ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

You Were Right Oprah, I Don’t Think I’m What The OWN Network Needs

Updated on January 4, 2011


I don’t know why but when I originally made my video submission for the “Get Your OWN Show On The OWN Network” I really thought I had a shot. I guess so did the other 50,000 people who submitted videos or submitted to standing outside of Kohl’s stores by the thousands waiting for their big break. Was I surprised I wasn’t in the “top clicked upon” faves? No, but I did think I would stand a chance when the Oprah casting team viewed my video. Such was not the case and now that I’ve seen the ten who are competing for their own show and some of the OWN Network programming (is that redundant since the “N” in “OWN” stands for “Network?”) I can see now that mother Oprah once again got it right. You were right Oprah, I don’t think I’m what the OWN Network needs – Don’t Get Me Started!

I watched online the presentation of the top ten competing for their own show and I get it loud and clear. The Oprah network is supposed to be one of those networks that is like watching an episode of 7th Heaven, sure there may be some drama but the God fearing/loving family manage to figure it all out within the hour (unless it’s a two episode drama-filled storyline) so too will the Oprah network become the wind beneath many a wing of women in their forties.

For those of you who may not have watched my video, my idea was to become a Personal Assistant to different people each week (normal every day folk) who needed help with organizing and figuring out how to be their own assistant once I was no longer by their side. But you see, I didn’t survive a fire or epilepsy to do it and there my friends is where the Oprah Network really works its magic spell. Not all of the top ten have overcome adversity but there are enough of them (and one flamboyantly gay cabaret performer from Phoenix who really doesn’t make it very clear on the initial meet and greet of what exactly his show would be about) there is enough pull at your heart strings to be a song by Neil Diamond about ET.

When I write or create my videos for the most part I don’t aspire to be a Facebook philosopher (a recent post by one of my so-called “friends” read something like, “The only way to move forward is to lighten your load from your past and greet each day as an opportunity to bathe in the light of a new day.”) and by the way, do we think if he were around today Nietzsche might be overlooked as just another annoying friend who posted made up philosophies on Facebook (A subject for a great poet would be God’s boredom after the seventh day of creation. – Friedrich Nietzsche)? My point is that while I hope to bring a smile to your face (usually by writing what all of you are thinking) I don’t want to lift up life’s downtrodden or teach them not to buy a big screen TV when they haven’t had a job in three years.

No, I realize now that what my mother used to say to me is more than true, “Do what you know.” What Oprah knows how to do is create great television by tapping into our psyches like no other television creator/producer/performer ever known to television. She also knows how to push people into our homes that have a way of doing the same thing in their particular field of expertise (although I would like to say the jury is still out on poor Nate Berkus, the dullest designer on television). I don’t want to yell at anyone about finance, teach people to look at their poop or even give them psychological guidance by using analogies that only someone from the South on a “coon hunt” would understand. I don’t want to teach and enlighten, I just want to kvetch and vent.

So to that end, I think Oprah (or her team who may have or have not watched my video) made the right decision. I’m not an OWN Network star, in fact I don’t know that I’m a “star” at all but I do know one thing from the people who read and write into me, the world needs a self appointed Gaytriarch of the world like me whether it be online or in person to let all of you know that I don’t know why the caged bird sings but I sure as hell know that shrugs are more effective as a gesture than an article of clothing. You were right Oprah, I don’t think I’m what the OWN Network needs – Don’t Get Me Started!

Read More Scott @

My OWN Show Audition Video


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • somelikeitscott profile image

      somelikeitscott 6 years ago from Las Vegas

      Doug and Libby, Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. I don't hate Oprah (I think it's illegal to do so, actually) and I'm sure her network will be an enormous success, I guess I'm just "bitter, table for one!"

    • libby101a profile image

      libby101a 6 years ago from KY

      I enjoyed this and understand exactly where you are coming from! Although I enjoy some of Oprah's stuff, I can just imagine what the winner will be! Certainly not what "normal" people will understand or need...yet they will go along with it because it's Oprah! LOL! Way to go voicing your opinion!

    • profile image

      DougM 6 years ago

      Scott I'm sorry you didn't make "the cut" but I think you hit the nail on the head--your bite is too funny to be an uplifting sell out, look at Carson Kressley! (Personally I thought he was a lot funnier before Oprah adopted him, but ya can't blame him for wanting to please Mother...) BTW, I see that Gayle is going to have her own show--THAT WOMAN IS NOT INTERESTING. Anyway Scott, hang in there & as always thanks for sharing your thoughts (I laughed out loud over 'Neil Diamond singing about ET' but what would O say!?)