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Latin for Laughs

Updated on January 4, 2013

Welcome to Latin for Laughs

When it comes to Latin, most Americans think of the "Roman Empire", "Toga Parties", "Caesar" Salad", or perhaps how to place a bet on the "chariot races".

However, those frightfully boring but better-educated Brits from across the pond love all things old...including the Latin language. In fact, they usually get straight to the point if there is a point to be made upon greeting a friend: "Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre?" In other words, "Is that a scroll in your toga, or are you just happy to see me?"

WARNING FOR WIT AND WISDOM SEEKERS:

This little loopy linguistical lens is recommended for giggle-oriented gladiators, lighthearted Latin-lovers and the odd ribald Roman Empire enthusiast or three.

When Things Go Bump In the Night - What's the most important thing to remember?

"DRACO DORMIENS NUNQUAM TITILANDUS: NEVER TICKLE A SLEEPING DRAGON"

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Image Credit: 123rf.com/9290203

Quote Credit: J.K. Rawlings, Harry Potter, - Hogwarts motto

Laughable Latin Lore

Laughable Latin: Witty Latin Phrases for All Occasions
Laughable Latin: Witty Latin Phrases for All Occasions

Have you ever wanted to know how to converse in Latin just like the Romans did (without having to face the dangers of chariot racing)? When the kids are driving you crazy in the back seat of your car with that familiar phrase ... 'are we nearly there yet?', you can reply with grace and aplomb ... "Paene advenimus", or really impress the marvelous munchkins with your unforgettable wise words "Relinque me in pace!" (Leave me in peace!)

 

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Image Credit: Laughable Latin phrase - cafepress.com - 178415705v8

NOW A WORD FROM THE CHEEKY CHERUB

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"Non diu morabor -- I shall not linger long."

QUALES ILLIC HOMUNCULI! WHAT WEIRD LITTLE MUNCHKINS! - (Image Credit: nhuthuypro@flickr.com)

QUALES ILLIC HOMUNCULI! WHAT WEIRD LITTLE MUNCHKINS! - (Image Credit: nhuthuypro@flickr.com)
QUALES ILLIC HOMUNCULI! WHAT WEIRD LITTLE MUNCHKINS! - (Image Credit: nhuthuypro@flickr.com)

WHEN IN ROMAN DO AS THE ROMANS DO:

How do you get your hair to do that?

Quomodo cogis comas tuas sic videri?

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Image Credit: bcanada92@flickr.com

VENI, VIDI, VELCRO - I CAME, I SAW, I STUCK AROUND!

VENI, VIDI, VELCRO - I CAME, I SAW, I STUCK AROUND!
VENI, VIDI, VELCRO - I CAME, I SAW, I STUCK AROUND!

"Apudne the vel me?" -- Your place or mine?

"Apudne te vel me?" -- Your place or mine?
"Apudne te vel me?" -- Your place or mine?

It's Never Too Late To Lure The Latin Way!

How To Seduce, Pleasure and Titillate in Classical Latin
How To Seduce, Pleasure and Titillate in Classical Latin

So you want to become the next red-hot Latin lover like Lothario -- well here's the book for you!

 

NOT ALL SNAKES LIVE IN THE GRASS...

"Populus me sibilat" -- Everybody hisses at me.

LATIN LANGUAGE LIBRARY - For those who are keen to learn a forgotten language.

Getting Started with Latin: Beginning Latin for Homeschoolers and Self-Taught Students of Any Age (English and Latin Edition)
Getting Started with Latin: Beginning Latin for Homeschoolers and Self-Taught Students of Any Age (English and Latin Edition)

This is an excellent resource for anyone wishing to explore the foundation of the romance languages.

 
Latin Grammar (Quick Study Academic)
Latin Grammar (Quick Study Academic)

A quick refresher for Latin language learners - plus it also doubles as a wise wall hanging.

 
Cassell's Standard Latin Dictionary
Cassell's Standard Latin Dictionary

This Latin Dictionary will come in handy for keen Scrabble players or dedicated dictionary collectors.

 
Latin For Dummies
Latin For Dummies

Dorks, dweebs, and duffuses will be really impressed with this handy-how to speak and write in the Latin language.

 
The Complete Idiot's Guide to Learning Latin, 3rd Edition
The Complete Idiot's Guide to Learning Latin, 3rd Edition

Recommended by Intelligent Idiots with an inkling for something different to while away their time.

 

HANDY LATIN PHRASES FOR THE OFFICE

In a world of chaos, calamity, and crisis, there's always room for a few pithy Latin phrases to keep morale up in the corporate zoo and impress your work mates.

"What are you laughing at Jackass?*!"

- Quid rides equus asinus?*!

"There goes my bleeper!"

- Tintinnuntius meus sonat!

"If in doubt, leg it."

- Si dubitas, fuge.

"Seen one, seen'em all."

- Uno viso, omnia visa sunt.

"Seize the tape!"

- Carpe Ductum!

"What? Me worry?"

- Quid? Me anxius sum?

"I came. I saw. I broke wind."

- Veni. Vedi. Flatui.

"What goes around, comes around."

- Id quot circumiret, circumveniat.

"I've got to see a man about a dog."

- Cum homine de cane debeo congredi.

"Accountants don't know how to dress fashionably."

- De gustibus non est disputandum.

"Seize the check!"

- Carpe per diem!

"When all else fails, play dead."

- Quando omni flunkus moritati.

* * *

Pithy persona non grata remarks:

"Just do it!"

Modo fac!

"Not in my backyard!"

Ne ponatur in mea vicinitate!

"Bah! Humbug!"

Phy! Fabulae!

"Go ahead. Make my day!"

- Age. Fac ut gaudeam!

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it!"

Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere!

"I can't hear you, I have a banana in my ear."

- The audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure.

"May barbarians invade your personal space!"

- Utinam barbari spatium proprium tuum invadant.

"Shut up and go away!"

- Tace atque abi.

Oh and by the way, "Have a nice day!" - Die dulce fruimini!

"Nimiast miseria nimis pulchrum esse hominem." - How unbearably tiresome it is to be too handsome!

"Nimiast miseria nimis pulchrum esse hominem." - How unbearably tiresome it is to be too handsome!
"Nimiast miseria nimis pulchrum esse hominem." - How unbearably tiresome it is to be too handsome!

WIT & WISDOM WHEN IT COMES TO WARDROBE:

"Simper ubi sub ubi."

(Always wear clean underwear)

A tippler's toast (from a dude with way too drams of damn in the deft department)

Greetings lady,

Not under-endowed in the nose department,

with not so very beautiful a foot,

nor exactly deep black eyes,

also lacking long slim fingers,

and with a mouth I couldn't really call dry --

with none too pretty a tongue inside it ....

Saleve, nec minimo puella nasso

nec bello pede nec nigris ocellis

nec longis digitis nec ore sicco

nec sane nimis elegante lingua

HANDY LATIN PHRASES FOR PARENTS

Let's face it, raising the younger generation can be a bit of a handful. So here's an educational if not entertaining Latin learning opportunity for the whole family:

"Honey, I'm home."

- Mellita, domi adsum.

"Really Rad, dude!"

- Radicitus, comes!

"What's happening?"

- Quid fit?

"What weird little munchkins!

- Quales illic homunculi!

"No way!"

- Nullo modo!

"Read my lips."

- Labra lege.

"Fat chance!"

- Fors fortis!

I don't want a toaster.

- Fornulum pani lolo.

"Pretty please with a cherry on top! "

- The precor dulcissime supplex!

"I think we're on the same wavelength."

- Credo nos in fluctu eodem esse.

"If Caeser were alive, you'd be chained to an oar."

- Caesar si viveret, ad remum dareris.

"In the good old days, children like you were left to perish on windswept crags!"

- Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem.

Bad kitty! Why don't you use the cat box? I put new litter in it.

- Feles mala! Cur cista non uteris? Stramentum novum in ea pousi.

On the other hand, why don't you give your mother and I a break by sitting on a tuffet...or better yet a fimetum! (Note: "fimetum" is the Latin word for a dunghill)

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Image Credit: skitty25@flickr.com

HANDY LATIN PHRASES FOR PITCHING WOO

Forget about wooing your significant other with a calorie-laden box of chocolates, a pot of petunias to which she is allergic, or a gilt-edged greeting card with a bunch of mundane mumbojumbo.

Just blow a few of these "sweet nothings" in her ear, and watch the fireworks:

"Honey, I'm home."

Mellita, domi adsum.

"Silly moo!

- Inepta!

"Utter ninny!"

- Stultissime!

"Rampant she-devil!"

- Saeva scaeva!

"Those teeth of yours could chew up a flint-stone."

- Dentes vel silicem comesse possunt.

"You know, the Romans invented the art of love."

- Romani quidem artem amatoriam invenerunt.

"Let's engage in some perfidious pillow-talk."

- Voces fallacis amicae.

"It's a sure thing that Woman is the daughter of Delay incarnate."

- Mulier profecto natast ex ipsa mora.

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Image Credit: dorocketpop@flickr.com

"Voces fallacis amicae." - Perfidious pillow-talk!

"Voces fallacis amicae." - Perfidious pillow-talk!
"Voces fallacis amicae." - Perfidious pillow-talk!

A tantalizing tale of a tart and a tiger...

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Puella Rigensis ridebat

Quam tigris in tergo vehebat;

Externa profecta,

Interna revecta,

Risusque cum timgre manebat.

There was a young lady of Riga

Who went for a ride on a tiger;

They returned from the ride

With the lady inside,

And a smile on the face of the tiger.

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Content: Author anonymous: R.L. Greed (ed.) "A Century of Humorous Verse", 1959.

Image Credit: Tiger illustration by mock-turtle@flickr.com

RARE BIRDS

"Amicus versus est rara avis." -- A true friend is a rare bird (even if they are a free range radical!)

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Image Credit: Amanada Woodward@flickr.com

CURIOUS CHARACTER WITH A LATIN NAME

Meet Geococcyx californianus, better known in English as "Road Runner", a cartoon character who is always engaged in an eternal battle of skill and speed with the rather luckless, pathetic, and plan-challenged "Wile E. Coyote".

"Roadrunners" are members of the Cuckoo Bird family who hang out primarily in California (along with all the movie stars), not to mention other warm destinations in Mexico and Central America.

VENI, VIDI, VISA -- I CAME, I SAW, I WENT SHOPPING! (Image Credit: Lottie Frank@flickr.com)

VENI, VIDI, VISA -- I CAME, I SAW, I WENT SHOPPING! (Image Credit: Lottie Frank@flickr.com)
VENI, VIDI, VISA -- I CAME, I SAW, I WENT SHOPPING! (Image Credit: Lottie Frank@flickr.com)

IS THERE A SANTA CLAUS IN LATIN?

Yes Virginia, There is a Santa Claus In Latin -- Vere, Virginia, Sanctus Nicolaus est!

Yes, Virginia, even Santa speaks Latin! - Who said you can't have fun with Latin?

'Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?' On September 21, 1897, the minds and hearts of two people met and in that meeting created magic that has survived more than a century.

Virginia O'Hanlon's earnest question set New York Sun editor Francis Pharcellus Church to writing. Church's reply, a testimony to the existence of Santa Claus, on the marvels of the unseen but very real world of wonder, are now a part of Christmas lore.

And, what makes this classic Christmas tale even more interesting -- is its translation into Latin (the so-called "dead language" which is the basic of so many romance languages (English, French, Italian, and Spanish) that thrive today.

Yes, Virginia, There Is a Santa Claus in Latin!: Vere, Virginia, Sanctus Nicolaus Est! (English and Latin Edition)
Yes, Virginia, There Is a Santa Claus in Latin!: Vere, Virginia, Sanctus Nicolaus Est! (English and Latin Edition)

Learning Latin just got a wee bit easier with this illustrated version of a classic Christmas tale!

 

CHRISTMAS CLANGER - HOW ABOUT A LATIN LAUGH LINE?

The Santa Silly Season has arrived at last.

So here's a lovely little bit of Latin to shout out as you're running around Hell's Half Acre trying to pick up your last minute gifts this year:

Quod ad tempus reservas ista lumina pulchella praemonitoria - ad Saturnalia? - What are you saving those pretty little turn signals for - Christmas?

Beati mites, quoniam istis in ordine stantibus anteponere nosmet ipsos possumus. - Blessed are the meek, because we can cut in front of them in lineups.

Licet mihi venerari pro deo quemlibet, etiam SpongoRoberto QuadratoBracatum et Santa! - I get to worship whomever I want, including SpongeBob SquarePants and Santa!

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Image Credit: twylah.com/Christmas-Preview_02.jpg

Quomodo Invidiousulus nomine Grinchus natalem Christi Abrogaverit (How The Grinch Stole Christmas) - Image Courtesy of Kevin@fli

Quomodo Invidiousulus nomine Grinchus natalem Christi Abrogaverit (How The Grinch Stole Christmas) - Image Courtesy of Kevin@fli
Quomodo Invidiousulus nomine Grinchus natalem Christi Abrogaverit (How The Grinch Stole Christmas) - Image Courtesy of Kevin@fli

The Grinch Who Stole Christmas In Latin! - A Wonderful Gift for Gurus of Grinch and Latin Lovers!

Quomodo Invidiosulus Nomine Grinchus Christi Natalem Abrogaverit: How the Grinch Stole Christmas in Latin (Latin Edition)
Quomodo Invidiosulus Nomine Grinchus Christi Natalem Abrogaverit: How the Grinch Stole Christmas in Latin (Latin Edition)

This little gem will knock your socks off, especially if you're a lover of latin not to mention everyone's favorite Christmas nemesis ..."The Grinch"!

 

Natale Hilare et Annum Faustum, Bozo!

Natale Hilare et Annum Faustum, Bozo!
Natale Hilare et Annum Faustum, Bozo!

AND NOW A WORD FROM THE LOLLYGAGGING & LATIN-LOVING INSTITUTE

Sloth, (one of the seven deadly sins), often frowned upon by the ho-ho-ho-challenged human species. The Latin tagline translates as "sloth breaks one's strength and withers the nerves" which is why witless workaholics can't abide the company of drowsy-headed dilly-dallerers, indifferent indolents or lackadaisical loafers and lollygaggers for that matter.

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Illustration Credit: Peter van Heyden, "Desidia or Sloth".

COWABUNGA CATCH-PHRASES!

How now, brown cow? =

Quone modo nunc, fulve bos?

Don't have a cow, man! =

Noli habere bovis, vir!

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Image Credit: Kazels@flickr.com

PITHY POCKET BOOKS FOR THE PLEASURE-CHALLENGED

Carpe Diem: Put A Little Latin in Your Life
Carpe Diem: Put A Little Latin in Your Life

For those who want a few Latin laugh lines!

 
Amo, Amas, Amat and More (Hudson Group Books)
Amo, Amas, Amat and More (Hudson Group Books)

Gives new meaning to conjugal visits!

 

HOW HARD IS IT TO LEARN LATIN?

"The Romans would never have found time to conquer the world if they had been obliged first to learn Latin."

-- Heinrich Heine --

GIGGLING GUESTS ARE INVITED TO LEAVE THEIR RIPSNORTING REMARKS - Whether you're a classical comedian, a Latin-Lover, or a Pig-Latin afficionado, feel free to le

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    • alphatraduk profile image

      alphatraduk 5 years ago

      Funny lens! Great for a monday morning anyway!

    • theXodus profile image

      theXodus 5 years ago

      I love Latin and this made me chuckle for sure... haha thanks :)

    • MartieG profile image

      MartieG aka 'survivoryea' 5 years ago from Jersey Shore

      Super lens and fun too! Die dulce fruimini :>) ~~~Blessed~~~

    • profile image

      Li-Li-ThePinkBookworm 5 years ago

      Oh wow, that was an interesting, insance and semi-idiotic trip into the world of Latin :) Thank you for creating this chaotic crazy-case of a lens!

      Li Li

    • profile image

      crstnblue 5 years ago

      Very nice lens - thoughtful and fun! :)

    • profile image

      simpsonia 5 years ago

      Great idea for a lens, love it!

    • LotusLandry profile image

      LotusLandry 5 years ago from Southern California

      I only learned about Pig Latin, alas.

    • Diana Wenzel profile image

      Renaissance Woman 6 years ago from Colorado

      Great fun. Thanks!

    • profile image

      cr00059n 6 years ago

      Nice way to learn latin. What a great article. Thanks.

    • tyler70 profile image

      tyler70 6 years ago

      Taking Latin this tear, can't wait until I can speak it fluently

    • totallyclever profile image

      totallyclever 6 years ago

      ''Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum videtur.''

      Translation: ''Anything said in Latin seems profound.''

    • profile image

      promotional-coupons-codes 6 years ago

      Loved your lens. I'm planning to get some of those quotation on my t shirt

    • RhondaAlbom profile image

      Rhonda Albom 6 years ago from New Zealand

      I think the best part of being the new humor angel is finding lenses like this one, that I might not of read otherwise. So many laughs here. My first really big one was, Carpe per diem! Blessed. Please add a link to the appropriate plexo on my humor angel lens.

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      i love your lenses.. all funny stuff now I know what to look for if i'm having a "blue" day :) blog rolling ya.

    • profile image

      scar4 6 years ago

      They're funny, so interesting!

    • wilhb81 lm profile image

      wilhb81 lm 7 years ago

      "Veni, Vedi, Flatui?" Oh my god, roflmao right now lol Nice humor len for sure, awesome!

    • profile image

      BarbaraCasey 7 years ago

      Great fun, thanks. Had to include a link to you on my Latin sayings lens.

    • profile image

      the777group lm 7 years ago

      An excellent lens for a new type of Latin Lover!

      I've favorited it and lensrolled it to my Jokes Addict lens.

    • lasertek lm profile image

      lasertek lm 7 years ago

      This is very funny! I enjoyed this lens so much. 5*

    • CrossCreations profile image

      Carolan Ross 7 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Oh this is hilarious, LOVE it! 5* funny lens.

    • DailyRogue profile image

      DailyRogue 8 years ago

      Funny lens. I like it.

    • TreasuresBrenda profile image

      Treasures By Brenda 8 years ago from Canada

      Nicely done again!

    • BusyQueen profile image

      BusyQueen 8 years ago

      Zippideedooda! 5 *****'s and a lensroll!

    • profile image

      anonymous 8 years ago

      infamus Brinda bird

    • profile image

      totalhealth 9 years ago

      nice lens. really entertaining.

    • profile image

      youhavegottobekidding 9 years ago

      This Lens really gave me a laugh some of those are really funny. And I could really see that you have put a lot of time and hard work to your Lens.

      5 stars for your Very Informative Lens.

    • profile image

      gotiges 9 years ago

      Great lens! I will be using this one - The audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure.

      I have a new language group if you are interested. Search for learn a language, or there is a link from my page learnpolishfree.

      Regards

      Simon

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      anonymous 9 years ago

      Nice lens! 5 stars given! :)

    • profile image

      LeslieBrenner 9 years ago

      Hilarious, thanks for the 5-stary laugh.