Funny and Famous Tombstone Epitaphs
"I Told You I Was Sick" - Gravestone humour to die for.
Halloween humour brought to you by http://www.allholidaytreasures.com
We wanted to help get everyone in the Halloween mood so we put together this collection of gravestone humour to get you in the spirit . (get it...)?
You'd think a tombstone would be the last place to find something funny but then again the world's full of surprises! Besides, who says just because you're dead you can't still have a sense of humour!
We hope you enjoy this collection of funny and famous tombstone quotes. You can even make your own Halloween gravestone decorations using these as humourous epitaphs!
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Happy Halloween from http://www.allholidaytreasures.com!
Some Funny Epitaphs from All Over the World
I Told You I Was Sick!
"Reader --if cash thou art in want of any,
Dig four feet deep and find a Penny."
Epitaph of John Penny, Wimborne, England.
"In loving memory of Ellen Shannon, aged 25,
Who was accidentally burned March 21, 1870,
By the explosion of a lamp filled with R.E. Danforth's
Non-explosive burning fluid."
Epitaph in cemetery at Girard, Pa.
Peas is not here,
Only the pod.
Peas shelled out,
Went home to God."
Epitaph in a cemetery near Wetumpka, Ala.
"Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake,
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake."
Gravestone near Uniontown, Pa.
"Here lies John Yeast,
Pardon me for not rising."
Cemetary in Ruidoso, N.M.
"Here lies Lester Moore,
Four slugs from a forty-four.
Boothill Cemetery, Tombstone Ariz.
"I Told You I Was Sick"
Cemetary in Key West, Fla.
Funny Gravestones of Celebrities from the early 1900s
Ilka Chase: I've finally gotten to the bottom of things.
Dorothy Parker: "Involved in a plot."
Clive Brook: "Excuse me for not rising."
Lionel Barrymore: "Well, I've played everything but a harp."
Walter Winchell: "Here lies Walter Winchell in the dirt he loved so well."
We been digging around (get it?) and found some more for you.
Lester Moore, a Wells Fargo Co. station agent, is buried at Boot Hill Cemetery in Tombstone, Arizona:
Here lies Lester Moore
Four slugs from a .44
No Les No More.
On a tombstone in Enosburg Falls, Vermont:
Here lies the body of our dead Anna
gone to death by a banana
It wasn't the fruit that dealt the blow
But the skin of the thing that laid her low!
Ezekial Aikle, East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia, Canada:
In a cemetery in London, England:
Here lies Ann Mann
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann
Dec. 8, 1767
Emily White (20th Century):
Here lies the body of Emily White,
She signaled left, and then turned right.
Name Unknown (18th Century):
Here lies my poor wife, much lamented,
She is happy and I am contented.
Sir John Strange (1696-1754):
Here lies an honest lawyer, -
That is Strange.
Wallace Ford (1897-1966) British Actor
At last I get top billing.
John Edwards (died 1904):
John Edwards who perished in a fire
None could hold a candle to him.
John Brown (18th Century) Dentist
Stranger! Approach this spot with gravity!
John Brown is filling his last cavity.
Funny Ideas for Gravestone Epitaphs
So far as we know these aren't from real graves but they're still funny!
If you are making your own Halloween props or decorations this year, here are some pretty clever epitaphs to add to the fun:
Here Lies Larry Bass, Missed The Brake and Hit The Gas
Here Lies Lester More. No Les, No More ...
Here Lies My Wife, I Bid Her Goodbye. She Rests in Peace, and Now So Do I.
Here Lies Ron D. Vous, He met with death.
Hey! Get off me!
Mary Aster, Should Have Walked a Little Faster
Halloween Lights and Lighted Decorations
Orange lights on black wire, scary lighted witches for your window, spider string lights for Halloween. Here are some creepy cool lights and lighted Halloween decorations for your next Monster Bash!
How about some "Ghostbuster" green lights on black wire? Pair them up with some bat Halloween string lights and you've created a totally "ghoulsome" atmosphere.
Click on the Bat Halloween string lights photo to visit our Halloween store and check out all the great lights and lighted decorations just waiting to spook you!
Want more? Here are some terrific books on gravestones.
More great epitaphs...
"Come blooming youths, as you pass by ,
And on these lines do cast an eye.
As you are now, so once was I;
As I am now, so must you be;
Prepare for death and follow me."
Now, that isn't funny but then underneath, someone had added:
"To follow you
I am not content,
How do I know
Which way you went."
Now that's funny!
On the grave of a woman who died in 1984. Colorado Springs, Colorado. Her son, owner of Zeezo's Magic Castle in Colorado Springs, stated that his mother had been married to a Texan who is buried in Texas.
rather be here
than in Texas."
On a hanged sheep thief:
"Here lies the body of
Who lived by wool
and died by hemp."
James B. McCoy left a message on his 1899 tombstone proclaiming his independence from the United States Government.
"Member Co. D 17th Iowa Inf. which mustered in 1165 men and mustered out 42. Participated in 19 battles and 3 sieges. Never Applied For A Pension."
"Here lies the body of Arkansas Jim.
We made the mistake, But the joke's on him."
"Here lies a man named Zeke.
Second fastest draw in Cripple Creek."
Was hanged by mistake."