What it Would Be Like for Me to Be a Re-created into a Comic Book Guy

11 p.m., (cdst), Sept. 22

I was just sitting in my living room on above date, and before I could doze-off, Joanna Cameron, popped into my mind. Who? You ask. Who is this Joanna Cameron? She was the woman who played the super-heroine in the Egyptian-based Saturday morning kids’ show, “The Secrets of ISIS,” not to be confused with the low-life murderers masquerading as terrorists IsIs, who beheaded innocent Americans and broadcast their infidel act on television. As I speak, these murdering-heathen are under air strikes ordered by President Obama.

Cameron played American high school teacher/explorer, “Andrea Thomas,” which we all knew was her well-guarded secret identity. “Thomas,” was busy exploring the tomb of Egyptian goddess Isis, and came out with a magical amulet that she wore around her neck. When problems arose that a mere mortal could not solve, she turned into (a variation of) “ISIS,” and boom! Evil was once again defeated and good was once restored.

“The Secrets of ISIS,” ran from Sept. 6, 1975 to Sept. 3, 1976, and it was not until I looked up Joanna Cameron that I realized that she easily-defined the term: gorgeous lady.

Now that we are all grown-up, doesn’t “ISIS’” sound a tad too-much like “Diana Prince,” “Wonder Woman,” and her Amazon past? I think it coincidence, but who cares? I still think that Lynda Carter will always be “Wonder Woman,” and also be equally-gorgeous as Joanna Cameron.

"Supergirl enters my youth

Of course, when I was a boy, DC Comics introduced me to “Supergirl,” and her secret identity, “Linda Davers.” There was just “something” about her pretty comic book blond hair flowing in the wind as she flew at super-speed to capture the always-bumbling convicts of her day. God Himself only knows how much “I” loved “Supergirl.”

I confess this shameful secret of my youth: I would sneak away from my nervous grandparents who were burdened with keeping me when school was out (due to my parents having to work), and pretend to be in deep-trouble and mumble “Helllp, Supergirl! I need your help . . .now!” I stayed in deep-trouble because my lovely blond heroine never showed. And my grandpa, James Avery, rest his soul, would chew my butt out for digging myself into a hole in the ground to create my “trouble.” He was not angry at me for getting as dirty as a pig, but leaving him to explain to my parents why I did this “on his watch.” Oh, the things that boys do when they are in-love.

I guess I had forgotten that “Supergirl,” was endowed with super-vision and could see for miles and she knew that I was conning her. (Sarcasm here) “Gee thanks, DC Comics for robbing me of a few moments of pre-teen pleasure.”

All in all, still on above date, I found 11- total female heroes (see blue textbook in this hub) and all simply gorgeous. Honestly, I cannot choose the “one” who is my favorite super heroine, but I do have this healthy respect for all of these crime-fighting ladies even though they are not real and only exist in (a) “Comic Book Universe,” that stands in my heart that I used to escape from reality.

The suspense grows

During my fascination with these “super ladies,” it dawned on me how wonderful it would be to be created by either DC or MARVEL Comics as a regular guy who acts as just one of these heroines’ humble sidekick who does know their secret identity, but will be shot before he tells who she really is.

Therein lies the problem. Not as much for me, but for the editors, writer’s, and artists who work for these “comic book giants,” that are as popular as any Sports Illustrated. Their problem: Creating me into a believable character. There was “Jimmy Olsen,” photographer for the Daily Planet and pal of “Superman,” “Alfred,” the butler, or was it, ‘bat butler,” for Batman, to name two.

Actually, I wouldn’t care that much what my name was, except it would not be in the feminine-sense such as: Marion; Louise; or Jody. I had much-rather have a name like: Lance, J.D. or maybe a Derick who worked as a seriously-talented biological scientist whose talents are many times needed by the “one” gorgeous super-lady who trusted me with every secret and kept me as her best friend. Ahh, to be sitting quietly talking with “Diana Prince,” in her penthouse guarded with sophisticated security systems. What a great dream.

But then one day, something painful and sudden happens all at once. I, “Dr. J.D. Stone,” fall madly in-love with that “one” woman, who I know so well that she trusts me with her every intimate secret. This human trait, “falling in-love with a woman with super powers would impress (this) comic book’s readers that it would sell by the millions. Just imagine. Me, a regular guy, recreated into “Dr. J.D. Stone,” with a shaggy-but-a-full-head of black hair and looks that are a little above a Greek god. Hey, I cannot afford to be too good-looking otherwise the heroine’s hot, younger sister might lust for me causing friction between me and heroine idol, the “object” of my deep love.

Here are the 11 super heroines and what features I love about each one:

• Supergirl---pretty blond hair; icy blue eyes.
• Superwoman---pretty blond hair; perfect figure.
• Batgirl---playful nature; super-hot eyes and in perfect shape.
• Wonderful Wasp---independent; flirty and strong-willed.
• ISIS---fabulous hair, eyes, figure and voice.
• Storm (of X-Men)---lovely eyes, lips, and humble nature.
• Shrinking Violet---very demanding; good looks and super-intelligent.
• Lightning Lass---quiet, shy, pretty blond hair and facial features.
• Sue Storm---strong, gorgeous hair, eyes, and exciting personality.
• Marvel Girl (of X-Men)---beautiful red hair, soft voice and very strong.

Lenore "Cassey" Case (Green Hornet/Britt Reid's secretary)---oh my! This girl had the prettiest eyes I have ever seen; a figure that wouldn’t quit; a sharp sense of humor and those pouty lips. I can still faint as I look at her photo.

Guys, what would you do if you were re-created into a comic book guy, and then the writers have you falling in-love with a woman such as the ones on the list above?

(This is known as a “comic book cliff-hanger): Seriously. I am really in a dilemma. I do not know which beautiful heroine to choose to be her sidekick, best friend and “the” woman who would be so understanding when I finally reveal to her that I am madly in love with her. Oh, this story could easily stretch into maybe ten issues, all bone-chilling, nerve-racking, and emotionally-draining for the faithful readers.

2 p.m., Sept. 23: Well, it has been over 24-long, stressful hours since I started this hub, but with some serious “quiet time,” and some deep thinking, I have chosen Lorne Case/Wende Wagner, to be her trusted-sidekick, and to fall in-love with during the course of our friendship.

“Ohhhh, my,” you gasp. “What about Britt Reid, her powerful boss?” Well? What about him? “I” am “the” man who “puts his cards (and heart) on the table,” while he plays crusader with his powerful daily newspaper, the Daily Sentinel.

Call me foolish. Call me stupid for not choosing Wonder Woman, Supergirl or ISIS, but I can only tell you that there was then, and still would be “that” look from Lorne’s eyes and those full, pouty lips and how they destroyed my comic book man’s comic book willpower.

Hey, do you reckon that one of the benefits of loving Lenore Case is her to coax Britt Reid/Green Hornet to let me drive the Black Beauty? Lorne and I could go to a drive-in movie and be the talk of the town while I just look out of my driver’s side window and grin a smug grin as that of “the canary that has swatted (a) Green Hornet.”