Couch Potato Club
Welcome to the Couch Potato Club
This light-hearted lens is devoted to a rare breed of animal that doesn't give a sweet tweet about calories or how to count them if truth be told.
So, without further ado, raid the refrigerator, put your feet up, and turn on the boob tube -- because it's time for couch potatoes to celebrate!
Move over couch potato and make room for me!
Image Credit: noreenruszalin.blogspot.com/2010/12
Couch Potato Club Rules - Flaunt them at your peril.
1. Only one couch potato per couch.
2. Heaving empty cans out windows is strictly forbidden, especially since recyling them adds pennies to one's piggy bank.
3. One bowl of buttered popcorn may be consumed for those wishing a low-carb alternative to a dozen bags of potato chips.
4. Speaking with one's mouth full and belching is permissible provided one is in the company of happy hops-minded homo sapiens.
5. Putting one's feet up is always preferable to putting one's foot in one's mouth.
Image Credit: Couch potato badge, fxh.worth1000.com/16419/1061805
Couch Potato Club Motto - WORK SUCKS AND SO DOES SUCKING UP TO THE BOSS!
Not being the brightest potato in the bag, he had a knack for reading his boss like an open can of worms (which is why fishing for compliments from him was such a total waste of his valuable time).
Image Credit: marinasleeps.files.worpress.com/2011/01
COUCH POTATO CLUB NEWS - Titillating Trends in Couch Couture
Frankly, Fred Featherbed had no idea that his wife's penchant for polka-dots would creep into his man cave and put a damper on his weekly beer and armchair gridiron gathering with like-minded loafing lads.
Image Credit: Ron Leishman - clipartof.com/1047071
"Doing nothing is very hard to do ... you never know when you're finished."
-- Leslie Nielsen --
THE COUCH POTATO CLUB WORKOUT ROUTINE
The Couch Potato Club recommends that its members avoid at all costs anything that involves breaking a sweat, or if you prefer the politically-correct phrase ... leaving beads of perspiration on one's brow.
To this end, we endorse low-impact lollygagging such as wiggling one's ears, oodles of finger-pointing, and, last but not least, the amusing art of navel-gazing when one is not engaged in the most entertaining exercise of all -- belching and boisterous beverage can lifting.
Image Credit: fuelyourillustration.com - M.L. Jarmin, illustrator
Beware of Pretentious Potato Peelers and Super-Spud Sofa Studs!
He gives new meaning to the expression "hot potato".
FROM THE BELIEVE IT OR NOT BOX: - How The Couch Potato Club Got Started
Asked why he founded the Couch Potato Club, Tom Twizzlefingers, (a tater titan from Beer Bottle Crossing, Idaho), said, "it seemed like a good idea at the time", having just switched channels for umpteenth time using his state-of-the-art digital -3D TV remote control device.
Actually, the first 500,000 times he tried pressing all those frigging buttons nothing worked, which is why he took up beer-drinking and snack-food devouring to pass the time of day that might have otherwise have been taken up by swearing a blinking blue-streak, (not good for his sensitive emotional state of mind among other things).
All of this makes for a good story, which thankfully ended happily ever after, when he decided it might be more fun to pick up a cold six-pack, a bag of pizza pretzels, and invite himself over to watch the big game on the neighbor's voice-activated wall-to-wall screen TV!
Image Credit: istockphoto.com - image #809061
Crisis in the the Couch Potato Club! - The long-nosed lads knew that "Work Sucks" but frankly they had no idea that Rip Van Winkle would sleep on the job his en
Image Credit: www.john-howe.com - image# 037-Rip-Van-Winkle-port
A couch potato prefers to veg out on vittles than vanquish vertebrates!
Couch Potato Club Poll
Yes, Virginia, the following snack foods do exist, some might say just to tickle your tongue if not tickle you pink.
Image Credit: Illustrator, email@example.com
Which snack should be endorsed as the official Couch Potato Club snack?
A "mouse potato" is a distant relative of the "couch potato": one who spends a good deal of leisure time in front of the computer in much the same way the couch potato does in front of the boob tube.
Favorite Couch Potato Quotes
-- What do you call a stolen yam? -- A hot potato.
-- Why do potatoes make good detectives? -- Because they keep their eyes peeled.
Long Live The Couch Potato! - Vivat Radix Lecti!
If truth be told, he really gets a kick out his favorite extreme sport -- couch potato surfing!
Image Credit: corbisimages.com/42-20321822
The Couch Potato got tired of waiting for Godot to show up. - So he chucked the power of positive thinking, dove into the bucket of buttered popcorn, and watche
After reflecting on life, the universe, and everything (for about 30 seconds), he realized that he was but a humble couch potato in the gravy boat of life and let another slider loose on the sofa.
Image Credit: veryhappypig.com/Couch_Potato_Finished.jpg
5 Things Couch Potatoes Who Live in Cubicles Can Do To Relieve Their Ennui
And, if none of these work, you can always try a nifty new x-treme sport: couch surfing with some shrinks.
Image Credit: Vimrod cartoon - myauntthecarniverousmoose.blogspot.com/6084a.gif
Couch Potato Club Curios
This is a "must-have" manual for any serious couch potato person.
For those who are really keen on kicking the couch potato habit -- replacing salty snack foods with veggie vittles such as carrots, spinach, broccoli!
No ands, ifs or butts! This might offer some insight why "Fanny" Mae failed...and some amusing advice on why wisdom deems to elude couch potatoes.
Wordwatchers will appreciate this little gem, as will couch potatoes who might wish to wean themselves from the boob tube or the computer.
Every Couch Potato knows that you're yammed if you do or yammed if you don't -- but that's no excuse for not giving your mirth muscles a workout.