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Queendom of Quirky

Updated on January 15, 2013

Welcome to the Queendom of Quirky

This light-hearted lens honors all manner of absurd amusement provided principally by a cast of colorful if not crazy characters who reside in the Queendom of Quirky.

The Queendom of Quirky is ruled by a benevolent buxom babe, otherwise known as a majestic Monarch of Mirth, Patroness of Pith and Vinegar, and Diva of Diddlysquat, "H.R.H. Quipping Queen & Empress of Eccentricity", who loves to blow bubbles, tiptoe through the tulips, and play tiddlywinks with some very odd, strange, and unusual people.

It is also home to a truculent team of tactless toadies, a herd of hapless hangers-on, and a nest of navel-gazing numbskulls who enjoy raining on other people's parade, throwing babies out with the bathwater, and listening to the complaints of far too many wet blankets for their own good. Thankfully, the fun-loving folk outnumber the wimps, wusses and worrywarts.

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Image Credit: Long Live the Queen - Nostalgic Collage@flickr.com

H.R.H. QUIPPING QUEEN & EMPRESS OF ECCENTRICITY - She who must be obeyed or, at the very least, be easily amused!

Oh Joy It's the Merry Month of May! - And "National Kiss A Frog Day" on May 31 in the Queendom of Quirky!

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Image Credit: familyfuncartoons.com/free-kids-coloring-pages

So exactly when did the Queendom of Quirky come into being?

Don't despair if you can't find the origin of the Queendom of Quirky in a Big Book of Bumpf or even marked on a regular Gregorian calendar. Everything is a tad mixed up in the Queendom of Quirky, so it's not surprising that the National Holiday tends to fall on the 32nd day of 13th month in the Great Snoring calendar, or perhaps it's the millisecond moment of the Big Bang when everything began (regrettably scientists are still working feverishly to discover precisely when this blessed ever event happened).

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Image Credit: Harry Clockvert - JoeAlterio, Illustrator@flickr.com

BEWARE OF A BOFFIN BOZO ON A BIKE!

A practitioner of preposterous piffle and positively pompous paraphernalia when not engaged in his ponderous public affairs portfolion), Pennyfarthing Pettyfogger perfected the art of riding on a unicycle soon after he climbed out of the womb.

This unexpected talent demonstrated at an early age, allowed him to bypass a thirty-year career as a boring bean counter, to become a "Super Duper Sychophant" as evidenced by his scintillating "Super Duper Sychophant" symbol emblazoned on his simply snazzy spandex outfit. All of which accounts for why he prefers spinning his wheels as a "Professor of Pedalgogy" at the esteemed University of the Bleeding Obvious, (as opposed to competing for a presitigious and highly lucrative position such as CEO of a marvelous manure and pidgeon poop conglomerate poised to become the largest fragrant-smelling fertilizer exporter in Queendom of Quirky).

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Image Credit: clipart of.com - 22025

PRINCESS POPPYCOCK

Princess Poppycock earned her stripes as a pretentious powder puff after years of service as a scullery somebody at the Grouch & Grumble Chateau, (a popular place among tippling tycoons, slender snake-oil sales associates, and greasy-fingered glad-handing pork-barrel politicians accompanied by their entertaining entourage of boisterous bureaucrats, burly bagmen and manicured media mouthpieces).

Not to be confused with her sister, Princess Prattle (a cosmetically-challenged, chronologically-gifted, person of ice known), Princess Poppycock is an efemcipated, emotionally engaging and enlightened temptron of the first order. Word has it that she never fails to amaze her stupefied suitors with her ability to talk to plants and pet rocks the entire day without losing her rhythm or her train of thought.

And, if that fails to impress her fantasy-challenged friends, frigging family-members or flabberghasted foes, she has a few more tricks up her sleeve, pant-leg, or petticoat. Frankly who else has excelled in the lost art of charming the pants off trees and putting pesky paramours in her pocket, not to mention knowing what to do with knitting needles which has come in handy, especially with a few frisky frogs who think they can have their way with her under the mistletoe?!

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Image Credit: Quinn 68@flickr.com

LORD LEAP-A-LOT

Lord Leap-A-Lot is not what one might call your average Knight in Shining Armor.

In fact, he rarely cleans his armor let alone rides a trusty steed if he can help it (unless it's a photo opportunity). Frankly, all of that sounds like sweat, blood, and tears, which he carefully avoids like the plague. On the other hand, being a "Knight of the Carpet", offers all manner of new possibilities, (which thankfully do not involve slaying any dragons in dungeons, or necessitate having to save damsels in distress from far too much dastardly domestic drudgery).

The truth of the matter is that Lord Leap-A-Lot gets a real kick out of playing leap frog, leaping about in his pajamas, and when push comes to shove, he'll usually opt for a less strenuous sport involving leaping to conclusions.

He hasn't won any medals yet for bravery, unless one counts the booby prize he was awarded by H.R.H. Quipping Queen & Empress of Eccentricity for being unable to fight his way out of a paper bag.

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Image Credit: chumpysclipart.com - 2081

POTTY PEOPLE POLL

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Image Credit: Muffin Man - Zentrum@flickr.com

So what's his crazy claim to fame?

See results

The Queendom of Quirky is an equal opportunity place to reside ... - Especially for the "Know-It-Alls" who sought refuge from the scourge of too many twits on B

If truth be told, these are the faces of far-out-folks whose blank looks match their choice of titillating tomes to be read by mirth-challenged members of the Blank Looks Club.

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Image Credit: Work with me will ya! - bcanada92@flickr.com

SIR BENTLY BOSH-BUNKUM

Sir Bently Bosh-Bunkum was born of blue-blood (attributed to his father, the "Bosh" side of the fanciful family) with a hint of of lime-green (attributed to his mother, the "Bunkum" side of his loopy lineage).

"BoshBun" (as he is called by his fervent fruit-flavored followers, members of the Bewildering Botanical Companion Collective), is a "Shining Inaccessible". Legend has it that since he was born on the wrong side of the bed, he has always had difficulty getting up in the morning which is why he prefers to take grab as much sun as possible, don a sun hat, and wear sun screen all the time (PF50 if you please).

That is why he can usually be found perched atop the Twig of Knowledge trying to read the "Undecipherable Scroll", (a processed tree carcass publication that is used to line the bottom of bird cages, cat litter boxes, or canine cottages owned by priggish pet-lovers in the Queendom of Quirky) and being constantly interrupted by a pika bird wanting to know about "cosmological trigonometry, in three -dimensional nagivational calculus".

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Image Credit: Treeman by W. Heath Robinson - shouldntve.files.wordpress.com/2010/ 01

Last quote source: Douglas Adams, "Mostly Harmless", William Heinemann Ltd., London, England, 1992, p. 191

Lord Ha-Ha - News Anchor on the Happiness & Home-Shopping Network

Lord Ha-Ha is the soothing voice and the unruffled demeanor of a non-plussed news anchor on the popular "Nightly Naptime News", a regular feature on the "Happiness & Home-Shopping Network".

Lord Ha-Ha is noted for his reassuring presentations amidst the "shock and awe" video footage highlighting the aftermath of an uncontained blade liberation (involving the accidental deliverance of incontinent ordnance leading to the arbitrary deconstruction of a previously-enjoyed eco-friendly green space filled with genetically-engineered four-leaf clovers), and an unexpected terrain alteration (involving a cutting-edge garden tool and a once-upon-a-time well-manicured lawn).

He won the "Piffle Prize" for his detailed coverage of a reverse engineering project (involving a technologically-advanced tea bag designed to grow and harvest itself, package itself without the intervention of human hands, and pop itself into a teapot plus pour itself into a teacup without burning the lips or tongue of ninety-year-old ninny-broth enthusiasts).

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Image Credit: robertabaird.com

Duchess of Dig-In-Her-Heels

Duchess of Dig-In-Her-Heels is an accomplished ankle-biter and founder of the little known, "Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Commas". Never known to suffer fools lightly, including the Blatherhood of Insufferable Stuff, Holy Gregarians & Inhospitable Hogs, she has no need to toss a penny in a pondering pool, throw a pinch of salt over her left shoulder, or rub a rabbit's foot to enjoy a bit of good luck.

When, she experiences the occasional causey-webs or mulligrubs, she just picks her self up and hops on a horse trotting through town yelling at the top of her lungs, "Out of my way, you little ninny-hammers, nincompoops, and nosebags -- I'm a member of the mutant albino genetic-recessive global minority of the larger than average foot-loose and fancy free females who know how to have a good time!"

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Image Credit: happyholidays.blog.blogspot.com/2009/09

Harold Hide-Me-Not, Head-Honcho of the Gumshoeless Guy Group

Harold Hide-Me-Not, (Head-Honcho of the Gumshoeless Guy Group), is a member of a traditionally underrepresented community in the Queendom of Quirky.

Harold comes from a rather long line of fine footmen, before a rather unfortunate encounter with a pair of four-legged fetlocks while in the employ of one Duchess of Dig-In-Her-Heels.

He can best be described as an unobtrustive, unorthodox, unpremisesed business person who from time to time when the spirit moves him, engages in the random solicitation of informal sources of interim financing for a personal economic recovery program during a period of unprecedented quantitative easing necessitated by the billion-dollar bail out of bars, pubs, and taverns after the collapse of a pansy ponzie scheme perpetrated upon the Queendom by Lady Light-Fingers and her horrible housebroken husband, Prince of Piflering.

Meet the Precocious Parkbench People - MORE ENTERTAINING THAN A THREE-RING CIRCUS - In fact, why not join in, the more clowns the merrier!

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Image Credit: theartbook.com - genimage - rosadodd

WHAT THE F*** DAY - APRIL FIRST

April 1st (What the F*** Day) is one of the most celebrated silly secular holidays in the Queendom of Quirky.

It is day devoted to honoring every imaginable insane invention created by a large assortment of twits, turkeys, and techie types (who if not given the recognition they deserve would undoubtedly cause far too much merriment, mirth and mayhem, resulting in injuries associated with people splitting their sides laughing or else, heaven forbid, expiring from laughter).

The photo above captures the look of sheer, unadulterated delight in displaying this curious contraption called a "Two-Hands & Tootsie Transporter" ingeniously invented by one Nestor Nether-Wallop, a technologically-inclined talkingstock and tavern fox, (who formerly resided in Lower Piddle on the Marsh in Gloucestershire, England) but now makes his home in the Queendom of Quirky together with a messy menagerie of mina birds plus three flamboyant French hens, two twitty turtle doves, and a pesky partridge in a pear tree.

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Image Credit: corbisimages.com - IH170409

Quirky Quarters - Titillating Tomes That Need A Home

The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Anyone who says the travels of a towel-guy through the galaxy to the end of time to discover the true reason for Earth's existence isn't incredibly funny should read this classic by the one and only Douglas Adams.

 
The Color of Magic: A Discworld Novel
The Color of Magic: A Discworld Novel

Frankly, who wouldn't enjoy a romp through a fantasy world filled with colorful characters like a dropout wizard who failed Unseen University, (the Wizard's universal school), TwoFlower, (the tourist with the living luggage), and elephants that stand atop Great A'Tuin, (the star turtle, who moves with extreme deliberance over tens of thousands of years, and has thoughts so vast that time itself pales into insignificance)?

 
Slaughterhouse-Five: A Novel (Modern Library 100 Best Novels)
Slaughterhouse-Five: A Novel (Modern Library 100 Best Novels)

Said to be one of Kurt Vonnegut's best classic tales of absurdity gone wild...this is a must for those who appreciate the seeing life through a different pair of rose colored spectacles.

 
Amphigorey: Fifteen Books
Amphigorey: Fifteen Books

Some may describe "Gorey" as a man of morbid mirth, but this creepy collection originates from the word "amphigory", meaning a nonsense verse or composition. Those who appreciate the world of amusing art mixed with oddball verse and prose will certainly love this little gem!

 

The Queen's Quirky Stuff Store

Whatever Clock
Whatever Clock

Perfect for those who couldn't give a sweet tweet about what time it is!

 

Feedback from the Front Lines of Funny Fantasy - C'mon tickle my funnybone with something comical or quirky.

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    • LotusLandry profile image

      LotusLandry 

      6 years ago from Southern California

      Great images that you have shown!

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