Welcome to Brash Babes, Devilish Dames & Wicked Wenches
Ever since a serpent showed up in the Garden of Eden, and Adam couldn't wait to sample the low hanging fruit, Eve has been getting a bad rap!
Frankly my dear, Cinderella, Snow White, and Goody-Two-Shoes don't stand a fat chance around these funny femme fatales!
WICKED WENCHES KNOW THAT:
Image Credit: Vimrod cartoon created by Ralph Lazar and Lisa Swerling - vimrod.com
Beware of Fire-Breathing Folks - Especially one's with furrowed brows and tantalizing tails.
"Listen up people - there will be no griping, no groaning, and no grumbling in my presence!
Just get down on bended knee and gladden my heart or else put your nose to the grindstone if you want my attention!!
Ron Leishman - clipartof.com/1058377
WISE WORDS FROM A WITTY WENCH
If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him...he still wrong!
Wise Words from another Wicked Wench:
"Frankly my dear, aren't you glad that beauty is only sin deep!
Wicked words from a feisty fashionista...
Her wonderful one-liners leave no doubt in anyone's mind, what she's thinking!
-- "If each day is a gift, I'd like to know where to return Mondays."
-- "My soul's had enough chicken soup. I want some chocolate."
-- "If men are from Mars,I say we need to find the bozo who supplied them with spaceships."
-- "I get my summer glow from a bottle. It says 'Zinfandel'."
-- "Shhhh...that's the sound of nobody caring what you think."
-- "Life is too short to dance with ugly men."
-- "Well aren't you just the most adorable black hole of need."
-- "If a man's home is his castle HE can learn to clean it."
-- "Actually you can have a healthy sex life well into your later years. Assuming you can stand the sight of people your age naked."
Image Credit: "Maxine" - Shoebox Greetings, J. Wagner illustration - Hallmark Cards
Celebrate the pleasures of being bad in a good girl's world -- Art by Anne Taintor
HAIL TO THE GODDESS OF GRRRL POWER!
There is one very wicked woman behind some of the best tainted ladies in town. She's none other than the Goddess of Grrrl Power, Anne Taintor!
Frankly, when these ladies are good, they tell it like it is, in the manner of that marvellous madame of mirth, the late Mae West. And when they're bad, watch out!
Anne's images of well-mannered women with less-than-well-mannered sassy slogans lend a saucy twist to the vintage artwork pieced together from 1940s and 1950s magazine clippings.
She's definitely the mistress of mayhem with wicked words and images adorning the pages of jestful journals, devilishly-divine dinner napkins, post-menopausal postcards, funky fridge magnets, gourmet giggle greeting cards, not to mention mirthful mugs and handy-dandy flasks for any Christmas party because "between the eggnog and the mistletoe, she was certain she'd get lucky this year!!
Let's face it, what's not to like about a beautiful floral file folder entitled "Just file it under 'who cares'!"
Kick up your heels, and celebrate the pleasures of being bad in a good girl's world!
Image Credit - Anne Taintor
FUNNY FINDS FOR FEISTY FELINES
Divas of domesticity know how to drown their sorrows!
Perfect for poisonous pen notes!
For those who dream of tossing the Goody Two Shoes image once and for all!
There's a little bit of devil in every domestic diva!
THIS VIXEN IS A VAMP!
"When other little girls wanted to be ballet dancers, I wanted to be a vampire."
-- Angelina Jolie, American actress --
WICKED WENCHES KNOW A GOOD WINE WHEN THEY SEE ONE!
Clearly, this venerable newspaper had no inkling of the fact that vintage vixens not only have no fear and simply adore fine vines, but like many other wicked wenches, they know how to wink with their wine if the occasion calls for it.
According to Copeland Communications, "wineries around the globe are trying to corner the chick wine market by rebranding or creating new blends with names such as 'Strut', 'Bitch' and 'Pink'. The wine bottles have eye catching labels with things like sexy cocktail dresses, vamp red lips, stilettos or the 'Pretty in Pink' theme to name but a few angles" to capture the attention of light-hearted libation lovers.
Image Credit: "Strut" Chardonista, a VQA Niagara Penininsula wine label featured at http://copelandcommunications.wordpress.com
"I try not to drink too much because when I'm drunk, I bite."
-- Bette Midler, singer --
When she was good, she was very, very good but,...when she was bad she was even better!
Studies show that wrinkles add depth and character -- which is why shall shallow and sassy sexegenarians have it made!
WHAT DO YOU MEAN 13 WITCHES IN A HOT-TUB ISN'T A SELF-CLEANING COVEN? (Image Credit: email@example.com)
BAD GIRLS OF THE BIBLE
For those looking for loopholes in the liturgy, it might be helpful to focus one's attention on what the holy book has to say about catty conniving crones not to mention seriously flawed felines and the light-hearted lessons behind their fall from grace.
Frankly goody-two-shoes deserves to be brought down a peg a three...and who better to do it than another mistress of mirth, Liz Curtis Higgs, who weaves a rather fine tale highlighting the lives of contemporary devilish dames and their curiously similar counterparts in the Bible.
However, a quick glance on Google also reveals that a reference to a boy band called "Bad Girls of the Bible" and several references to amusing artistic interpretations of "Bad Girls of the Bible" such as Jezebel, Delilah, Eve, and Salome.
Image Credit: Courtesy of Excuse Me - Hilaria Galleries on flickr.com
A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp. - Joan Rivers
BAD GIRLS OF THE BIBLE BOOKSHELF
There's plenty of fun and food for thought with these bad girl stories about Rahab, Delilah, and Lot's wife.
Find out what a seductive bathing beauty by the name of Bethsheba, Jezebel's nasty daughter, Athaliah, and Herod's wife, Herodius, have to say about life as a bad babe and what ladies can learn from them.
A light-hearted look at Sarah (a control freak), Hagar (a bitter babe), Rebekah and Leah (conniving schemers), and Rachel (a jealous, joy-challenged female).
What's not to like about following the cautionary tale of a modern day madwoman and her links to a not-so-bad girl in the bible?
"In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk."
-- Rita Rudner --
A woman of substance with a colorful past of course!
GOODY-TWO-SHOES MOVE OVER!
The devilishly divine duo of Cameron Tuttle and Susannah Bettag have come up with wonderful ways for wicked wenches to celebrate their naughty niche in life.
Look here Goody-Two-Shoes...it's time you move over and make way for the Bad Girls...you know those light-hearted lusty ladies and inspiring icons of irreverence.
They've got lots of amusing advice, titillating tricks and a healthy dose of Bad Girl wit and wisdom, which is why being "Bad" is so darn good.
So, whether it's time to discover when to prune your family tree, when to flirt, or when to get rid of a dirty shirt...these brash babes will deliver the giggle goods.
"Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses." -- Elizabeth Taylor, British-born American actress
SASSY SMARTMOUTH SUSIE SAYS ...KISS MY TIARA! (Courtesy of firstname.lastname@example.org)
Every Wicked Witch Knows How To Have - A Good Time With A Ghost and A Great Pumpkin!
Image Credit: www.shutterstock.com - image# 18239746
Wicked Wine Wenches Know What Kind of Boisterous Brew Hits the Right Spot! - Remember to "Eat, Drink and Be Scary" but in moderation on Halloween.
Image Credit: Spider Web Wine Label - reginaeaster.blogspot.com/soda can.jpg
Beware: There's plenty of bite in those bubbles!
WE WITCH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS! - Wanna drop by for a spell?
Image Credit: drawshop.com/27898-35
On SECOND THOUGHT SANTA BABY... - Why not ring my chimes and share some milk and cookies tonight?
A SIZZLING HOT HOLIDAY DELIGHT FROM A DEVILISH DAME!
WICKED WENCH CHRISTMAS CORNER
Why not try on this heavenly bit of Ho Ho Ho for the holidays?
Rudolph will adore those ripsnorting reindeer stockings!
Santa Baby I'll be waiting near the chimney tonight!
Trixie Tenderhooks is very keen to show off her brand-new fancy felt, fur-lined Elf boots... - Under the magic mistletoe of course.
Image Credit: shutterstock/20694202
A BODACIOUSLY BRAZEN BLURT:
"I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience." -- Shelley Winters (1920 - 2006), American actress, singer, producer
MY HUSBAND AND I DIVORCED OVER RELIGIOUS DIFFERENCES. HE THOUGHT HE WAS GOD AND I DIDN'T! (Image Credit: Octavine Illustration)
WICKED WENCH HOLIDAY WISH LIST
1. Ten lords a-leaping to my command.
2. A night out on the town with "Good King Wencelas".
3. A jolly man in a red suit who's willing to ring my chimes any time.
4. A silent night without "The Little Drummer Boy" banging on his bongos for pity's sake!
5. Jack Frost nipping at my door if it's not too much to ask.
6. Santa Baby to slip a sable under the tree for me.
7. Just a honking great yacht and no striped socks!
8. A marvellous bit of mistletoe along with a mortgage-free condo in the Cayman Islands with all the trimmings naturally.
9. A bright yellow, ultra fast, gas-guzzling, Lamborghini Gallardo to putz around town.
10. A diamond ring plus oodles of other bling to flash at whomever I please.
THE SASSY SMARTHMOUTH COMEDY COLLECTION
For anyone who wants to put the feisty back into being a feline!
A cheeky chic lit choice for any holiday or hen party host.
An irreverent look at a cockammie Christmas full of holiday humor that will help you down a turkey or put up with the turkey sitting next to you!
A great gift for a gal (along with a box of Extra-Absorbent Depends).
So ladies, what's wrong with being lustful, joyful, greedy, and happy among other things?