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Top 10 most badass dinosaurs

Updated on July 29, 2007

...and why you wouldn't want to mess with them.

Here you will find a list of dinosaurs so inherently vicious, they would not hesitate to disembowel then trample your lifeless body and leave your carcass to rot in the sun for the pterodactyl's to scavenge (more on these later). 

 

 

Anklyosaurus

Early Abrams Battle Tank

10.

This heavily-armoured cavalry unit could grow up to 20 ft long and 5 ft high. If you think you can bring it down with your high-powered rifle, think again, you won't even come close to piercing the armour plates on one of these behemoths. With a massive tail made out of bone that could flatten your sorry ass after it caught trying to eat it's young. Bet you wont try that again.

Therizinosaurus

Eat your heart out 'Rocket Chef'

9.

First discovered in Mongolia, this guy had giant claws up to a meter in length! These would have been perfect for killing pesky humans that kept trying to strap on a saddle. Being a vegetarian he would not eat you after the slaughter but instead would have likely defecated on your body. His very existence laughs in Jesus' face.

Therizinosaurus Licks Nigel Marven - he's lucky he didn't get his arms and legs pulled off.

Just for the record, dinosaur and man did not coexist.

Pterodactylus

Early Stealth Aircraft

8.

Being one of the first vertebrates to evolve flight, this winged lizard could tear through Orville and Wilbur Wright's flimsy flying contraption built in 1903 and render it a heap of useless balsa kindling. Pterodactyle's could literally fly circles around their targets and shit on them at the same time. Their wings had a sharp, claw-like finger used for poking out the eyes of their unwilling prey. Though not technically a dinosaur, this beast still claims an honourable mention on the list of most badass dinosaurs, for one obvious reason, it's better than you are.

Dimetrodon

Ownage

7.

With a jagged sail placed vertically along his spine, this cantankerous carnivore appeared early, 40 million years before the dinosaurs in fact and during his time was at the top of the food chain. Don't let his cuddly appearance fool you, this quadruped is rarely in a good mood. He's happy that you're here in fact, now there will be no need to hunt for prey, you'll do nicely.

Stegosaurus

Suped-Up porkupine

6.

Found all over Europe and in North America there was no-where to hide from one of these spiny brutes. An array of armour plates lined the vertebrae plus a series of spikes on the tip of its tail made a formidable adversary for any poor sucker stupid enough to take it on during the late Jurassic period. Don't rub peanut-butter in your eyes before challenging a Stegosaurus to a deathmatch.

Allosaurus

Strange Lizard?

5.

This enormous theropod dwarfs any land predators we live with today. 30 ft long on average, and a skilled hunter, the Allosaurus could chomp you in half in a single bite. Unless you're equipped with a double-barrelled flame-thrower, you might want to postpone your safari next time you've been transported back in time 150 million years, don't bother bringing extra plutonium for your flux-capacitor, you won't return intact.

Allosaurus - Doc brown can't save you now.

4. Triceratops

Early Battering Ram

Vlad the Impaler would be put to shame if he ever encountered one of these creatures. Standing as high as 9 ft, with a 25 ft length and weighing in at 10 tons, (that's like 2 elephants!) this one could impale you three times before you begged for mercy beneath his monstrous pillars called feet. Travelling in herds this animal doesn't come without allies, so any attack will be certainly met with force in numbers. Just be glad that you have 65 Million years between the two of you.

Velociraptor

This one could beat you at chess

3.

If you've ever seen the popular Jurassic Park series you'll have heard of this fast assault unit. With one enlarged, sickle-shaped claw on each hind foot, this prehistoric predator would deliver a disabling blow with its large slashing claw then devour your entrails while they were still digesting your last meal. Though not as large or as intelligent as the Spielberg movie portrayed, this feisty biped would make short work of any hapless movie director wearing a silly hat.

Tylosaurus

Early Submarine

2.

Nearly 50 ft long, and a nose built for ramming and stunning its prey, this guy literally ate sharks for breakfast. No scuba tank will be able to destroy this sea-faring predator. Even if your name is Roy Scheider you still won't have a chance. Not technically a dinosaur, but who cares, I'm the one writing this badass list, not you. His one weakness, dry land.

Spinosaurus

WMD

1.

Watch out George W, this one has every weapon and armour upgrade you can shake a big stick at. Razor-sharp teeth, an armoured spine, massive 9.5 tons (remember how many elephants that was?) and larger than any sissy T-rex, this guy puts to shame all other dinosaurs with it's sheer size and dominance in the food-chain. Head and shoulders above the rest in badassness as the picture clearly illustrates. Joke's on him though, I use his bones to fuel my civic, therefore, I win.

Lots of the favorites, shown here. - badass

watch the Tylosaurus rip that unsuspecting prey right off the shore.

Reader Feedback

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    • profile image

      InsomniatriC 

      9 years ago

      Woah, you don't know much about dinosaurs, do you?

      Spinosaurus was a little longer and taller than the T-Rex, but it was nowhere NEAR as powerful.

      Check this out. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aADio2uStTY

      The T-Rex is the strongest and most aggressive animal in history, and also has the strongest bite force... ever. It was also very smart, theoretically, it had a brain that was on par with a parrot's.

      If a Spino took any injury to it's sail, it could die. It couldn't use its arms in battle, because they were at a position so it could fish, not fight. It probably avoided confrontation because that gave the possibility for injury to the sail, which would kill it.

      It ate fish and small animals, T-Rex ate whatever the hell it wanted. It was the most badass dinosaur.

      The Spino in JP3 was pure movie fiction, they made the T-rex a pussy in that movie, and made the spino a badass. The second the Rex bit the Spino's neck, it should have died. That movie sucked anyway.

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