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What The World Would Be Like If Green Tea Didn't Exist

Updated on November 20, 2015

Green tea has become a buzz word for one of those it-can-do-everything plants. Here is my comical attempt at figuring out what a world would be like if green tea didn't exist.

The Promise of Health and Wellbeing

Green Tea
Green Tea | Source

I drink green tea, therefore I am

The web is full of the positive effects and benefits of green tea on our health and wellbeing. I do not attempt to argue against nor justify any of its claims, but I am intrigued by the manifold applications. Let me show you what the world must be like without green tea in our lives!

Learn about green tea first and its alleged advantages

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1. We would all be fat !

Wait, most of us are rather fat. Well, the Asian community for sure would be fatter!

Green tea is said to support weight loss, improve cholesterol (the bad or the good one xD?), and help with diabetes.

2. The world would be more peaceful and productive!

Peaceful = productive? Hard to imagine, but with green tea both increasing AND decreasing blood pressure, anything is possible. Quite the balancer.

3. Our teeth were rotten!

Those kings and queens had better discovered the green tea and its benefits faster! We would stroll through castles looking at kings and queens with teeth smile pictures.

4. There would only be wrinkly people on earth!

One of the biggest questions on green tea earth: Are the Asian girls so cute because they go GREEN?! Not talking about hot Asian men in their 50ies...

5. The world would be so sad!

When life is going wrong,
when stress engulfs you, when tears flow down your eyes,
just give me a call:
because I sell tissue papers!

Oh wait, depression is actually about being pathologically demotivated, never mind. Still green tea apparently can alleviate the symptoms!

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6. My grandma wouldn't remember where her keys were!

Just give your old folks some green tea and they can start recounting again all those shameful and embarrassing moments of your childhood to all your friends and your new date. Wanna start the war against green tea?

7. Our taste buds would be sad, too!

Ever heard of green tea ice cream, green tea latte, green tea cupcake, green tea KitKat, and most of all GREEN TEA OREOS?!

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8. No More Milk Mistakes!

Geez, those Brits and their milk in tea. Go back a page to Black Tea. Btw, Bubble Tea is neither green nor black just bubble!

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What kind of green tea believer are you?

I think green tea helps me ...

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