ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Seven Habits of Highly Defective People

Updated on June 20, 2012
The Seven Habits of Highly Defective People by Sweet Zara
The Seven Habits of Highly Defective People by Sweet Zara | Source

Tough to quantify in terms of percentage but the ‘defective’ are amongst us. These specimens, are they mere glitches in the evolutionary cycle? People just born this way? Or people who’ve caved to the pressures of modern life? They surely seem to be devolving as years go by.

And if so, why are they increasing in number? Why haven’t they been weeded out of the gene pool? Are they fulfilling a significant purpose for the human race?

Whatever may be the case: beware! Defective people don’t come with a warning sign. They seem perfectly normal, but rest assured, they are freaks of nature. All the yoga and vipassana in the world can’t bring them to walk around with the awareness of their defective habits.

You’ll find them everywhere: on the train, in your office, in the mall and for some of us, even in the mirror! The trick, my friend, is to identify them and build coping mechanisms that’ll help you survive and preserve yourself from these defective human specimens.

So here I bring to your attention the Seven Habits of Highly Defective People.

1) They are Pro-Inactive:

That means they go out of their way to be inactive. The kind that won’t change the channel for months if the remote batteries are dead. They will even procrastinate while procrastinating. Often referred to as PPP’s: People with Plastic Plants. Watering and caring for plants is just too much responsibility.This habit has basically evolved as a mechanism to keep unwanted factors such as stress, relationship issues, responsibility, failure etc. at bay. The smallest change in their routine or a hint of accountability can trigger actual ailments like the sniffles or headaches or then just a plain bummed mood.

2) They don’t begin with the end in mind:

They have no idea what they want in any situation and they usually don’t even care. They are aimless, meandering souls that can’t make a simple decision on their own. Or that annoying passenger who gets on the bus with no idea where she wants to go.

3) They put first things last:

Their priorities are misplaced. If Maslow’s pyramid is anything to go by, theirs is an obtuse triangle. They are the sort that have self actualization somewhere far away from the pyramid. Theymay desireit but their mundane and insignificant activities take precedence over what’s really important. I mean why bond with your friends and family when that would mean missing hanging out with Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, Miranda and watching your favorite Sex and the City episode over and over again.

4) They think lose-lose:

If I lose, I’ll take you down with me, that’s their motto. They could very well be closeted optimists but they love spreading the magic powder of pessimism. A highly evolved specimen once said: ‘It’s better to have loved and lost than to have not loved at all.’ But for them, it’s why love at all, since we are going to lose anyway. If their golf game sucks, rather then improving their swing, most of their time will be spent sabotaging their partner’s putting game by giving them the wrong tips.

5) They seek first to be understood, then to understand:

Sometimes they don’t even really care if they truly do understand, as long as they have been understood. It’s empathy that they seek and apathy that they dish out. They have programmed sympathetic responses that they can doll out to a friend in need. But are sure to pick friends who’ll genuinely listen to them. Ironically, their favorite expression is ‘I understand.’

6) They un- synergize:

They go out of their way to break synergy. Isolation is key, each specimen to himself. Even on the Playstation, they’d rather play alone and against the computer. They build invisible caves around themselves, caves with no opening and imaginary doubled bolted locks. You are going to have to hack your way through those if you want to get to the person. If in the event that they are forced to work on a team project, they’d rather focus on the 1% that’s not working than no the 99% that is working.

7) They blunt their saw:

Any new skill that is acquired is promptly lost mainly because it requires hard work, practice and perseverance. They will never work towards enhancing a skill. It’s just not worth it. Besides many of them rather be spoon fed than indulge in self learning. It’s like potty training a stubborn toddler. No matter what tools of learning you give the defective, they will always find a way to blunt the saw. They are the first ones to complain when Facebook changes their layout or they are forced to upgrade their computer’s operating system.

If you come into contact with any such specimens make sure you look out for these habit. Be especially vigilant if you are in a relationship with a specimen like this. They’ll suck and convert you into a ‘defective’ before you even know it.

A word of caution, they are perfectly functional members of society and are multiplying. In case of an encounter with a specimen like this, don’t waste your time trying to educating them, just run! Changing a ‘defective’ is next to impossible.

The worst-case scenario is when you find a defective specimen staring back at you in the mirror. In that case there’s no escape. Well you aren’t entirely doomed. You just have to be willing to take a long arduous path to self-recovery.

You might want to start by reading:

While there may be technology for all sorts of things these days there is nothing to identify the defectives amongst use. I am currently looking for venture capital for my tech startup that will be creating and marketing an app for smart phones and tablet devices that will help users identify defective specimens at a click of a button. Seed funding and donation is welcome.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • shalini sharan profile image

      shalini sharan 5 years ago from Delhi

      this was a rather interesting hub

    • sweetzara profile image

      Zara Rasul 5 years ago from Mumbai, India

      hi gmwilliams and deergha thank you so much for the read. I'm glad you guys enjoyed it.

    • dghbrh profile image

      deergha 5 years ago from ...... a place beyond now and beyond here !!!

      Oh my........ really interestingly defective(pun intended) hub.....well, first in my I really loved the word "DEFECTIVE" so much.......had a great hub dear, voted up and sharing too.......:-)

    • gmwilliams profile image

      Grace Marguerite Williams 5 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      I love this satorial spot on analysis of the totally inane and lame among us. Voted up for awesome !

    • sweetzara profile image

      Zara Rasul 5 years ago from Mumbai, India

      Hi SidKemp, I love the 7 habits too! thanks for sharing this!

      Gerg thanks for the kind words

      Hi Phdast7. Thanks you so much. Your comment made my day... makes me want to keep writing. I look forward to reading your work.

    • phdast7 profile image

      Theresa Ast 5 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      This was a clever and funny satire. You write well. You made me wonder what books I have read that I could flip upside down. Nice work. :)

    • Gerg profile image

      Gerg 5 years ago from California

      Clever and well done - great hub!

    • SidKemp profile image

      Sid Kemp 5 years ago from Boca Raton, Florida (near Miami and Palm Beach)

      I'm a big fan of 7 Habits and I use it with my coaching clients. I'm going to share this - maybe they'll wash out their plastic pants and get their butts in gear!

    • sweetzara profile image

      Zara Rasul 5 years ago from Mumbai, India

      Haha Thanks again. But the thing is that I have come across a lot more defective people so I thought it was time for this guide.

    • profile image

      Sooner28 5 years ago

      You're really clever you know that. Especially since I've read Covey's book, this was great!

    • sweetzara profile image

      Zara Rasul 5 years ago from Mumbai, India

      Hi PegCole17 Thanks for stopping by and reading my hub... I need to stop being Pro-Inactive and start writing another hub! :0)

    • PegCole17 profile image

      Peg Cole 5 years ago from Dallas, Texas

      Very witty use of Seven habits. I liked your wording on this phrase: "It’s empathy that they seek and apathy that they dish out." How many I've known like that. I love it...Pro Inactive. Quite Politically Correct. We can't say "lazy" anymore.

    • sweetzara profile image

      Zara Rasul 5 years ago from Mumbai, India

      Thanks Denise and I appreciate you keeping the plants away from the death factory lol! There isn’t a support group Im aware of but it’s time someone started one!

    • denisemai profile image

      Denise Mai 5 years ago from Idaho

      You had me at the title and kept me with the high quality of your writing. But, hey--I have plastic plants. I am a notorious plant killer. It's just mean to convict a living plant to the death factory that is my home. So, is there a support group available? "My name is Denise and I am a 'PPP'." Great job. Here's an up vote.