- Entertainment and Media
Funny Text Message Jokes
I love sending and getting text message jokes from my friends and family.
When I send a sms text joke to someone, I always hope it helps brighten their day and lets them know that I'm thinking of them. A birthday, holiday, events, recent conversation or just a regular day is a good day to make someone smile with a text joke.
I think it is great to get a random joke text. I could be having a great day or an awful day when my cell phone alerts me of a message. When I check my phone and I see it's a joke, it makes me feel good, smile or laugh! Who doesn't need that from time to time?
I will be adding new text jokes on this page. So if you want to make someone laugh or smile by text, check here.
Text Your Messages on an iPhone
Apple iPhone 4
Apple iPhone 4S
Short Texting Jokes
- Q : If people from Poland are called Poles,then why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
- Q : What did the drummer get on his IQ test?
A : Drool...
- Q : Did you hear about the idiot who walked around the world?
- Q : What's the difference between men and government bonds?
A : Bonds mature.
- Q : How many men does it take to change a toilet roll?
A : We don't know. Never happens.
- Q : What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
A : E.T. phoned home.
- Q : When do you know a woman is going to say something interesting ?
When she starts with "My husband said..."
- Q : How can you avoid getting wrinkles?
A : Take off your glasses.
- Q : Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
A : Because they taste funny.
- Q : What dose your boss and a slinky have in common?
A : They're both fun to watch tumble down the stairs.
- Q : Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
A : Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
- Q: What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A : A roamin' Catholic.
- Q: Why did the orange stop?
A : Because it ran out of juice.
Toilet Mug - Funny Coffee Mug
Funny Doormat - Dog Needs Exercise
Ring Doorbell and Run! Dog Needs Exercise!
Dog Needs Exercise Doormat is as durable and practical as it is comical!
Blonde Text Jokes
- Q : What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A : OH, LOOK!! Donut seeds!!
- Q : How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A : Shine a flashlight in their ear.
- Q : Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A : From crawling across the street when the sign said DON'T WALK!
- Q : Why are blonde jokes so short?
A : So men can remember them.
- Q : How do you confuse a blonde?
A : You don't. They're born that way.
- Q : Why did 18 blondes go to a movie?
A : Because below 18 was not allowed.
- Q : What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?
A : There have been sightings of UFOs.
- Q : What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimer's disease?
A : Her IQ goes up.
- Q : Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
A : Because it said "concentrate"!
Animal Joke Texts
- Q : Why do cows wear bells?
A : Because their horns don't work
- Q : When geese fly in a "V", why is one side longer?
A : Because there are more geese on that side.
- Q : Do you ever walk into a room and and forget why you walked in?
That's how dogs spend their lives.
- Q : Which side of the chicken has he most feathers?
A : The outside.
- Q : How do you identify a bald eagle?
A : All his feathers are combed over to one side.
- Q : What does a blonde owl say?
A : What, what?
- Q : A baby fish asked her mother: Why can't we live on earth?
Mother Fish: Earth is not the place for fish, it's made for "selfish".
- Q : Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund?
A : He wanted to get a long little doggie.
- Q : What do you call three rabbits in a row, hopping backwards simultaneously?
A : A receding hareline.
- Q : Why does a tiger have stripes?
A : So he won't be spotted.
- Q : Why do seagulls live near the sea?
A : If they lived near the bay, they'd be bagels.
- Q : Have you hear about the duck that was arrested for dealing?
A : He was selling 'quack'.