When I Grow Up: My Top 5 Dream Jobs
Ever since I was a little girl I've had very outlandish goals and aspirations.While the adults oohed and ahhed at my mini friends who told tall tales of their future lives as doctors, teachers, lawyers, presidents and firemen, I developed different dreams. Dreams that fascinated some and worried others. For the first few years of my life my mother feared that I would end up hopeless and defeated while my father stood idly by indulging me in every one of my odd desires. She wanted me to be a brain surgeon, he wanted me to be happy. The truth was that the thought of only being one thing terrified me. I wanted to do it all! Here are five dream jobs I wanted when I grew up:
1. The Pink Ranger
I survived my childhood solely because of my quick reflexes and ability to hide in small spaces. How my cousin and I never maimed each other while pretending to be Power Rangers and deciding who would take on the role of each ranger is still a mystery to my entire family. Her theory was that I should be the Yellow Ranger because I had black hair, so naturally she would be the Pink Ranger. She also had black hair. This, ladies and gentlemen, was my first lesson in the unfair ways of life.
I know, I know. There are a million factors that would make it impossible for me to become a successful rapper. I haven't committed a felony, joined a gang, gotten a tattoo on my face or was a misunderstood youth raised by the mean streets. This dream was a dud from the very beginning but it never stopped me from imagining what could have been. I even came up with a pretty clever rap name. You can call me Dirty Cupcake. Or Heidi. Whatever works for you, yo.
3. Irish Dance Champion
There was a brief period in my life where I was obsessed with Riverdance: Lord of the Dance. The way they told their story on stage with a succession of rapid stomps and gracious leaps was the most fascinating and envy-inducing thing I could have ever imagined. I wanted to twirl blissfully while moving to the loud rhythm of drums! I wanted to be the center of the intense dancer number at the end that made everyone stand up and cheer! I wanted to dance! No one ever told me that there were no Ecuadorian-American Irish dancers. I found that out later on in life. I was crushed.
The very first time I saw a kung fu movie and a ninja appeared on the television screen I was filled with awe, amazement, joy and an unquenchable curiosity. Were these masters of martial arts real? Were they super heroes? Where could I find them? And most importantly, how could I become one?! I leaped off couches and hid behind doors to better surpise my victims. I was going to be the best ninja ever! I was so set on this new lifestyle that my father took me to a trial karate class to see if this was in fact my true calling. It was there that I ultimately decided it was very mean to kick people. We left the class, got ice cream and called it a day.
5. Disneyland Pocahontas
I'm not joking. Disney movies played a huge role in my childhood. Not only did they help me develop my incredible imagination, they taught me some serious life lessons. Don't wait for a man to save you unless you know seven dwarves that are willing to drop some clues on your whereabouts, don't eat apples given to you by mean coworkers and Belle fell in love with a werewolf way before Bella. I know the whole historical significance behind Pocahontas but as a tan-skinned, dark-haired gal, she was the only character I could look up to. She was a beautiful, adventurous, animal-loving tribal princess and I desperately wanted to leap off mountains just like her. Okay, maybe not leap off mountains but maybe sing Colors of the Wind while standing on a hill while someone throws leaves at me. I wanted to dress up, possibly adopt a cookie-loving raccoon and a sassy hummingbird and walk around Disneyland with my head held high. To my dismay, I don't even think Pocahontas is included in the Disneyland character line-up. Is someone going to protest?
As crazy it at all sounds, miniature Heidi thought it was all possible. Maybe it was my little irrational mind trying to understand the grand scheme of things, or maybe it was my tiny soul envisioning how the world should be. We would all be in better shape as a planet if there were more Pink Rangers, Irish Dance Champions and ninjas around. The nice justice-loving ninjas, of course. Who would want to live in a world that functioned any other way? Not me, that's for sure.
What did you want to be when you grew up? Leave a comment down below!