbing a picture of her dead husband. It's really a little late for this show to try and pretend she gives a crap about her dead husband after knocking boots with her dead husband's killer in her dead husband's bed.

Our little Monarch gets into a boob measuring contest with the Genocide Queen over science vs. faith. But she begins to loose a little of her arrogant belief in faith when she goes to offer herself to the Dome if it'll stop shrinking and killing people. And what is it's answer? To shrink just a little bit more.

Meanwhile, Barbie learns Hunter's a mole and in the Glorified Thug's usual manner he starts pushing him around and roughing him up. He takes him to the outer edge of the Dome as Barbie fan boy, Joe, is shaking him pom-poms for Barbie the Great knowing he'll just save the day.

Barbie tells Big Bad Daddy Barbie that Dead Lake Chick is alive, and apparently saving his son means squat to Big Bad Daddy Barbie, but hearing his illegitimate by-blow Dead Lake Chick is alive makes him agree to stop the military from messing with the egg and return it, only the military aren't going to let him, so it makes it seem Big Bad Daddy Barbie was shining on Barbie, again.

Meanwhile the fight to save Dead Lake Chick continues. Big Jim gets Crazy Pauline to paint again, while Rebecca gives her a blood transfusion that seems to perk her up a bit. Then Pauline says she knows what just to do. First the old Four Hands and new Four Hands reunite to lay hands on Dead Lake Chick. And then Pauline says she knows just what to do and has Dead Lake Chick taken out to the spot when she croaked many moons ago, I think. Only something goes wrong and Dead Lake Chick gets sucked into the ground and vanishes.

And things go for bad to worse when Pauline realizes the blood she saw dripping was her own and Lyle pulls a sneak attack and stabs her in the back while Pauline and Big Jim are giving each other a tongue bath. Then Big Jim goes psycho on Lyle and kills him, making Lyle happy, as he feels he and Pauline will be together forever now.

And where is Junior while his mother is laying on the ground bleeding out? Why he's mourning the loss of his new insta dead love interest. So much for all his whining about his not dead Mama who may actually be dead now or not judging by previews for the finale.

Anyway, the Dome seems to stop shrinking, but who knows what new disaster will strike it in the finale. Although the disaster seems to be Big Jim, himself, whose going to go psycho all over everyone if the Dome takes Pauline from him.

I honestly try with good intentions to write this recap up faster than an hour before the new show is about to air, but I never seem to be able to manage it. I have to honestly say this may be the worst show I've ever watched. All the characters have no redeeming qualities and you almost root for them all to be snuffed. That's kind of where I'm at at the moment.

From the previews it also seems there's going to be some attempt at a mass exodus out of Chester's Mill. I imagine they'll all be popping up in Zenith. But then what? This isn't, unfortunately, the series finale. The show runners say they want three more seasons out of this show. So if there is a mass exodus from Chester's Mill maybe a new and bigger Dome will come down over Zenith. It seems like the only way this can keep going if they actually make it out of Chester's Mill.

Anyway, the finale will air in an hour. I wonder if there's any hope that at least Julia or Barbie will bite the dust in it? Yeah, if I could choose someone to die it would be one or both of them. The way the characters genuflect to those two morons is irritating and of all the characters, those are the two I'd love to see go most. Now that we've got eye candy in the form of Sam I Am, Barbie is kind of expendable.


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