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Funny 911 Calls

Updated on January 10, 2013

Funny 911 Calls that really happened!

911 dispatcher get to hear their fair share of sadness and misery but every so often they receive a call into the 911 call center that brightens up their day. While most of them are sad or horrifying, some are pretty strange, and others are just out right hilarious.

I have searched the Internet many times looking for funny 911 calls and have placed some of the best ones I have ever heard right here, for you to hear!


The Unconcious Mailman

This is one of my absolute all-time favorites! Listen very closely. The little old lady is pleading desperatly for help because the mail man is on the floor unconscious. You will not believe why!

The Deer, the Dog and the Bambulance

OMG! What else can I say! This is so funny! You gotta hear this one to believe it!

***Be advised there is some strong language in this one.***

The Western Bacon Cheeseburger

Yes, this lady seriously called 911 over her Western Bacon Cheeseburger.

MORE crazy 911 Emergency Calls

K-Tel Presents: Crazy 911 Calls
K-Tel Presents: Crazy 911 Calls

1. Deer Trouble

2. He's Gone

3. A Bad Trip

4. Homework Help

5. Disconnected

6. A Big Nut

7. Bomb Sack

8. Taken Away

9. UFO Man

10. Taxi Taxi

11. Red and Green

12. Bovine Blues

13. False Alarm

14. In the Bag

15. Rolling Call

16. Big Birds

17. Clean-Up

18. Scratch It

19. Slow Down

20. Oh No!

 

Wife Gets Attacked by a Worthog and Husband Doesn't Know His Address - This is such a funny 911 call!

Man doesn't know his address...you will never believe what his solution is!

Dispatcher Has Had it With Stupid Calls

While I don't condone his behavior, I do understand what this dispatcher is feeling! I see calls like this all too often!

America's Wackiest 911 Calls (Paperback)

What's the Number for 911?: America's Wackiest 911 Calls
What's the Number for 911?: America's Wackiest 911 Calls

Gosh this is a funny book! If you ever wondered what kinds of nonsense clutters up the emergency phone systems, then look no further. You get over 220 pages of short snappy stories about folks whose idea of an "emergency" is ... well ... here are some examples:

having the hiccups ... too few towels in hotel room ... pet parrot flying outside ... not finding an open gas station ... needing a smoke alarm battery ... hunger for a pizza ... neighbor's dog barking ... wondering when is Cinco de Mayo ... checking lottery winners ... not knowing the police phone number

One great story is on page 60:

"Police in Houma, Louisiana, issued a citation in April 1992 to Velma Ann Wantlin for improper use of the 911 emergency line. Wantlin, twenty-eight at the time, called 911 to report the following emergency situation: her husband was preventing her from watching the season finale of Knotts Landing."

Most of the stories and quotes from real callers range from silly to quirky to bizarre. The final chapter relates the actual 911 line chatter in a situation that literally blows up at the end -- a dramatic, sobering way to end the book. (See page 223.)

 

Cop Overdoses on Weed

Now, please tell me, how stupid do you have to be....

Collection of funny 911 calls

You would just not believe what some people call 911 about!

The Serious side of 911 calls - True life stories of a 911 Dispatcher

Answering 911: Life in the Hot Seat
Answering 911: Life in the Hot Seat

Having worked as a 911 dispatcher, I cannot say enough good things about Ms. Burau's book. It is difficult to put into words what the job is like, the sorts of feelings and experiences dispatchers get, and Ms. Burau does an amazing job of explaining it. I found myself nodding in agreement (or laughing out loud,) seeing my own experiences in the events she narrates.

By no means is her account a whitewash or festival of warm fuzzies; some of the events she describes (and her and other dispatchers' reactions to those events) may be shocking or disturbing to those who haven't been there. This doesn't make those events or reactions any less real, or any less common in other police departments or dispatch centers.

Dispatchers are sometimes overlooked in the organization of police departments; many people assume the person they speak to on the other end of 911 is a police officer. Ms. Burau does an exceedingly good job of opening up this sub-society. Highly recommended, both for laypersons outside the field who want to understand what it's like in a 911 comm center, and for dispatchers who want a mostly humorous, sympathetic look at what we choose to do for a living. This is the best written account of 911 dispatching I've read.

 

Lady Locked in her Car

Funny 911 call over lemonade - You gotta hear this one to believe it!

Viagra 911 call - Why it's a prescription drug!

Very funny 911 call to ask advice about taking too much viagra.

What is Your Favorite 911 Call?

Vote for your favorite funny 911 call

See results

Amazon Spotlight

Crazy 911 (Uncensored)
Crazy 911 (Uncensored)

1. False Alarm

2. Butterflies

3. Deer Trouble

4. Messing Around

5. Stuck Guy

6. Yelling Woman

7. Dick Small

8. Swinging

9. Truck Trouble

10. Blanket Goof

11. Butt Laser

12. People Cook

13. Bad Vibrations

14. Voodoo

15. Slow Down

16. Meow

17. Deer Trouble #2

 

Please sign my guestbook! Feel free to post your comments, other calls you would like to share or just anything that feels right!

(sorry my other guestbook got deleted.)

Funny 9-1-1 Calls and Videos

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    • AnonBlogger profile image

      AnonBlogger 4 years ago

      Wow. Hilarious is all I have to say.

    • profile image

      aruldave 4 years ago

      People going crazy!

    • gottaloveit2 profile image

      gottaloveit2 4 years ago

      These are all excellent 911 calls!

    • profile image

      sllygred 5 years ago

      OMG Your collection of funny 911 videos had me in tears!

    • Ryan Will profile image

      Ryan Will 5 years ago

      Wow some of these calls are amazing; I didn't realize that you get so many calls like these.

    • profile image

      ningname1220 5 years ago

      @anonymous: Hehehe... I love Very funny. I heard it on the radio a few years back and it remains one of my all time favorites even now

    • profile image

      ningname1220 5 years ago

      Please sign my guestbook! Feel free to post your comments, other calls you would like to share or just anything that feels right!

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      the worthog one has always been one of my favorites. As a 911 dispatcher it helps to hear the funny ones after dealing with all the serious stuff we have to deal with on a daily basis

    • Mahogany LM profile image

      Mahogany LM 5 years ago

      Classic! I think I know the Western Bacon Cheeseburger lady. Just kidding :).

    • profile image

      phoenix3423 5 years ago

      The mail man was my favorite! This really made my day Thanks!

    • profile image

      promotional-coupons-codes 6 years ago

      I always enjoy 911 calls. It's unbelievable people are so dumb

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      Thanks so much. I liked your Squidoo.

    • profile image

      kpcwriting2 6 years ago

      Thank you so much for posting these funny 9-1-1 calls. My absolute favorite is the deer and bambulance once. Very funny. I heard it on the radio a few years back and it remains one of my all time favorites even now.

    • profile image

      Obscure_Treasures 7 years ago

      what a great lens...5*..

    • lasertek lm profile image

      lasertek lm 7 years ago

      These calls just prove that people do encounter strange experiences. Great lens! 5*

    • Airinka profile image

      Airinka 7 years ago

      Great lens!

    • profile image

      Mojo1930 7 years ago

      That is some hilarious stuff. I liked 'The Deer, the Dog and the Bambulance'. Too much! Where do you find this stuff?

    • profile image

      jgelien 7 years ago

      The lady locked IN her car is fabulous. Very funny lens. 5*

    • mythphile profile image

      Ellen Brundige 7 years ago from California

      These are great!

      I've got a suggestion for you -- I've got a friend who worked as a 911 dispatcher who made a lens about her adventures. She's a great lady. Check out:

      https://hubpages.com/politics/Emergencycall

    • profile image

      sabrinacareer 7 years ago

      WOW...the one that had the operator make a joke cracked me up.

    • Commandrix profile image

      Heidi 7 years ago from Benson, IL

      heehee...Loved the Burger King lemonade one. It's bad what 911 people have to go through and it's worse when people waste their time with frivolous stuff like this. 5* and faved...

    • TreasuresBrenda profile image

      Treasures By Brenda 8 years ago from Canada

      Nice collection of calls!

      Brenda

    • profile image

      anonymous 8 years ago

      Funny, I never knew that 911 operators had to go through before.

    • profile image

      anonymous 8 years ago

      Funny, I never knew that 911 operators had to go through before.

    • funwithtrains lm profile image

      funwithtrains lm 8 years ago

      Funny stuff, 5 stars and a Stumble!

    • BlackroseBugg profile image

      Melanie Barniskis 8 years ago from Southern Oregon

      OMG - Those are SO true - been there, answered many of those. I had no idea so many weird calls were documented like that- I have an entire CD full of them that I used for training. You do know that the western burger one ended in a homicide? The caller went into the BK and shot the manager. Her family sued the dispatcher for "Not realizing that the situation was escalating." I heard this in an entire room full of dispatchers- and NONE of us would have sent an officer, given what we heard. The dispatcher was exonerated and the family lost their suit.

    • religions7 profile image

      religions7 8 years ago

      Funny, a bit sad too, but funny. Want to join the Humor and Hilarity group?

    • OhMe profile image

      Nancy Tate Hellams 8 years ago from Pendleton, SC

      I imagine you have some tales to tell, too. These are unbelievably funny. I guess it takes all kinds. Great idea for a lens.

    • MargoPArrowsmith profile image

      MargoPArrowsmith 8 years ago

      Kind of black humor here. They are funny, but what a waste of time of an important service, but yes, we need to laugh.

      Were they really going to send someone to open a beer bottle?

      Great idea for a lens, but these people need a clue! *****

    • MargoPArrowsmith profile image

      MargoPArrowsmith 8 years ago

      Kind of black humor here. They are funny, but what a waste of time of an important service, but yes, we need to laugh.

      Were they really going to send someone to open a beer bottle?

      Great idea for a lens, but these people need a clue! *****