As the intelligent other half of me, I will be writing the occasional lens or blog or whatever in order to inform sockpuppet wannabes about the only way to be a sockpuppet - otherwise your shelf life is more pointless that wasps.
If you really want to become a sockpuppet, you will need to understand the Fine Art Of Deviant Skills. Without understanding this base art, you will at best be nothing more than a slightly annoying irritant. And your sole purpose in life is to cuase uproar and anger.
If you don't meet the strict SP Regulations, you may as well find an alternative online career, such as spamming or spreading weird fetish pictures around the internet superhighway.
Check out the list below. You need to at least have five or so of the required slills before you can be considered an SP Apprentice. Then and only then will you be allowed entrance to the A.S.P. Academy of Sock Puppetry.
- I have personality defects. I.e. unresolved issues y/n
- I'm just mean y/n
- I've annoyed everyone around me. I want to try anonymous folks y/n
- I like to wind people up y/n
- I don't trust anyone to watch my back. So I like to watch my own y/n
- I hear voices from God. Or maybe that's just my other self y/n
- I'm only happy when others are fighting y/n
- I hate anyone who's got a higher IQ than I have y/n
- I'm a cowardly bas***d y/n
- I loathe anyone with talent y/n
If you cover a minimum of five, you're set. Eight and it's Superstar Sockpuppetry for you. If you hot all ten maybe you should go see a doctor or better still, just stay indoors.
Sockpuppet Know How
Sockpuppet know how is a natural skill, in the main. However, some of the skill can be learned, though you may have to put in some practice before you're ready to unleash your crap on unsuspecting forums.
You will also need to memorize the following phrase. It's the Sockpuppet Mantra.
sockpuppetry - its not poetry in motion. Its chaos unleashed
Now you have to start practising. Which is quite easy. Just find a random forum by using Google. Join it and pretend you're an average Joe. Then, when everyone thinks you're ok you simply start ebing disuptive.
For this you have to make a second account. When you've got a secondary account, you have to start swtiching. First say something from your first account then switch and answer yourself. You can say what you like. You can be nice to yourself or nasty. It's more fun when your're mean to yourself but you might make yourself feel a bit bad.
You could maybe comment on something with your first account, disgaree with someone (even if you really agree) then wait for someone to disgaree back. Then you swap accounts and defend yourself.
Then you have to keep this up. Your aim is to annoy the hell out of everyone.
Sockpuppet opinion poll
i think sockpuppets
Now go away and practice. Only come back when you can prove that you've been mildly annoying. Then we, the Sockpuppet, can measure whether or not you're worthy of educating, then setting loose on the world of decent people.
Now go forth - and cause a little chaos.