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Under The Dome -- This Is Another Fine Mess You've Gotten Us Into [slaps bald head with hat]

Updated on September 5, 2014

The Egg and I

That's a famous line from the old Laurel and Hardy movies. Laurel would do something that would land him and Hardy into trouble and Hardy would hit him on the head for getting them in trouble again. And that line seems to fit this episode as Big Jim pulls a big Stan Laurel move.

If this episode was about anything it was the egg and everyone's relationship with it. Dead Lake Chick seems to be most devoted to it, as Barbie shined her on to get her to give it up to him. The egg chose a bad monarch as Bed Mattress Julia would probably sell out anyone and everyone to keep Glorified Thug Barbie in her love sack. Big Jim has no problem using it to save his family, not really getting how important the egg is to the grand scheme of things. And the one the egg seems to be most connected to iis Crazy Pauline as it's giving her intense head pain while filling her head with visions she turns into her child-like bad paintings.

Strangely enough, the one I came to feel bad for in this whole mess of morally corrupt people is Big Jim, the guy we're all supposed to hate the most. He obviously really loved his trifling not-dead wife and they had a real relationship opposed to the bad joke relationship of Bed Mattress Julia and Glorified Thug Barbie. He was even willing to forgive her for pretending to be dead for the last nine years. But he's totally unaware she's just back to make a snatch-and-grab of their son and then leave him high and dry. For some unknown reason the death faker is getting a total free pass for what she's done and being treated like a plaster saint or something. I have to say that all four of the original four hands seem nuts.

Junior had a real dead day. First he gets kissed by a dead teen that was back from the dead. Then his dead ex-girlfriend, was haunting him and his not-dead mommy was telling him how they were going to screw over his almost dead daddy.

After Junior and Dead Lake Chick finished their nap in Junior's Chamber of Love, she said she needed to head back to Bed Mattress Julia's in case she was worried about her. Before leaving she impulsively kissed Junior. Before Junior can figure out how he feels about that, look who's standing behind him with a judgmental look on her face. It's DOme Angie Baby no doubt projected by the egg. She asks if Junior knows what he's doing. Not sure if she meant by kissing Dead Lake Chick or stealing the egg from the great monarch Bed Mattress Julia. You'd think the egg would be happy they're protecting it from the chosen monarch as she'll trade it in a second for her Glorified Thug.

Then Junior goes in the house and sees his Not-Dead Crazy Mama who tells him she's come back to save him and is conning Big Jim into thinking they'll be a family again and plans to leave him high-and-dry. Strangely enough, Junior doesn't seem all that happy to see Not-Dead Crazy Mama. He's more excited to learn his Not-Dead Uncle Sam I Am is back, too. He can finally avenge Dead Angie Baby.

Meanwhile Not-Dead Sam I Am runs into Dead Lake Chick and tells her how sorry he is and vows he's not the one who killed her. The scene had kind of a skeevy feel. Yeah, technically they're both the same age, but she's still a teen and seeing a grown man haunching on a teen is just too icky for words. Of course, it could get even more skeevy if this show goes for some love triangle between Sam I Am, Dead Lake Chick, and Junior.

Things go less pleasantly when Junior and Uncle Sam I Am are reunited. Junior beats his face to a pulp and is about to kill him when Dome Angie Baby tells him he can't kill Sam I Am, as the Dome still has a use for him. Apparently, it's as a doctor. Well, guess what, Dome? If you hadn't killed Norrie's mother you'd have a qualified doctor around and one that wasn't an axe murderer.

Dome Angie Baby pulls her trump card declaring Junior never really loved her. No, Dome Angie Baby, it's Dead Angie Baby that never loved Junior. Anyway, Junior spares Sam I Am to prove he really did love Dead Angie Baby.

Back at Big Jim's Not-Dead Crazy Mama is crazily producing another of her bad painting, while holding her head from the pain the egg is giving her and saying it's all over for them. Then she snarls at Big Jim that he doesn't believe her, as usual. Big Jim locks the loon inside her Studio of Insanity then hears the egg making it's noise. He finds it in Junior's Chamber of Love and tries to pick it up, but it zaps him, only not hard enough to kill him.

Then the teen twits, Joe and Norrie show up. After using Dome newbie Hunter to help them find the egg, so they can apparently give it back to Bed Mattress Julia so she can give it to Big Bad Daddy Barbie. Joe is too much of a Bed Mattress and Glorified Thug fan boy that he never thinks if they're doing the right thing.

Big Jim pulls a gun on the two twits and forces them to carry the egg to go to the hole in the ground way down down down. And this is when he pulls his Stan Laurel move by knocking the egg out of Norrie's hand and making it fall into the abyss.

Seriously, just how dumb is Big Jim, anyway. They won't let all of Chester's Mill escape to safety for the egg and only agreed to let Jim and Junior come, but that's if they have the egg with them when they come. So does he really think they'll keep their word now they have the egg.

But maybe they don't have it, as the hole in the ground that goes way down down down is no more. There's just rocks there now, and their way to escape the Dome has been blocked forever. Then the ground starts to rumble and Hunter has to help Norrie up.

Frankly, he should have let both her and Joe rot down there. They used him for his help to find the egg and then they wouldn't let him come cause they didn't trust him. Only topped by him trying to help Barbie and the Glorified Thug roughing him up. Dude, stop helping these cretins and let them fend for themselves.

Over at Bed Mattress Julia's house Barbie does some math and figures out that Dead Lake Chick is actually his big dead illegitimate sister. He gives her a snow job about how our daddy will love you if you give him the egg. Anything to get what you want, right Barbie? That was only topped by Bed Mattress declaring that let Big Jim take the egg so neither of them had to put themselves at risk. And we're supposed to buy these two amoral slobs as the hero and heroine of the show. Guess again.

Of course, when the egg gets tossed Dead Lake Chick keels over. Glorified Thug and Bed Mattress rush her to Sam I Am to make her better while Junior declares that this is why Sam I Am was spared. I seriously feel like showing these mental morons some flashcards. Let's see, kiddies. The egg resurrected Dead Lake Chick and now the egg is gone, so what does logic say will happen next? That Dead Lake Chick will go back to being dead.

The episode had one mortality. When the earth started rumbling, Phil escaped from jail and went down to the hole that goes way way down and jumped. And ended up impaled on some stalactite. Bye-bye, Phil.

While all this drama is going on, Genocide Queen Rebecca has noticed how cold it's getting inside the Dome. So it looks like the next environmental disaster has struck. Only now that Big Jim has destroyed the only route of escape, will all of Chester's Mill freeze to death? One can only hope.


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