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5 best MST3k shorts

Updated on January 12, 2011

Top 5 MST3K Shorts

I've been a Mystery Science Theater 3000 fan since the old days of live TV episodes. Any true, hardcore MST3K afficianado will confess that there are some episodes that really hold up over time -- and then there are some episodes that are kind of, well, not so great. Sometimes the horrible B movies are just too horrible to even be funny.

The shorts, on the other hand -- the shorts are AMAZING! Pound for pound, the MST3K shorts are just plain better than the full episodes.

So, after watching countless episodes over and over and driving my co-workers to distraction with my cackles, hoots and giggles, I've finally determined which 5 MST3K shorts are the very best.

The videos are embedded below so you can actually watch MST3K online while you're supposed to be doing something else. Enjoy!

Best MST3K Short #5: Uncle Jim's Dairy Farm - "You see son, cows are just like us -- they're sinners!"

Two city kids are abandoned by their parents on Uncle Jim's farm of horrors. This video is broken into two parts below.

Personal note: this one made me laugh so hard that I thought I was going to have to be taken to the hospital.

Best MST3K short #4: Hired! - "Guess I shouldn't be trying to sell cars in Amish country..."

This two-part short follows the trials and tribulations of a greasy, pasty man who attempts to sell Chevrolets door-to-door. Then the point of view switches to the unfortunate salesman's manager -- who goes to his dad's house. They drink lemonade together. Then, while smoking a pipe, the dad puts his hanky on his head and berates the sales manager...

"Why, that's almost impossible -- no human being under my employ has ever sold a car."

Best MST3K Short #3: Once Upon A Dream - "Hey -- now they'll get immaculate reception!"

Once upon a time, or maybe twice upon a time, because this story begins where most stories end...

The premise for this short sounds like a fever dream. It starts out in heaven, where a bureau of angels discuss the honeymoon of an earthly couple below. The husband is trying to compose a song for a play, while the wife dances around the house wishing for new appliances and furniture.

I think this film is intended to promote telecommunications, or possibly smoking. It's hard to know for sure.

Best MST3K Short #2: Mr. B Natural - "You gotta inspect your horn, boy -- and wash it every day!"

A prancing androgynous musical pixie shows an impressionable young man how to be popular -- by playing a trumpet.

Words really can't begin to describe the hallucinatory awfulness of this film. It has to be experienced.

Best MST3K Short #1: Out Of This World - "Funeral bread! War bread!"

An angel and a devil fight over the career of a -- wait for it -- bread salesman!

Did you know there was a special department in heaven that keeps track of the sales records of all bread salesmen?

Although I'm an expert on all things MST3K, I'm interested in hearing what you think, too. Please let me know whether you agree with my choices or you think I'm full of it. Thanks!

Your favorite MST3K short? - Weigh in!

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    • christopherwell profile image

      christopherwell 5 years ago

      Hello! I featured this lens on MST3K vs. Giant Monsters.

    • georgevtucker profile image
      Author

      georgevtucker 6 years ago

      @dukethepcdr: "And me, all outta blow..."

      "Now they'll get immaculate reception!"

      "Aim high, sister!"

    • georgevtucker profile image
      Author

      georgevtucker 6 years ago

      @dukethepcdr: Mr. B Natural is one of my huge favorites. Why is she a Mr.? How does she appear in the boy's bedroom?

      And I think I've seen Mr. B appear on a couple of other host segments, not just the Thanksgiving dinner one (although that's hilarious, too -- "I love you, Mr. B...")

    • dukethepcdr profile image

      dukethepcdr 6 years ago

      Mr. B Natural is cool too. Especially when they did the skit where the guy from the Mystery Science Theater Hour hits on "Mr." B Natural during the Thanksgiving dinner. So funny!

    • dukethepcdr profile image

      dukethepcdr 6 years ago

      I love the one where the little kid gets lost at the fair. I forget the name but it's hilarious! The guys are at their best when they do funny lines for little kids. I like the Once Upon a Dream short too. Very bizare and funny.