ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

The Lighter Side of Life

Updated on January 1, 2013

Welcome to the Lighter Side of LIfe

It is said by some that life is a beach...you know, the place where you can watch the ebb and flow of the tides, or just jump in and dog paddle if the spirit moves you.

Speaking of spirits, it's also probably why God invented sandflies or flotsam and jetsam, just to add a little variety to blue skies and smooth sailing.

Frankly, if you can't find a blinking beach and instead find yourself up a stream without a canoe, a paddle, or even a personal flotation device, having an appreciation of the lighter side of life will make it a whole lot easier to cope with the bears, bugs, and Big Foot, all of whom are eager to greet you.

Ogden Nash on "What I know About Life"

It has been said that Ogden Nash's poetry is nimble and naughty, lyrical and laughable, indeed sharply peentrating and lighter than air -- which is why his verse bears the unmistakable stamp of one of America's authentic comic geniuses.

WHAT I KNOW ABOUT LIFE

I have recently been pondering the life expectancy which the Bible allots to man,

And at this point I figure I have worked my way through nine fourteenths of my hypothetical span.

I have been around a bit and met many interseting people and made and lost some money and acquired in reverse order a family and a wife,

And by now I should have drawn some valuable conclusions abouve life.

Well I have learned that life is something about which you can't conclude anything except that it is full of vicissitudes,

And where you expect logic you only come across eccentricitudes.

Life has a tendency to obfuscate and bewilder,

Such as fating us to spend the first part of our lives being embarrassed by our parents and the last part being embarrassed by our childrer.

Life is constantly presenting us with experiences which are unprecedented and depleting,

Such as a friend who starts drinking at three in the afternoon and explains it's only to develop a hearty appetite for dinner because it's unhealthy to drink without eating.

Life being what it is I don't see why everybody doesn't develop an ulcer,

Particularly Mrs. Martingale, the wife of a prominent pastry cook from Ulsa.

He had risen to fame and fortune after starting as a humble purveyor of noodles,

So he asked her what she wanted for her birthday and she said a new Studebaker and he thought she said a new strudel baker and she hated strudels.

So all I know about life is that it has been well said

That such things can't happen to a person when they are dead.

__________

Image Credit: Quote image courtesy of casiestewart.blogspot.com

Quoted poetry from "The Pocket Book of Ogden Nash", by Ogden Nash, Pocket Books, Inc., New York, 1954, p. 7

TAKE IT FROM A TOP DOG: - Life is like a ten-speed bike. Most of us have gears we never use.

type=text
type=text

On the other hand, if you believe that a woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle...you're probably a female in need of some retail therapy to give life a little more meaning!

____________

Image Credit: Life is like a bike - Charles M. Schulz, cartoonist - Peanuts comic strip.

How to put "fun" in fundamentals:

type=text
type=text

And, if that doesn't work, try speaking Pig Latin, talking to plants, or smiling and waving at perfect strangers...it might be your only ticket to sanity and serendipity today!

_______________

Image Credit: Vimrod cartoon created by Ralph Lazar & Lisa Swerling - vimrod.com

Life Is All About Clowning Around...

"Life is tough. But then again, next to what?" -- Anonymous

"Life is something to do when you can't sleep." -- Fran Lebowitz

"Life is what you stumble into when you've been expecting much more." -- Anonymous

"Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast." -- Douglas Adams

" If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner. " -- Tallulah Bankhead

"Choose your rut carefully. You may be in it for the next ten years." -- Anonymous

"If life is a bowl full of cherries, what am I doing in the pits?" -- Erma Bombeck

"If you think that nothing in life is impossible...try yawning with your mouth closed." -- Anonymous

"The first thing which I can record concerning myself is, that I was born. These are wonderful words. This life, to which neither time nor eternity can bring diminution - this everlasting living soul, began. My mind loses itself in these depths." -- Groucho Marx

"Life is like riding an elevator. Sometimes someone pushes your button, sometimes no one does. Upon entering you get shafted, then you have your ups and downs. And what is really annoying is that sometimes the power goes out and you're stuck between floors with some aliens from outer-space looking for a joy-ride." -- Anonymous

Mouthy Maxine Knows the Secret to Life:

type=text
type=text

If life is for the birds then how come... - God didn't give that homo sapien sitting on my nest egg a brain?

type=text
type=text

____________

Image Credit: Visual metaphor - wicked studios@flickr.com

In the Book of Life, the answers aren't in the back.

"Sometimes I lie awake at night and I ask, 'Is life a multiple choice test or is it a true or false test?' ...Then a voice comes to me out of the dark and says, "We hate to tell you this but life is a thousand word essay."

On the other hand, life is like an ice cream cone... You have to learn to lick it!"

____________

Charles M. Schulz (The Complete Peanuts 1959-1960)

Leading A Happy Fulfilling Life Is All About Priorities - Brush Your Teeth, Take A Bath, and Wear a Big Smile Every Day (even if you live in a swamp like me!)

type=text
type=text

______________

Image Credit: Ron Leishman illustration - clipartof.com/438133

"One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory."

-- Rita Mae Brown --

It's A Laughable Life Poll - Finish this laugh line...

_____________

Image Credit: clipartoday.com/5866

If life is a beach...

See results

Every cloud has a silver lining so...

Okay, so neither your Fairy Godmother nor the small pea of happiness have shown up on your front lawn yet...don't sweat...there's always tomorrow.

In the meantime, why not practice appreciating the punny side of life. After all, as Samuel Johnson once said, "A pun is the lowest form of wit, It does not tax the brain a bit;" which is why it's worth a second look:

-- What is a precocious baby? -- A flash in the pram naturally!

-- What is a jittery monarch? -- A nervous rex you silly little twit wit.

-- What exactly are Flemenco dancers? -- There finger-clickin' good that's what!

-- What do acrobats do? -- That's easy, they're people who turn flops into success.

-- What does R.S.V.P. mean? -- Rush in, Shake hands, Vanish Promptly.

-- What do you call a golddigger? -- Hmmm...a human gimmee pig?

____________

Image Credit: Vimrod cartoon created by Ralph Lazar and Lisa Swerling - vimrod.com

Pun examples courtesy of Art Moger, "The Complete Pun Book".

Is There an Equation For the Lighter Side of Life?

"If 'A' is success in life, then 'A' equals 'x' plus 'y' plus 'z.'

Work is 'x'; 'y' is play; and 'z' is keeping your mouth shut.

-- Albert Einstein --

It's Time To Lighten Up!

The Puppet Company Sockettes Lipstick Monster Hand Puppet
The Puppet Company Sockettes Lipstick Monster Hand Puppet

Lady Lipsmacker can't wait to let loose some of her favorite funky one-likers.

 
The Puppet Company- Enchanted Puppets- Green Dragon
The Puppet Company- Enchanted Puppets- Green Dragon

If the crocodiles in the swamp are getting you down ...it's time to enlist the services of "Dirk the Dingbat Dragon" to put them in their place!

 
The Puppet Company Sockettes Ringo Monster Hand Puppet
The Puppet Company Sockettes Ringo Monster Hand Puppet

"Ringo" Razzle-Dazzle will amaze you with his ability to talk twaddle at dinner parties, office parties, and pretty much everything in between.

 
Batman Marionette
Batman Marionette

Wanna be the person who pulls Batman's strings?

 

Who says life isn't a little weird and wacky?

So exactly how does one have a happy and wacky day? The answer is with a little ingenuity and the help of some kids.

An elementary grade teacher once gave her young students the first few words of several famous sayings and asked them to provide original endings for each one.

Here are some examples of the what they wrote. Whoever said out of the mouths of babes comes lots of wit and wisdom must surely have been right...but we'll leave you to be the judge.

"The grass is always greener ...when you leave the sprinkler on."

"A rolling stone ...plays the guitar."

"It's better to light one candle ...than to waste electricity."

"If you can't take the heat ...don't start the fireplace."

"Don't count your chickens ...it takes too long."

"The squeaky wheels ...gets really annoying."

"There's nothing new ...under the bed."

"Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry, and someone yells, "Shut up!"

________________

Image Credit: Vimrod cartoon created by Ralph Lazar & Lisa Swerling - vimrod.com

If there's one thing Santa can't stand its ... - Reindeers who refuse to do any heavy lifting and teddy bears who just tag along for the ride!

________________

Image Credit: - coolpicturegallery.net - merry christmas-mothica 2010 by CrankBot 6

Lots of Laughs to Lighten Your Life

If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?
If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?

A comical classic by a very classy crone -- a great gift for any diva of domesticity.

 
All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten: Uncommon Thoughts on Common Things
All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten: Uncommon Thoughts on Common Things

Another classic contribution by Robert Fulghum full of wit and wisdom about life.

 
life: life is terribly long isn't it? shall we rest?
life: life is terribly long isn't it? shall we rest?

Why not let Vimrod tickle your funny bone today!

 

Feedback From Funny Folk Who Love the Lighter Side of Life - Okay, now it's time to tells us what color is your parachute?

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • seeker2011 lm profile image

      seeker2011 lm 5 years ago

      Thankyou for the lighter side of life.