Everything seemed to be done out of desperation: the nightly candle lit dinners, the flowers, the back rubs, foot rubs, random surprise gifts waiting on the kitchen bar for me to find after work, love letters in a shared journal. We tried everything to get our love back on track. We both kept drowning ourselves in some body or mind altering over dose that sent us floating into a seemingly better world. I had accepted a promotion at work in hopes of bringing in more money to make up for that which he could not bring home. The hours consumed me entirely. I began to obsess over work. I could not call in or take a day off. I wanted to be there. He wanted me home. As a traveling artist, his scheduled days out were random and inconsistent. I needed consistent. My job gave me that. I pressed myself into more working hours, and those hours which were not spent at work: I drank heavily. I pushed reality out, and embraced ignorance. He did too. We agreed to disagree longer than we should have. I couldn't handle his addiction to marijuana any longer. It was on a commencing week that the seed was planted in my mind: move out. I wasn't able to legally live there due to his health situation. If "they" had found out, he would have lost his medical coverage, and he needed it to stay alive. I skipped gathering boxes to move. I didn't care about my furniture or any of the bigger stuff in our house. I wouldn't want to bring it with me to constantly remind me of US. I packed my little Kia three times over and moved it to a small apartment on the other side of town. The plan was to be moved out before he got back from his trip and keep my job. I needed ME time and that house did not provide. He simply could not understand. We attempted to keep our relationship status of engaged, but the hurt between the two of us was much larger than either of us could handle. Within a few months, the relationship was over and I had quit my job. My entire life spun out of control in less than six months. It was time for a change, and change is what I wanted: change is what I got.