ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Gerber Zombie Kit

Updated on November 21, 2012

A Gerber Zombie Kit Could Be The Difference Between Life And Death

Kara stood holding her machete; thank god she had taken her lecturers advice and bought the Gerber Zombie kit BEFORE the apocalypse started.

She held the long machete awkwardly with one hand over the other, her shoulders tensed, the black shaded blade resting dangerously close to her ear. It was harder when it had first started, but it had become easier. She just thought of softball, and how the necks she aimed for didn't belong to real people. Not anymore anyway.

Image Credits - This gorgeous zombie is licensed under creative commons, all other images amazon.com

Zombie Love by Lora Zombie 12"x16" Art Print Poster
Zombie Love by Lora Zombie 12"x16" Art Print Poster

The Pink was still sort of frequented after the Zombie outbreak.

I mean, let's face it; how many hipsters can you keep away from the most "relevant" art scene and the most "chill" bars?

They still went out and about. Hell, some of them picked up blades like Kara had and started chopping.

They rode by on fixed speed bikes and swung at the necks of the walkers. A lot of them got pulled down that way. More of them died trying to get back home to mommy and daddy, who paid most of their expenses anyway.

That was the thing about the art scene. No one really worked if they didn't have to. Their bands, their paintings, their writing, that was their real "work".

You think that they could at least be painting and drawing zombies, since that is all most people knew these days! It's quite easy to learn with a book like the one shown in the picture below

"What a crock." Kara muttered to herself, blowing a strand of dark hair out of her face. - Overtop of the bodies that were already stacked in front of The Pink

Kara stepped into the swing, and the thing that had once been a hip kid with an ironic mustache jerked up in its descent. The body slid to the bottom of the mound, and the head rolled forward past Kara and under the pool table. There it lay, gnashing with a few dozen others sporting deliberately thick glasses and identical ironic facial hair.

"Thank you Gerber Zombie Survival Kit" Kara said to herself

Gerber Zombie Apocalypse Survival Kit [30-000601]
Gerber Zombie Apocalypse Survival Kit [30-000601]

FEATURED HERE IS THE GERBER 30-000601 ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE SURVIVAL KIT

 

Kara flicked her eyes that way once before bringing one arm across her sweaty forehead again and bringing the machete up - to batting position once more. Behind

Behind her, everyone save for a coward was dead. It wasn't her younger brother, but her older brother. He had two years on her and had graduated UB with a liberal arts major only to join the scene of the artists and poets downtown.

He didn't work, and Kara's Mom and Dad paid for everything. It was their way of letting him "find himself", a term so vague it meant nothing to Kara. She'd worked hard, gone to UB for their pre-law program, and was still always in the shadow of her brother's "brilliant" art.

Gerber Gator Machete Pro [31-000705]
Gerber Gator Machete Pro [31-000705]

They were abstract modern paintings, and their parents praised him, and his new trendy and beautiful friends praised him, and for the life of her, all Kara could see was a bunch of different colored squares on canvas. What good where they right now, when what he really needed was a Zombie Kit, something to help him survive the apocolypse, not a piece of canvas.

FEATURED ABOVE IS THE GERBER 31-000705 GATOR MACHETE PRO, NYLON SHEATH

 

When the walkers started to come and to change people, they begged him to come home to Chicago. - He'd refused, saying it was essential that he stay behind with

It was their sacred "responsibility" to start anew. To create Bohemia from Chaos and "rise from the ashes of Armageddon like the phoenix". So he had stated so nobly and with such great pride before hanging up on his parents and refusing to answer any further calls.

Gerber 31-002103 Apocalypse Deterrence Kit Including Gator Machete Pro and DMF Manual Folding Knife
Gerber 31-002103 Apocalypse Deterrence Kit Including Gator Machete Pro and DMF Manual Folding Knife

FEATURED ABOVE IS THE GERBER 31-002103 APOCALYPSE DETERRENCE KIT INCLUDING GATOR MACHETE PRO AND DMF MANUAL FOLDING KNIFE

 

Kara had been on her way out of the city and heading towards Chicago when her parents had dialed her cell phone. - It was essential, quite suddenly, that she ai

Her fate went either way as far as her folks were concerned. She was quiet and bookish and had never seen the point in self-centered obsession over art. This is not to say that she didn't appreciate art work, but it was no way for a man to make a living or for him to support his family. He threw away every chance he'd ever had and leeched off of their parents for ages, and someone else always footed the bill.

Kara had done what she’d done throughout the entirety of her twenty years on earth. She manned up,

Kara moved stealthily through downtown past walkers and raiders, keeping watch for her brother. - It hadn't taken her long to find him in his former hangout.

And when she had found him he had protested so loudly that walkers had gathered around The Pink, moaning and groaning and hungering for flesh. Kara's brother had started into hysterics, his art lost, his friends dead, and the undead closing in. Kara had done what she'd done throughout the entirety of her twenty years on earth. She manned up, strapped it on, and got things done. She had been standing just inside the front doors for two hours, chopping, swinging, and keeping the undead at bay. Her brother only bemoaned his own fate.

Gerber Zombie Kits . . . . Essential For Your Future Survival

"It's not so bad for you, you managed to get a Gerber Zombie Kits on eBay before the Zombie Apocolypse started"

Gerber Zombie Kits on eBay

"This is all your fault, Kare. You know that right? If you had just stayed away they'd have left The Pink alone. I would have been able to drink and paint and be left alone until I died. Now we're damned for all time."

It's not so bad for you, you managed to get a Gerber Zombie Kits on eBay before the Zombie Apocolypse started

Gerber Zombie Kit on eBay - Another walker came over top and Kara swung once more, severing the zombie's head from its shoulders with a little more effort.

The blade was getting dull. She made a resolution as the blood sprayed over her front for the umpteenth time. She would keep chopping until they stopped coming. Then she would approach her brother, and stab him repeatedly. As he bled out, she'd pour ever clear on his paintings which lay scattered around the bar, and then light them on fire.

There was no room in what was left of the world for those who only talked and did not act. She was simply culling the herd. Living and un-living alike. As another walking corpse topped the mound, Kara grinned.

Zombie Play Things - Give Zombies As Good As They Give!

Some fun Zombie toys to while away the hours while you are holed up in your Zombie Apocolype fortress

Zombie Dice
Zombie Dice

You blindly take 3 dice and roll them. You keep your brains to your left, your gunshots to your right, and your footprints in the middle. As long as you haven't been shot 3 times, you can choose between rolling again, or eating (scoring) your brains and passing your turn.

 

Would Love To Hear Your Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Oneshotvariety LM profile image

      Oneshotvariety LM 5 years ago

      Very interesting lens! I like that first zombie image too!

    • sweetstickyrainbo profile image

      sweetstickyrainbo 5 years ago

      not just for babies any more!

      Happy Merry DoomCember!

    • kislanyk profile image

      Marika 5 years ago from Cyprus

      Great one for the next Halloween!

    • EEWorkouts profile image

      EEWorkouts 5 years ago

      Great lens! Nice to see story being used.

    working