Video Rewind: And They Call These "Christmas Classics?"
When It's a Wonderful Life hit the big screen it bombed at the box office. To this day, I haven't watched it, since it used to be on a different channel EVERY day throughout December. Maybe that's when it became a beloved movie.
Then came A Christmas Story and National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (aka Christmas Vacation).
Excuse me while I throw up, but are these two movies Christmas classics? Those with a low IQ seem to think so, but in my opinion the answer is a resounding no.
For the first time in years I had the opportunity to watch both alone. Did I illicit a laugh or smirk? No. Did I find a way to leave the room? Yes. Actually I found many excuses to leave the room.
In both, the main characters want something. Ralphie wants his Red Ryder BB gun and Clark wants his Christmas bonus. And to make these "comedies" they have to find a way to get what they want. Thus hilarity ensues!
The one thing I do like about A Christmas Story (aside from the ending) is it reminds me of when I was little. There always seemed to be snow on the ground plus the annual pilgrimage to visit Santa at the store. Although I don't think Santa's elves were as cranky as they are in the movie.
If you're smart, you know never to stick your tongue on a metal pole in sub zero weather. Okay, maybe you've tried it on the metal in your freezer but I'm sure you learned you lesson, right?
The narration from Daniel M. Pinkwater is very annoying as are the fantasies Ralphie keeps having.
But when it comes to Christmas Vacation (which was supposed to be the best Vacation movie) the whole thing is just plain annoying. I even tried watching it with the commentaries from some of the cast and crew and even that was annoying!
If you've never seen this movie you're lucky.
Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase) wants a big family Christmas complete with in-laws. What he doesn't realize is Ellen's cousin Katherine and husband Eddie (Miriam Flynn and Randy Quaid) have arrived uninvited and with their kids in tow.
With a host of people staying in the house (and a battered RV in the driveway) something's bound to happen. Whether its the Christmas tree exploding, a cat getting electrocuted or a squirrel holding everyone hostage, the movie can't get any worse than it is.
Since I haven't had cable since 1994, I'm not sure which of these "classics" will be shown continuously for 24 hours starting on Christmas Eve and then wrapping up the next day.
My advice for a good laugh is to watch Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. At least it's a campy cult classic and it's easy to insert your own dialogue once you've had one too many eggnogs.