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Under The Dome -- There's No Earthly Way Of Knowing

Updated on September 1, 2014

Which Direction We Are Going

That's from the movie Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Willie Wonka starts singing that when he takes his visitors on a scary boat ride as one little girls asks if this is a freak-out, which always cracks me out. Here's the whole thing:

There's no earthly way of knowing.

Which direction they are going.

There's no knowing where they're rowing.

Or which way the river's flowing.

Not a speck of light is showing.

So the danger must be growing.

And they're certainly not showing.

Any signs that they are slowing.

There's a moment as each escapee from the Dome gets mind-zapped in this underground tunnel that it reminded me of that scene from Willie Wonka.

Anyway, the way they're taking this thing, I don't think they're going to be able to explain it. In fact, the book explanation which a lot hated is starting to look better and better. So if this series has done anything it's making the book look better.

The mystery door that Pauline, Sam I Am and Lyle are searching for is actually located on the Barbie property. It's the door to an old root cellar and when it was painted, Melanie got Baby Barbie to put his hand print on it in paint. So Melanie just knew that was an important thing for Baby Barbie to do even before she came to Chester's Mill and found the mystical Pink Stars Are Falling egg and met her maker.

To recap it all began with the original Four Hands [Pauline, Lyle, Sam I Am and Melanie], but even before that Melanie got Baby Barbie to put his hand print on the door to the root cellar that would lead to a mind warp that would take you to Chester's Mill. And it was Melanie's locker that leads to the hole in the ground way down down down that leads to Zenith. The mystical Pink Stars Are Falling egg also brought Melanie back from the dead, even though she and the egg were buried in a hole. And then you've got Pauline and her psychic Dome visions. There really doesn't seem to be a way that this is going to be explained. Considering their making Barbie such an integral part of this thing they should have made him the monarch instead of Bed Mattress Julia.

Barbie gets dragged away from Bed Mattress Julia and is interrogated by the fake military who are really working for Big Bad Daddy Barbie. I know it was wrong, but I got a vicarious thrill over seeing someone beating the glorified thug for a change, instead of him beating up someone whose either sick or trying to help his sorry butt. Big Bad Daddy Barbie pretends to be on sonny boy's side, but doesn't get anywhere with sonny boy. But he does with sonny's boy's bed mattress.

Dead Lake Chick sees Bed Mattress Julia looks like she give up the egg for Barbie and she's having none of that. The mystical Pink Stars Falling egg must be protected. So she gets Junior to help her steal it from the pathetic lovesick redhead. They decide to hide it down in Junior's Chamber of Love aka Big Jim's bomb shelter. When Melanie asks Junior to join her on the bunk and sleep with her I can't help but get some flashbacks of him and Angie Baby in Junior's Chamber of Love aka Angie Baby's Prison.

Meanwhile in Zenith Psychic Pauline, Looney Lyle and Sam I Am meet up with Barbie and they team up to go into the root cellar on Big Bad Daddy Barbie's estate. Let's just say the Glorified Thug isn't happy that Sam I Am is alive and unharmed. He quickly rats Sam I Am out to Pauline for killing Angie Baby. Sam I Am declares he wants to make things right. Yeah, I can see how well that's going to go down. "Hey, Junior, sorry I murdered your Angie Baby. Who loves ya baby?" Of course, Junior may be in a more forgiving mood as he's now spooning with the love of Sam I Am's life.

Anyway, they quickly find a tunnel that was never there before and go through it. After each of them experience some mind melding flashback they all end up in the Lake of the Returning Dead. Well, all except Lyle. Pauline rushes out of the water determined to find her baby boy. To that end she actually goes home looking for him, not thinking to look down in Junior's Chamber of Love. And who should run smack dab into her but Big Jim. Hi, honey, I'm home.

It's going to be really hard to watch if Sam I Am is tarred and feathered for killing Angie Baby, when the Genocide Queen, Rebecca, who looked at a baby as something to be weeded out, barely got a slap on the wrist. I know all the fan boys that went into deep mourning because there Angie Baby was no more want to eviscerate Sam I Am, but to be honest I was thrilled when Angie Baby was killed. The character was beyond annoying.

I also find Bed Mattress Julia knowing there's a way out of the Dome thinks it's better for everyone to remain trapped instead of the Dome instead of jumping through the time warp and going to Zenith. Seriously, what is so bad about Zenith? Again, is there another Dome surrounding Zenith so once you got there you couldn't leave? Sure, they have cameras at the spot where you time warp out of the Dome and into Zenith, but other than that none of the escapees even tried to leave Zenith.

And that's another thing. Why would Pauline fake her death to go live in the hometown of Melanie the girl she helped to bury. Wouldn't living there be a constant reminder of what you did? There's just too many so-called coincidences to even make this believable. It's why I think if this show doesn't get cancelled, first, there will never be a satisfying answer explaining everything. In short, the one thing the series has been good for is making to book look better than it was.


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