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Latin for Laughs
Welcome to Latin for Laughs
When it comes to Latin, most Americans think of the "Roman Empire", "Toga Parties", "Caesar" Salad", or perhaps how to place a bet on the "chariot races".
However, those frightfully boring but better-educated Brits from across the pond love all things old...including the Latin language. In fact, they usually get straight to the point if there is a point to be made upon greeting a friend: "Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre?" In other words, "Is that a scroll in your toga, or are you just happy to see me?"
WARNING FOR WIT AND WISDOM SEEKERS:
This little loopy linguistical lens is recommended for giggle-oriented gladiators, lighthearted Latin-lovers and the odd ribald Roman Empire enthusiast or three.
When Things Go Bump In the Night - What's the most important thing to remember?
"DRACO DORMIENS NUNQUAM TITILANDUS: NEVER TICKLE A SLEEPING DRAGON"
Image Credit: 123rf.com/9290203
Quote Credit: J.K. Rawlings, Harry Potter, - Hogwarts motto
Laughable Latin Lore
Have you ever wanted to know how to converse in Latin just like the Romans did (without having to face the dangers of chariot racing)? When the kids are driving you crazy in the back seat of your car with that familiar phrase ... 'are we nearly there yet?', you can reply with grace and aplomb ... "Paene advenimus", or really impress the marvelous munchkins with your unforgettable wise words "Relinque me in pace!" (Leave me in peace!)
Image Credit: Laughable Latin phrase - cafepress.com - 178415705v8
NOW A WORD FROM THE CHEEKY CHERUB
"Non diu morabor -- I shall not linger long."
QUALES ILLIC HOMUNCULI! WHAT WEIRD LITTLE MUNCHKINS! - (Image Credit: firstname.lastname@example.org)
WHEN IN ROMAN DO AS THE ROMANS DO:
How do you get your hair to do that?
Quomodo cogis comas tuas sic videri?
Image Credit: email@example.com
VENI, VIDI, VELCRO - I CAME, I SAW, I STUCK AROUND!
"Apudne the vel me?" -- Your place or mine?
It's Never Too Late To Lure The Latin Way!
So you want to become the next red-hot Latin lover like Lothario -- well here's the book for you!
NOT ALL SNAKES LIVE IN THE GRASS...
"Populus me sibilat" -- Everybody hisses at me.
LATIN LANGUAGE LIBRARY - For those who are keen to learn a forgotten language.
This is an excellent resource for anyone wishing to explore the foundation of the romance languages.
A quick refresher for Latin language learners - plus it also doubles as a wise wall hanging.
This Latin Dictionary will come in handy for keen Scrabble players or dedicated dictionary collectors.
Dorks, dweebs, and duffuses will be really impressed with this handy-how to speak and write in the Latin language.
Recommended by Intelligent Idiots with an inkling for something different to while away their time.
HANDY LATIN PHRASES FOR THE OFFICE
In a world of chaos, calamity, and crisis, there's always room for a few pithy Latin phrases to keep morale up in the corporate zoo and impress your work mates.
"What are you laughing at Jackass?*!"
- Quid rides equus asinus?*!
"There goes my bleeper!"
- Tintinnuntius meus sonat!
"If in doubt, leg it."
- Si dubitas, fuge.
"Seen one, seen'em all."
- Uno viso, omnia visa sunt.
"Seize the tape!"
- Carpe Ductum!
"What? Me worry?"
- Quid? Me anxius sum?
"I came. I saw. I broke wind."
- Veni. Vedi. Flatui.
"What goes around, comes around."
- Id quot circumiret, circumveniat.
"I've got to see a man about a dog."
- Cum homine de cane debeo congredi.
"Accountants don't know how to dress fashionably."
- De gustibus non est disputandum.
"Seize the check!"
- Carpe per diem!
"When all else fails, play dead."
- Quando omni flunkus moritati.
* * *
Pithy persona non grata remarks:
"Just do it!"
"Not in my backyard!"
Ne ponatur in mea vicinitate!
"Go ahead. Make my day!"
- Age. Fac ut gaudeam!
"If it ain't broke, don't fix it!"
Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere!
"I can't hear you, I have a banana in my ear."
- The audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure.
"May barbarians invade your personal space!"
- Utinam barbari spatium proprium tuum invadant.
"Shut up and go away!"
- Tace atque abi.
Oh and by the way, "Have a nice day!" - Die dulce fruimini!
"Nimiast miseria nimis pulchrum esse hominem." - How unbearably tiresome it is to be too handsome!
WIT & WISDOM WHEN IT COMES TO WARDROBE:
"Simper ubi sub ubi."
(Always wear clean underwear)
A tippler's toast (from a dude with way too drams of damn in the deft department)
Not under-endowed in the nose department,
with not so very beautiful a foot,
nor exactly deep black eyes,
also lacking long slim fingers,
and with a mouth I couldn't really call dry --
with none too pretty a tongue inside it ....
Saleve, nec minimo puella nasso
nec bello pede nec nigris ocellis
nec longis digitis nec ore sicco
nec sane nimis elegante lingua
HANDY LATIN PHRASES FOR PARENTS
Let's face it, raising the younger generation can be a bit of a handful. So here's an educational if not entertaining Latin learning opportunity for the whole family:
"Honey, I'm home."
- Mellita, domi adsum.
"Really Rad, dude!"
- Radicitus, comes!
- Quid fit?
"What weird little munchkins!
- Quales illic homunculi!
- Nullo modo!
"Read my lips."
- Labra lege.
- Fors fortis!
I don't want a toaster.
- Fornulum pani lolo.
"Pretty please with a cherry on top! "
- The precor dulcissime supplex!
"I think we're on the same wavelength."
- Credo nos in fluctu eodem esse.
"If Caeser were alive, you'd be chained to an oar."
- Caesar si viveret, ad remum dareris.
"In the good old days, children like you were left to perish on windswept crags!"
- Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem.
Bad kitty! Why don't you use the cat box? I put new litter in it.
- Feles mala! Cur cista non uteris? Stramentum novum in ea pousi.
On the other hand, why don't you give your mother and I a break by sitting on a tuffet...or better yet a fimetum! (Note: "fimetum" is the Latin word for a dunghill)
Image Credit: firstname.lastname@example.org
HANDY LATIN PHRASES FOR PITCHING WOO
Forget about wooing your significant other with a calorie-laden box of chocolates, a pot of petunias to which she is allergic, or a gilt-edged greeting card with a bunch of mundane mumbojumbo.
Just blow a few of these "sweet nothings" in her ear, and watch the fireworks:
"Honey, I'm home."
Mellita, domi adsum.
- Saeva scaeva!
"Those teeth of yours could chew up a flint-stone."
- Dentes vel silicem comesse possunt.
"You know, the Romans invented the art of love."
- Romani quidem artem amatoriam invenerunt.
"Let's engage in some perfidious pillow-talk."
- Voces fallacis amicae.
"It's a sure thing that Woman is the daughter of Delay incarnate."
- Mulier profecto natast ex ipsa mora.
Image Credit: email@example.com
"Voces fallacis amicae." - Perfidious pillow-talk!
A tantalizing tale of a tart and a tiger...
Puella Rigensis ridebat
Quam tigris in tergo vehebat;
Risusque cum timgre manebat.
There was a young lady of Riga
Who went for a ride on a tiger;
They returned from the ride
With the lady inside,
And a smile on the face of the tiger.
Content: Author anonymous: R.L. Greed (ed.) "A Century of Humorous Verse", 1959.
Image Credit: Tiger illustration by firstname.lastname@example.org
- PITHY PAPAL PRONOUNCEMENTS
Or, "Believe me father, the Latin for hot pants is 'brevissimae bracae'.
- LATIN LAUGH LINES
These little gems may leave you rolling in the aisle.
- HELPFUL LATIN PHRASES
When you're in a pinch, it's helpful to learn a little Latin.
- LATIN MADE EASY
How to impress your friends with easy-to-use Latin quotes and quips.
- GOOD LORD NOT MORE LATIN!
A very long list of luscious Latin phrases for those with short attention spans.
- LATIN NAME GENERATOR
Ever wondered what your name would have been if you'd lived during the Great Roman Empire?
- LATIN PHRASES (A-E)
A little cheat sheet for those who don't have a little Latin dictionary (for words A to E).
- LATIN PHRASES (F-O)
For those who who are bored with English ...what do you mean there's no Latin word for 'fuddy duddy'?
- LATIN PHRASES (P-Z)
For those who need something more stimulating than conversing in Pig Latin.
- LATIN FOR LOLLYGAGGERS
Lovely if not sometimes ludicrous latin mottos and musings (for those who like reading tomes alone).
- LAUGHABLE LATIN
Who knew that "Iam est satis superque linguae Latinae-Fatuinae edamus" means "Enough already with the latin-schmatin, let's eat!"
- LITTLE PHRASES FOR LATIN-LOVERS
If you don't own a sombrero, can't stomach salsa, and don't do the samaba...take heart...just learn a little Latin and be happy!
- LOVELY LONG LIST OF LATIN WORDS
For those who didn't take Latin in school, here's a pithy primer for you. Learn one new word at bedtime and in two decades, you'll have mastered a minium of 7,300 words (which is more than you'll ever use in the English language)!
- SO YOU THINK YOU KNOW LATIN?
This is a handy dandy thing for those who think they know-it-all!
"Amicus versus est rara avis." -- A true friend is a rare bird (even if they are a free range radical!)
Image Credit: Amanada Woodward@flickr.com
CURIOUS CHARACTER WITH A LATIN NAME
Meet Geococcyx californianus, better known in English as "Road Runner", a cartoon character who is always engaged in an eternal battle of skill and speed with the rather luckless, pathetic, and plan-challenged "Wile E. Coyote".
"Roadrunners" are members of the Cuckoo Bird family who hang out primarily in California (along with all the movie stars), not to mention other warm destinations in Mexico and Central America.
VENI, VIDI, VISA -- I CAME, I SAW, I WENT SHOPPING! (Image Credit: Lottie Frank@flickr.com)
IS THERE A SANTA CLAUS IN LATIN?
Yes Virginia, There is a Santa Claus In Latin -- Vere, Virginia, Sanctus Nicolaus est!
Yes, Virginia, even Santa speaks Latin! - Who said you can't have fun with Latin?
'Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?' On September 21, 1897, the minds and hearts of two people met and in that meeting created magic that has survived more than a century.
Virginia O'Hanlon's earnest question set New York Sun editor Francis Pharcellus Church to writing. Church's reply, a testimony to the existence of Santa Claus, on the marvels of the unseen but very real world of wonder, are now a part of Christmas lore.
And, what makes this classic Christmas tale even more interesting -- is its translation into Latin (the so-called "dead language" which is the basic of so many romance languages (English, French, Italian, and Spanish) that thrive today.
Learning Latin just got a wee bit easier with this illustrated version of a classic Christmas tale!
CHRISTMAS CLANGER - HOW ABOUT A LATIN LAUGH LINE?
The Santa Silly Season has arrived at last.
So here's a lovely little bit of Latin to shout out as you're running around Hell's Half Acre trying to pick up your last minute gifts this year:
Quod ad tempus reservas ista lumina pulchella praemonitoria - ad Saturnalia? - What are you saving those pretty little turn signals for - Christmas?
Beati mites, quoniam istis in ordine stantibus anteponere nosmet ipsos possumus. - Blessed are the meek, because we can cut in front of them in lineups.
Licet mihi venerari pro deo quemlibet, etiam SpongoRoberto QuadratoBracatum et Santa! - I get to worship whomever I want, including SpongeBob SquarePants and Santa!
Image Credit: twylah.com/Christmas-Preview_02.jpg
Quomodo Invidiousulus nomine Grinchus natalem Christi Abrogaverit (How The Grinch Stole Christmas) - Image Courtesy of Kevin@fli
The Grinch Who Stole Christmas In Latin! - A Wonderful Gift for Gurus of Grinch and Latin Lovers!
This little gem will knock your socks off, especially if you're a lover of latin not to mention everyone's favorite Christmas nemesis ..."The Grinch"!
Natale Hilare et Annum Faustum, Bozo!
AND NOW A WORD FROM THE LOLLYGAGGING & LATIN-LOVING INSTITUTE
Sloth, (one of the seven deadly sins), often frowned upon by the ho-ho-ho-challenged human species. The Latin tagline translates as "sloth breaks one's strength and withers the nerves" which is why witless workaholics can't abide the company of drowsy-headed dilly-dallerers, indifferent indolents or lackadaisical loafers and lollygaggers for that matter.
Illustration Credit: Peter van Heyden, "Desidia or Sloth".
How now, brown cow? =
Quone modo nunc, fulve bos?
Don't have a cow, man! =
Noli habere bovis, vir!
Image Credit: Kazels@flickr.com
PITHY POCKET BOOKS FOR THE PLEASURE-CHALLENGED
For those who want a few Latin laugh lines!
Gives new meaning to conjugal visits!
You'll never be at a loss for lost words again!
What you get for the college-bound canine crowd!
For sassy snow-boarders and snooty sushi bar types!
HOW HARD IS IT TO LEARN LATIN?
"The Romans would never have found time to conquer the world if they had been obliged first to learn Latin."
-- Heinrich Heine --