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Retirement Job

Updated on April 3, 2012

Finding the perfect job

The path to finding a perfect job is long and hard. What may seem a perfect job for one could be less than desirable for another.This is a tongue-in-cheek lens about finding the perfect job after many years of job-hopping. A friend e-mailed me this "punny" joke about the perfect job which I enjoyed a lot and I decided to add Flickr photos and make a fun lens out of it. This is all in jest and not to be taken seriously. Let's have some fun.

How I found the perfect job.

1. My first job was in an orange juice factory, but I got canned. I couldn't concentrate.

Photo Credit Flickr: David Boyle

2. Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack. Couldn't hack it. They gave me the axe.

Photo Credit Flickr: Marla and Joe

3. I tried being a tailor, but wasn't suited for it. Anyway it was just a sew-sew job.

Photo Credit Flickr: Pam Hoffman

4. Next, I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was too exhausting.

Photo Credit Flckr:river2

5. I tried being a chef, to add a little spice to my life, but didn't have the thyme.

6. I attempted to work in a deli, but any way I sliced it, I couldn't cut the mustard.

Photo Credit Flickr: kristen60647

7. My best job was as a musician, but eventually found I wasn't noteworthy.

Photo Credit Flickr: El Gregein

8. I studied a long time to become a doctor, but didn't have any patience.

Photo Credit Flickr:Okinawa Soba

9. I tried to be a model in a clothing store, but they said I wasn't suited for the job.

Photo Credit Flickr: laurawennstrom

10. I became a fisherman, but discovered I couldn't live on my net income.

Photo Credit Flickr: Diamanx

11. Got a job in pool maintenance, but the work was just too draining.

Photo Credit Flickr:slworking2

12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.

Photo Credit Flickr:sirwiseowl

13. I finally got a job as a historian, until I realized there was no future in it.


14. My next job was working in Starbucks, but quit because it was the same old grind.

Photo Credit Flickr:llgaryll

15. I also tried working for a footwear company but they gave me the boot.

Photo Credit Flickr: dearanxiety

16. My next job was in a bakery but I didn't make enough dough.

I was a jack-of-all-trades

Master of none

17. I used to be a carpenter, but I found the job too boring.

Photo credit:nightcrawler1961

18. I worked weekends as a beekeeper until they told me to buzz off.

Photo Credit:Bright Beehive

19. I was an amateur wrestler for a while, until I lost my grip.

Photo Credit: JapanesePhotos.Asia

20. My job as a horticulturist eventually went to pot.

Photo Credit: angeldaniel

21. Then I worked in a blanket factory, but it folded up.

Photo Credit:amicablebitch

22. After working 24 hours straight in a watch factory, I decided to call it a day.

23. I worked at a candle factory until the business tapered off after the holidays.

Photo Credit:Sofitel El Gezirah

24. I was a construction worker for a while until I fell into the cement and made a bad impression.

And so...


T'is so true...

Retirement is the time when you never do all the things you intended to do when you were still working.

Take this poll about retirement.

Which one are you?

See results

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What Color Is Your Parachute? for Retirement, Second Edition:

Planning a Prosperous, Healthy, and Happy Future

What You Don't Know About Retirement:

A Funny Retirement Quiz

Supercharged Retirement:

Ditch the Rocking Chair, Trash the Remote, and Do What You Love

Great retirement gift ideas from Amazon


"Retirement . . . is when you stop living at work and begin working at living"- Anonymous

Now that you have the time to travel, check out these links.

Set yourself free and relax in exotic places like Maldives.

Great rockers to sit and relax in.

SIt back and sink into these great rocking chairs. Not the usual ones that granny used to sit in. Read a great book, do some birdwatching, watch your favorite program, enjoy a nice cup of tea or coffee with your friends.

Do leave your two cents before you retire from this lens. - I would love to hear from you.

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    • profile image


      6 years ago

      A lot of fun!

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      Ha ha ha ... too funny ... "I wanted to be a food and pastry writer on Squidoo, but didn't make enough dough!"

    • snazzify lm profile image

      Katie Harp 

      6 years ago

      blessed by a squid angel :) <3

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      I'm going to retire to my bed now. Well done.

    • Coreena Jolene profile image

      Coreena Jolene 

      6 years ago

      Fun lens! I enjoyed how you put the joke to photos. Very clever. That pool pic is a disaster, I guess those folks never heard of being electrocuted! (your bee pic disappeared). I have retired only a few months ago and I am loving it!

    • ashroc profile image

      Jen Wood 

      6 years ago from Australia

      great lens, a creative spin on jobs and retirement

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      Very funny...I smiled all the way through! Thanks for the "day-brightener."

    • spartakct profile image


      7 years ago

      cool lens! Enjoyed it...

    • gleken profile image


      7 years ago

      Thanks for the very funny lens. Laughed so much

    • jlshernandez profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago

      Thanks so much Charles for your support. It is alway a nice surprise to see you visit.

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Returning again for the dose of medicine and to prop it up the charts! :)

      Password below: humorous

    • traveller27 profile image


      7 years ago

      Nice way to start my "retired" day :))

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      This lens put a smile on my face. Sadly it also made me want to retire already and I am still in college. Oh well, only another 40 or so more years. :)

    • CozyKitty profile image


      7 years ago

      What a great idea to put photos with those "groaners!" It somehow made them a lot funnier having the visual right there, and the pictures matched perfectly! The addition of the photos made the comedic timing just right. Great job!

      ;-) Karin

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Just too good... So tired.. so, I retired! :)

    • JillY88 profile image


      7 years ago

      Great, absolutely loved it. I'm no where near retirement yet but sounds great. Put a smile on my face. Thanks.

    • Spook LM profile image

      Spook LM 

      7 years ago

      Brilliant. Loved it and thanks for the laughs.

    • CruiseReady profile image


      7 years ago from East Central Florida

      Such a cute lens, and my kind of humor, too. I chuckled at the historian one.

    • UKGhostwriter profile image


      7 years ago

      Love the puns! very funny lens!

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Interesting take on retirement jobs. There are lots of ways to earn money in this world. I always need to be doing something creative.

    • MamaRuth profile image


      7 years ago

      I enjoyed this amusing lens. Great job of selecting photographs to fit the text.

    • mbgphoto profile image

      Mary Beth Granger 

      7 years ago from O'Fallon, Missouri, USA

      Love the last quote!! I see retirement as the next phase of my is great!

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      A great fun lens and enjoyed every bit of it. Thumbs up for the sheer fun moments with pictures.


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