- Entertainment and Media
Seven Habits of Highly Defective People
Tough to quantify in terms of percentage but the ‘defective’ are amongst us. These specimens, are they mere glitches in the evolutionary cycle? People just born this way? Or people who’ve caved to the pressures of modern life? They surely seem to be devolving as years go by.
And if so, why are they increasing in number? Why haven’t they been weeded out of the gene pool? Are they fulfilling a significant purpose for the human race?
Whatever may be the case: beware! Defective people don’t come with a warning sign. They seem perfectly normal, but rest assured, they are freaks of nature. All the yoga and vipassana in the world can’t bring them to walk around with the awareness of their defective habits.
You’ll find them everywhere: on the train, in your office, in the mall and for some of us, even in the mirror! The trick, my friend, is to identify them and build coping mechanisms that’ll help you survive and preserve yourself from these defective human specimens.
So here I bring to your attention the Seven Habits of Highly Defective People.
1) They are Pro-Inactive:
That means they go out of their way to be inactive. The kind that won’t change the channel for months if the remote batteries are dead. They will even procrastinate while procrastinating. Often referred to as PPP’s: People with Plastic Plants. Watering and caring for plants is just too much responsibility.This habit has basically evolved as a mechanism to keep unwanted factors such as stress, relationship issues, responsibility, failure etc. at bay. The smallest change in their routine or a hint of accountability can trigger actual ailments like the sniffles or headaches or then just a plain bummed mood.
2) They don’t begin with the end in mind:
They have no idea what they want in any situation and they usually don’t even care. They are aimless, meandering souls that can’t make a simple decision on their own. Or that annoying passenger who gets on the bus with no idea where she wants to go.
3) They put first things last:
Their priorities are misplaced. If Maslow’s pyramid is anything to go by, theirs is an obtuse triangle. They are the sort that have self actualization somewhere far away from the pyramid. Theymay desireit but their mundane and insignificant activities take precedence over what’s really important. I mean why bond with your friends and family when that would mean missing hanging out with Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, Miranda and watching your favorite Sex and the City episode over and over again.
4) They think lose-lose:
If I lose, I’ll take you down with me, that’s their motto. They could very well be closeted optimists but they love spreading the magic powder of pessimism. A highly evolved specimen once said: ‘It’s better to have loved and lost than to have not loved at all.’ But for them, it’s why love at all, since we are going to lose anyway. If their golf game sucks, rather then improving their swing, most of their time will be spent sabotaging their partner’s putting game by giving them the wrong tips.
5) They seek first to be understood, then to understand:
Sometimes they don’t even really care if they truly do understand, as long as they have been understood. It’s empathy that they seek and apathy that they dish out. They have programmed sympathetic responses that they can doll out to a friend in need. But are sure to pick friends who’ll genuinely listen to them. Ironically, their favorite expression is ‘I understand.’
6) They un- synergize:
They go out of their way to break synergy. Isolation is key, each specimen to himself. Even on the Playstation, they’d rather play alone and against the computer. They build invisible caves around themselves, caves with no opening and imaginary doubled bolted locks. You are going to have to hack your way through those if you want to get to the person. If in the event that they are forced to work on a team project, they’d rather focus on the 1% that’s not working than no the 99% that is working.
7) They blunt their saw:
Any new skill that is acquired is promptly lost mainly because it requires hard work, practice and perseverance. They will never work towards enhancing a skill. It’s just not worth it. Besides many of them rather be spoon fed than indulge in self learning. It’s like potty training a stubborn toddler. No matter what tools of learning you give the defective, they will always find a way to blunt the saw. They are the first ones to complain when Facebook changes their layout or they are forced to upgrade their computer’s operating system.
If you come into contact with any such specimens make sure you look out for these habit. Be especially vigilant if you are in a relationship with a specimen like this. They’ll suck and convert you into a ‘defective’ before you even know it.
A word of caution, they are perfectly functional members of society and are multiplying. In case of an encounter with a specimen like this, don’t waste your time trying to educating them, just run! Changing a ‘defective’ is next to impossible.
The worst-case scenario is when you find a defective specimen staring back at you in the mirror. In that case there’s no escape. Well you aren’t entirely doomed. You just have to be willing to take a long arduous path to self-recovery.
You might want to start by reading:
While there may be technology for all sorts of things these days there is nothing to identify the defectives amongst use. I am currently looking for venture capital for my tech startup that will be creating and marketing an app for smart phones and tablet devices that will help users identify defective specimens at a click of a button. Seed funding and donation is welcome.
Links to Some of my Defective Hubs
- Unconventional Stress Busting Techniques
Is the stress monster controlling your life? Here are some unconventional, quirky and outright dangerous techniques of dealing with stress. Try at your own risk.
- How to Stop Verbal Diarrhea
Do you have the habit of talking crap often? Do you spit out shit every time you speak? If so, you may be suffering from Verbal Diarrhea. If you or someone you know is suffering from this condition, here’s what to do…
- I am a Facebook Addict
“Hi I’m Zara and I’m a facebookolich,” “Hi Zara!” came the rhythmic burst of salutation. Yes! You guessed right, I was in a support group for facebook junkies. I had to check into a digital rehab facility. I can relate instances where I’ve woken up i