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Things that mildly irritate me: pet peeves

Updated on November 9, 2015

Things That Mildly Irritate Me: Pet Peeves

Things that mildly irritate me. Pet peeves. We all have them. Not major worries or problems like global warming or being stalked by Jehovah's Witnesses. The minor things that aren't even important enough to react to. Things that cause no real pain, don't do any damage (except to your inner steam level). Things that if you mention them to a loved one they give you a funny look. But they get to you! Like the faith healer from Deal, you know, oh yes you know ....

Even if you're a calm person there are things that will irritate you: Read on and see what irritates me and I'll bet you're nodding your head or saying "why hasn't he got ....". You don't know how many pet peeves you have until you start writing them down.

I'd like to thank all the people who've commented at the end of the page and described some of their own pet peeves - we're an irritable bunch :)

Gorilla courtesy of Kabir Bakie under Creative Commons

A big box of chocolates with the key to flavours on the bottom of the box. Did nobody at the company see the flaw there?

Various Things That Mildly Irritate Me

Random pet peeves

He's Only Being Friendly

We've all had this, from a daft dog owner when her Rottweiler jumps twenty feet at you and licks your head off. I'm British, we shake hands and take five years to make friends. Control your damn dog,

Get Off My Shopping

You put your shopping on the conveyor belt and kindly put a divider after it. The person behind you puts a few items on, then shoves your shopping forward withj the divider. And they always arrange their own items geometrically, perfectly spaced and aligned. Why?

Let Them Off First

Yes, the perennial - trying to board a bus or train while people are trying to get off, especially when said transport is crowded - it has to be one of the most futile and stupid things to do. This irritates me even if I'm sitting down in the train just watching.

Move Down The Bus Please

And the perennial's brother: Get on bus, look down aisle, see no vacant seats, stay by door. Block other people getting on, block people getting off at next stop. Ho hum.

Burnt Cakes In Sainsbury's Supermarket

Usually the raisin whirls, marked half price. You're a huge corporation, buy a kitchen timer!

Serving Suggestions

I've just seen a serving suggestion on a packet of peanuts - apparently I should pour them into a bowl. You live and learn.

Product Advice

Open Before Eating (yep, seen that one, just in time before I starved to death). Caution: Product Hot After Heating. Then there's Keep Away From Children -- all of them? For ever? What about my nephews on Christmas Day - can I give them their presents? Okay, Packaging Dangerous To Children And Pets, yes, but please do be specific.

Electronic Indicators At Bus Stops

A few years back Arriva (better known as Arrivalate) bus company spent a fortune putting electronic boards in bus stops in Liverpool. It's not smart technology, it just parrots the timetable. Doesn't half add to the fun of standing at a windswept bus stop on a wet night for half an hour, seeing a bright, scrolling display of buses that should have come along and haven't..

ps they've stopped using these now - just the blank display to remind us that they spent all that money.

Pedestrian Crossings

A particular type -- you have to stand on a pad and press a button to change the lights. Bags of shopping in hand, the button's too far away to press with your nose so you have to put the shopping on the dirty pavement. And the pads usually slope towards the road - great for senior citizens and mums with prams. And the pads don't register you when they're covered in snow and ice, like today.

Motorists: Begin Indicating, Then Turn

Give us pedestrians a chance, don't put on the indicators to show you've almost completed a turning manouevre.

People Who Repeat The Last Few Words Of A Punchline

Please don't do this, please, please.

People Who Moan Too Much

Erm, well, er, ...

"Pan Fried" on a menu.

Difficult not to use a pan to fry something

Healing Moon by Elena Soldatkina
Healing Moon by Elena Soldatkina

The Faith Healer From Deal

(in case you were wondering)

There was an old faith-healer from Deal

Who said,'Although pain isn't real

If I sit on a pin

And it punctures my skin

I dislike what I fancy I feel'

Healing Moon artwork by Elena Soldatkina, used with kind permission

Burning Flags

Certain countries love to burn flags, especially US and UK flags. At the first hint of a political controversy there's a couple of flags burning and a TV camera rolling. How? Where do they get the flags? Do you know where to buy a huge Afghani flag, for example? Do you know where to rustle up a US or UK flag at short notice?

Yet thousands of miles from home, someone is selling these things. I wouldn't have thought a market stall full of western imperialist regalia would be too welcome but someone must import and sell the things in large numbers. And flags are quite expensive as well - no point in buying a cheap flag that'll burn out before the TV crew gets there, you need a good few minutes of flames.

Newspaper headline: "Police warn about bogus home intruders."

As opposed to real home intruders?

More Mild Irritations

Pet peeves continued

When I started writing down the things that irriitate me I didn't realise it would be an ongoing task. Try these mild irritations and see which you might add to your peeves list.

Mwah Mwah

It used to be a kiss on the cheek, then two cheeks, then air kissing, now it's three cheeks. Why? What's next - there aren't many more choices for cheeks.

Putting dead matches back in the box

Just one word. Don't. Or is that two words?

Traffic light probing

Sat at a red light, the driver's index finger reaches nosewards ,,,, Icky.

Xmas baby signs in the garden

"Santa. Heidi lives here". No, no, no.

Valentines presents for the wrong people

Valentine's Day is for lovers or secret admirers. When did people start giving Valentine' presents to members of their own family? In some rural communities, perhaps, but come on -- this is going too far.

If you're having one

When you ask someone if they want a tea or a coffee and that's what they reply. Just answer the question, I wouldn't have asked if I minded making you a drink.

Cinema binge eating

They get to their seat, next to you of course, as the film's just starting. They have coke and burgers and popcorn and crisps and boiled sweets and ice cream and orange drinks and ..... And why do cinemas sell things that have crinkly wrappers?

Cab drivers who talk on their mobile phone

Irritating if it's a hands free -- if it isn't I tell them to stop the vehicle.

Bar staff or shop assistants having a conversation

I've done these sorts of jobs in my younger days and I know how the day can drag, but break off the conversation to serve a customer. I don't want to stand there while Debbie tells Sharon what Kylie said to ....

Whatever

Now worked its way across the Atlantic. I don't support the death penalty but I'd consider it for anyone who delivers this as the universal one word answer. Teenagers, beware.

I apologise for any upset I've caused

Celebrities giving fake apologies on TV - note, not sorry for the actual offences, serial adultery, lying, cheating, stealing, etc. Sorry for upsetting people and losing endorsement contracts.

Shirt collar stiffeners

Whose bright idea was it to start leaving a gap in the collar so these fall out? And nobody remembers to remove them before bunging the shirt in the washing machine.

New parents

Sorry people, your child looks like Winston Churchill for the first few months. And whenever I hear "hasn't he got his father's eyes" I look across at Dad in case Chuckie has pulled out Dad's eyeballs. Don't ask a non-parent to admire your baby., we don't know what to say, apart from generalities. And check for smells before proffering Junior for approval please.

Useless money-off vouchers

My local supermarket has just started a really annoying scheme: spend over twenty pounds and they give you a voucher for £2 off your next shop of £20 or more - but it's only valid for two days.

Toilet paper

Double thickness toilet paper carelessly unrolled so the perforations on the two plys don't match.

diamond nose stud
diamond nose stud

Nose Studs

Nose studs. Expensive fake pimples. Why does anyone pay money to insert something that looks like a zit into a part of their face?

There's a tale that Mick Jagger once had an emerald inserted in a tooth - he changed it to a diamond when people kept telling him that he had a bit of spinach stuck between his teeth,



People who moan about the weather. There's no such thing as bad weather, just inappropriate clothing. Every season is awesome

From a blog I came across

Pregnant Women Irritated

Peevish pregnant people

No, it's okay, I don't find pregnant women mildly irritating! There's a good thread on a Mums To Be forum that has a nice long list of the things that annoy pregnant women:

Things you used to find mildly irritating ...

A Quick Joke

A boy asks his father to explain the differences among irritation, aggravation, and frustration. His father picks up the phone and dials a number at random. When the phone is answered, he asks, "Can I speak to Bill, please?"

"No! There's no one called Bill here," says the person who answered the phone.

His father hangs up. "That's irritation," he says.

He picks up the phone again, dials the same number, and asks for Bill a second time. "No, there's no one here called Bill. Go away. If you call again I shall telephone the police," the person says.

His father hangs up and says, "That's aggravation. "

"Then what's frustration? " asks his son.

The father picks up the phone and dials the same number a third time. "Hello, this is Bill. Have I received any phone calls?" he asks casually.

pet peeves bmw drivers
pet peeves bmw drivers

Cars And Their Irritating Drivers

Pet peeves galore

Confession time: I don't own a car, I've never owned a car and I can't drive a car. I had motorcycles for years until I knackered my back, now I'm a pedestrian or what BMW Series 3 drivers call a target. That's assuming they even see me, of course. Vorsprung durch Technik maybe but Series 3 BMWs appear to come without indicators.

Anyone who's blurting out "That's the Audi slogan, not BMW", guess what ... Pet Peeve #27

About the only thing I know about cars is that GTi is meaningless and the letters are in the wrong order. I can distinguish size and colour: "The little red car turned right without indicating and hit the oncoming big white one" but that's all.

Before I list a few pet peeves for car drivers though, let's watch a few of the sorts of thing that get to me, starting with the good old "No Entry signs don't apply to me" brigade.

Daft Drivers

Irritated By Drivers

Pet peeves prompted by idiots in cars

Parking too close

Usually in supermarket carparks: they park six inches from your door.

Circling the carpark

Another supermarket behaviour: drive round and round for ten minutes looking for a space twenty feet closer to the door.

Foot down, the lights are changing

Lights on a crossing about to turn red - accelerate to get through. God forbid you should be held up for thirty seconds.

Driving Miss Emma

Taking little Emma to school in the Range Rover. Chubby little girl never walks a yard. Park six feet out from kerb and nip out to talk to Tamara's mother. Don't worry about the road being single carriageway here - you'll only be a couple of minutes. In the morning rush hour.

And a pint of milk

Convenience store, no parking: simply block road and turn on hazard lights. You're only nipping in for a loaf of bread. And the evening paper. Weird display - have a quick look. Oh, milk. Damn queue at checkout.

BMW Series 3

Just owning one. If you're male you buy lads' mags and think Sam Fox is still hot. If you're female you read the Daily Mail and agree that tomato ketchup causes cancer, cos the Mail says so. And your indicators don't work.

Jokey personalised number plates

1 AM BO5 - that was a waste of £250 wasn't it.

Little angel on board

"Baby on board" stickers may have a point if you crash in the wilds with a baby swaddled on the back seat but take them down when there isn't a baby in the car. MInd you,.why is there a baby on the back seat anyway?

Euphemisms

SUV. People carrier. It's an oversized, over-specced gas guzzler. No amount of marketing flimmery is going to make it any more acceptable. And "people carrier"? As opposed to what gets transported in smaller cars?

Traffic light creeps

It's be green soon, inch forward. A bit more. Again. Why?

beans
beans

Dedicated To An Audi Driver

Jaw-droppingly idiotic

Mild irritations above dedicated to the most stupid behaviour I've ever seen - putting aside people who drive at 80mph in snow. You're a businessman, fat, fifty and you have a company Audi, You're doing 65mph and you're having your lunch - left hand is holding a tin of beans on top of the steering wheel, little finger free to steer the car, right hand is dipping a fork in and out. You wouldn't want to ruin your day by dropping bean juice on your shirt so you concentrate fiercely on the fork. And clip the kerb.

I have never in my life so regretted not having a camera on me as on that day.

Why is there always one type of chocolate in the box that tastes like rat droppings boiled in sugar?

Another Quack Joke

A duck walks into a bar and asks: "Got any Bread?"

Barman says: "No."

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No."

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No, we have no bread."

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No, we haven't got any bread!"

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No, are you deaf?! We haven't got any bread, and if you ask me again and I'll nail your ******* beak to the bar you ********* ****** duck!"

Duck says: "Got any nails?"

Barman says: "No"

Duck says: "Got any bread?

More duck jokes

Current TV ad aimed at baldies: "We specialise in hair loss"

Some ad agency charged a fortune for that idiocy.

multi peeler, very irritating
multi peeler, very irritating

Irritated By Things That Don't Work Very Well?

Who has a drawer full of these in the kitchen?

Raise your right hand if you have a garlic crusher rusting in your kitchen drawer. You used it twice, realised you'd get more garlic with less effort by combing the cat and lobbed the crusher into the drawer where you keep all those keys, instruction booklets for things you no longer own and a photo of a relative whose name nobody remembers.

Have you ever bought a small but apparently clever gadget and then found out the advert was a load of codswallop? That grey and white thing is an electronic peeling device that doesn't peel, Yes, I bought one - £2 from Amazon. Hold it on a potato long enough and the potato develops a small bald patch. Tomatoes just laugh at it. Yet they're still on sale.

So then if you've ever brought the credit card out at Ronco this bit's for you ...

New designs for potato peelers

None better than the old styler peelers - stop reinventing the wheel and making it worse.

Garlic crushers

Worth mentioning twice: crush a clove, spend five minutes extracting the skin from the slime, End up thumping another clove in annoyance.

Anything with the word "magnetic" in its name

Magnetic tin openers which don't open tins. Magnetic lights that don't adhere and don't, after the first day, light.

Everlasting knives

No they're not. And these were advertised on television with "buy one, get one free". Why would you need a second everlasting knife?

Food dehydrators

Leach all the goodness and pleasure from fresh food and turn it into something a pitbull can't chew. Brilliant idea.

Steam cleaners

The sort you see on infomercials when you can't sleep and don't fancy Two And A Half Men for the 87th time. On the telly they strip clean an old car in ten seconds, in real life they struggle to push a dust bunny around.

Salad spinners

Thousands of years of evolution for this: a plastic device to make lettuce dizzy. You can even buy a posh one from France at ten times the normal price. Oh la la.

Captchas

That's a captcha from Google Adsense and yes, my setttings were for English UK. I know Guess The Captcha is a bit of a game but please, give us a sporting chance.

"We want people who can influence the roadmap"

Irritating Business Phrases

A pet peeve: business-speak

If you can influence the roadmap then you're probably expert in recapitalising your ideas bank. Yes, yuk.

Thank you for your input

I've just wasted twenty seconds of my life listening to that.

Let's take that offline

In a meeting, means you've raised a subject your boss knows nothing about.

Ladder them up

From one "how to do business" website: 'Interrogate major findings. Ladder them up from stated attributes “this aftershave smells flowery” to consequences, “I don’t smell like I’m trying too hard to be a man” to values, “The cool girls like guys to be a bit androgynous.”…'

Move the needle

"There is real upside in the brand really growing, in terms of accessibility and digital social engagement. I think these type of things could really move the needle."



And a final note, to whoever wrote the job spec that contained "Can you work with dev teams to productionise new software and make it bullet proof?" -- you should be ashamed of yourself.

I'm on the train. I said "I'M ON THE TRAIN"

Mobile phone
Mobile phone

Mobile Phone Users

Ever been trapped on a bus, sitting in front of someone who's on the mobile for the whole journey? Having the same conversation with five different people? Have you ever had to listen to some loudmouthed idiot shout down a mobile to another loudmouther idiot? "ARE YOU GOING TO THE PUB TONIGHT?" Probably, as the two of you go to the pub every night.

Perhaps worse, they board the bus while in the middle of a call, then stand there in front of the driver, unaware of the quaint old custom of paying a fare or showing a pass. And they do the same at supermarket checkouts - while the queue behind seethes. Mind you, there is a way to handle this: take out your own mobile and pretend to make a call (loudly) "I'm in Sainsburys. I'm stuck behind some woman on her bloody mobile." That shifts 'em.

Image: Samsung I8190 Galaxy S III Mini Unlocked Android Smartphone - White

What mildly irritates you? - Go on, now's your chance

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    • MelRootsNWrites profile image

      Melody Lassalle 

      3 years ago from California

      Paul, you've sure hit upon some of my pet peeves! Don't get me started on dogs off leash and people talking on their cell phones in the store. I have an overly obvious label helpful tip to add to your list. On the two box pack of Cheerios, there is a graphic to show you that you need to pull the two boxes apart before you open them. They even show you how. Do people really need such instructions??? Thanks for the chuckle for my morning.

    • SusannaDuffy profile image

      Susanna Duffy 

      3 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      I loathe those little sticky labels on fruit. Stop doing that!

    • Scarlettohairy profile image

      Peggy Hazelwood 

      4 years ago from Desert Southwest, U.S.A.

      Excellent list of irritating things. My number one pet peeve is lines at the grocery store or any store (or any place). Why not have ONE queue to let the next person go to the next available clerk? Errrr.

    • annieangel1 profile image

      Ann 

      4 years ago from Yorkshire, England

      just what I needed on a gloomy Sunday x

    • Pat Goltz profile image

      Pat Goltz 

      4 years ago

      Couldn't edit; please use this one instead:

      Favorite pet peeve: the phrase "Shocking video" or the use of the word "shocking" in any context.

      Another one" Aaron Copland's "music". My favorite radio station playing it once a day without fail, and five times on a national holiday.

      Here's one for you. Guy in a convertible following at 3 feet behind you (one meter for the metrically inclined) for miles on a road at 75 mph. Finally pulls around you. He's driving with his bare feet, hands clasped behind his head, with a silly grin on his face. Almost clips your headlight as he pulls in front of you when he has almost passed.

    • SheGetsCreative profile image

      Angela F 

      4 years ago from Seattle, WA

      I don't have to... we must be related lol you've covered o' so many of Mine!

    • profile image

      anonymous 

      4 years ago

      Waaaay too much information

    • Lady Lorelei profile image

      Lorelei Cohen 

      4 years ago from Canada

      People who pull up directly in front of the store door and park to let someone out or in who is perfectly capable of walking from the parking lot to the door. Ahem...do you see me standing preparing to walk across into the store. Thanks for making me have to walk around your vehicle to enter or exit the store. Grrrr....I cannot count the number of times this has happened. Such polite people - Not.

    • Frischy profile image

      Frischy 

      4 years ago from Kentucky, USA

      This week it is littering and illegal dumping.

    • Diane Cass profile image

      Diane Cass 

      4 years ago from New York

      Cold butter that tears your bread when you try to spread it. Dull pencils. Out of tune musicians. Buffering.

    • Paul Ward profile imageAUTHOR

      Paul 

      5 years ago from Liverpool, England

      @Gloriousconfusion: Have you seen http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zIY6DQSlbY

    • Alan Katz profile image

      Alan Katz 

      5 years ago from Florida

      Thanks for this lens. I try to not let too much get under my skin. I agree with Eric.

    • Gloriousconfusion profile image

      Diana Grant 

      5 years ago from United Kingdom

      @Coreena Jolene: Ha-ha - I did that once, at the Edinburgh Festival, and the bloke next to me was so flattered that we went out together for 5 years!

    • profile image

      julieannbrady 

      5 years ago

      Oh my goodness, but I have some mild irritations too! When the neighbor mows his grass and blows his "stuff" into the street and then the other neighbor comes along after him and blows what the previous neighbor left in front of my house, into my yard ... grumble grumble and then weeds!

    • Coreena Jolene profile image

      Coreena Jolene 

      5 years ago

      Awesome lens, I can relate to so many. Here is mine, my husband and I call it our magnet. Got to a movie on a weekday, walk in, before the movie a little early, not a soul in the theater. Pick where you want, then some start coming in. Guess what, our magnet works every time, someone sits right next to us, either in front, beside or behind, and 3/4 of the theater is empty. Edging past mildly irritating.

    • PatriciaJoy profile image

      PatriciaJoy 

      5 years ago from Michigan

      Hmmmm, young hipsters who think they invented thrift stores and recycling, 300 pound people going on about high fructose corn syrup and those paper number machine thingies in government agencies - something always gets screwed up with those. What a fun lens. Curmudgeons unite!

    • Paul Ward profile imageAUTHOR

      Paul 

      5 years ago from Liverpool, England

      @Hurlserv: I'm an adventurous cook :)

    • profile image

      Hurlserv 

      5 years ago

      Paul, having never met you, I don't know you. After reading this page I'm marginally inclined to turn in my curmudgeon badge. Before I do I must ask, re: "Why is there always one type of chocolate in the box that tastes like rat droppings boiled in sugar?", just how do you know this?

    • Eric Mayo profile image

      Eric Mayo 

      5 years ago

      People who blow their horns behind me the moment the light turns green.

    • Paul Ward profile imageAUTHOR

      Paul 

      5 years ago from Liverpool, England

      @KimGiancaterino: Especially if they're pushing the envelope.

    • profile image

      MaggiePowell 

      5 years ago

      Prius drivers, parents who are certain their 7 year old is the next Messi, phone calls from computers, buying a hot chocolate for a child and having it too burning hot to drink for at least an hour, having a 1:30 appointment with a doctor who doesn't even come back from lunch until 2... and then he has to take the other three people they booked in at 1:30 before you, Valentine's day, girls/ladies pants with writing across the backside (are women now required to provide reading material for lewd men?), and all of the stupid store promotion cards that I have to carry to get my $1.00 off toilet paper or bacon.

      And that's just the tip of the iceberg.

    • profile image

      AlleyCatLane 

      5 years ago

      Back for a second read. Happy Valentine's Day!

    • Pat Goltz profile image

      Pat Goltz 

      5 years ago

      The dog that slobbers all over me. That's a huge one. Like global warming. The others, well, ...

    • profile image

      Tamara14 

      5 years ago

      Stupid and careless people in traffic really get to me. Among other things :) Thanks Paul for this nice and well explained list. Oh! And for that genious duck joke :)

    • Paul Ward profile imageAUTHOR

      Paul 

      5 years ago from Liverpool, England

      @KimGiancaterino: As bad as pushing the envelope!

    • KimGiancaterino profile image

      KimGiancaterino 

      5 years ago

      People who "think outside the box" really bug me!

    • profile image

      anonymous 

      5 years ago

      I really enjoyed your lens especially when you discussed thoughts on new babies. I really hate it when someone say "Oh she looks just like you" or "Oh she is so cute" I have never seen a cute newborn and for Gods sake don't post baby's first soiled diaper or first feeding online. Ick and Yuck

    • profile image

      AlleyCatLane 

      5 years ago

      My fiance is famous for the "I'll have what you have" one. Whenever I ask him what he would like, he comes back with what are you having. Drives me nuts! My other pet peeve is stoping at a pay-at-the-pump gas station, but there's no paper in the receipt machine so you still have to go into the store and stand in line to get your receipt. Really ticke me off! You sure have a lot of pet peeves! LOL Blessed!

    • TheGoGlobalBabe profile image

      TheGoGlobalBabe 

      5 years ago

      My pet peeve is people who crowd the bus or the subway and there is room for them to move and they just don't. Just plain consideration goes a long way! Great funny lens!

    • profile image

      bossypants 

      5 years ago

      I have been chuckling time and again as I read this lens.

      Your workplace peeves are quite delightfully accurate. One of my business peeves is use of the word oversight, as in "I have oversight of the claims department." Seems to me there was a time when oversight meant to overlook or to have missed something. Of course, then again, perhaps those manager ARE using oversight correctly.

    • profile image

      Ruthi 

      5 years ago

      Good grief, we share many pet peeves! It is true that it is the little things that are often the most annoying and can turn into big things.

    • Lady Lorelei profile image

      Lorelei Cohen 

      5 years ago from Canada

      @Lady Lorelei: The old fellow and I were by the way left standing in traffic while this yahoo completely blocked our pathway.

    • Lady Lorelei profile image

      Lorelei Cohen 

      5 years ago from Canada

      This was my pet peeve yesterday and I was in just enough of a mood that I actually gave them a piece of my mind on the subject. An elderly gentleman and I were crossing the mall road (in a pedestrian crosswalk) to enter the drugstore there when a big truck zipped in front of us and stopped to let his wife out (who by the way appeared to be in quite good shape). The old guy and I looked at each other and I made a comment about manners and he laughingly agreed. Then the woman who had exited the truck looked at us as her husband zipped off to find a parking space and I gave her a word or two (or 3 or 4 etc). How rude and it is my new big pet peeve.

    • greenspirit profile image

      poppy mercer 

      5 years ago from London

      I've just really laughed out loud Paul...nearly every one is on my list too. My latest is some blasted, jolly announcer bursting in to tell me about some vile TV programme, a trillionth of a second after the programme I've just watched has finished.

      No, don't absorb what you've seen, don't appreciate the lovely music, don't read the credits...let me burst into your suspended universe with some rubbish you didn't ask to know about. Oh and contrived and adopted gangster patois from 3rd generation, English born young black teenagers...please stop it , it doesn't help anyone. The Carpenters...the music of hell.....

    • victoriahaneveer profile image

      victoriahaneveer 

      5 years ago

      My cat is (was) sleeping on my desk and I just woke her up roaring with laughter. These are TOO funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love your list.

    • MikeRobbers LM profile image

      MikeRobbers LM 

      5 years ago

      Great list! One thing that annoys the crap out of me is when I'm at a grocery store and someone takes up an entire aisle by turning their cart sideways. WHY? This doesn't accomplish anything! It's worse when you say "excuse me" and they say "sure" but don't move their cart..

    • BarbRad profile image

      Barbara Radisavljevic 

      5 years ago from Templeton, CA

      I can't think of anything right off the bat that only mildly irritates me. Having the phone ring irritates me most of the time because I know it's someone wanting to sell me something or get a donation-- if anyone is there at all. Were it not for the occasional customer call I'd never answer the phone until after the answering machine screens it.

    • bigjoe2121 profile image

      bigjoe2121 

      6 years ago

      I must be British too .. somehow. Don't go to Hawaii. They hug you the first time they meet you there.

    • Paul Ward profile imageAUTHOR

      Paul 

      6 years ago from Liverpool, England

      @HealthfulMD: Yo'd love the Daily Mail: Here's X at the beach proudly showing off her baby bump.

    • profile image

      Brinked 

      6 years ago

      Irritation, aggravation, and frustration... great stuff! Anything with the word "magnetic".. what about everything that is EXTREME!

    • HealthfulMD profile image

      Kirsti A. Dyer 

      6 years ago from Northern California

      So much fun. Lots of things come to mind, but the one that popped into my head reading the lens is the ridiculous coverage of pregnant celebrities, since "no one else" has ever had a baby.

    • marigoldina profile image

      Heather B 

      6 years ago

      I really should write down every one of my pet peeves as I encounter them so I can send them on to you - I have so many!

    • Redneck Lady Luck profile image

      Lorelei Cohen 

      6 years ago from Canada

      Yep the captchas that you cannot read annoy the heck out of me too. I think my biggest pet peeve though is drivers who stop when they should not. Those drivers who have the right of way and yet insist on stopping for no apparent reason other than to force you to also stop. Hey! It's a green light - don't stop - GO!

    • profile image

      david-grace-39 

      6 years ago

      Oh gosh I don't think I've ever heard of anyone else who shares my annoyence of poorly constructed double ply toilet paper!

    • Paul Ward profile imageAUTHOR

      Paul 

      6 years ago from Liverpool, England

      @AngryBaker: I've noticed the pregnant stomach touching - why? Mind you, there is a corollary - the pregnant mother who invites you to touch her belly - I don't want to!

    • Frischy profile image

      Frischy 

      6 years ago from Kentucky, USA

      Filling out forms that ask for too much personal information. Being asked personal questions at the checkout before I pay for my purchase. I want to pay the store for a pack of AA batteries, I should not have to provide my telephone number first! Likewise, when I return an item to the drug store for a refund, I should not have to provide my date of birth, address, phone number, and so forth, all so I can get my money back for an unneeded item.

    • MarcoG profile image

      Marc 

      6 years ago from Edinburgh

      Haha, great read! What would someone put dead matches back in the box? It doesn't make sense!

    • profile image

      AngryBaker 

      6 years ago

      Stupid people, the word 'whatever' especially when uttered by a teenager, too many commercials, forms that ask me to write my name 7 times, people who drive vehicles large enough to require their own area code, Tuesdays, and when I was pregnant... complete strangers thought it was OK to touch my stomach.

    • profile image

      grannysage 

      6 years ago

      At the moment it is the barking dog that someone thought would enjoy camping in a campground. And someone talking on a cell phone very loudly. I think all the wild critters have gone elsewhere.

    • kaposzta profile image

      kaposzta 

      6 years ago

      Great lens, you just collected the things that are irritating me as well (and in most of the cases NOT mildly) :D

    • lilymom24 profile image

      lilymom24 

      6 years ago

      Great lens Paul. Speaking of pregnant women, one of the biggest peeves for me was during my last month of pregnancy when someone would call and ask "are you still home?"......uhhh....obviously I must be because I answered the phone. After a while you just let the machine get it .... then you get the frantic messages of "have you gone to the hospital? Call me...call me...are you there?" Thankfully those days are behind me now. lol

    • profile image

      AlleyCatLane 

      6 years ago

      Laughed out loud!! Thanks, I needed that. One of my pet peeves is going to a gas station with pay at the pump, but they neglect to replace the paper so you still have to go inside and stand in line to wait for a receipt.

    • LiteraryMind profile image

      Ellen Gregory 

      6 years ago from Connecticut, USA

      I agree with you on the garlic press. But I get upset in restaurants when parents give their toddlers those little jelly packs and/or little individual creamers to play with. They stick them in their mouth and do everything conceivable with them. Then the parents stick them back in the bowl for the next customer to use.

    • TonyPayne profile image

      Tony Payne 

      6 years ago from Southampton, UK

      That fake kissing thing, and putting used matches back in the box, yes they really irritate me. Just came back for another look...

    • profile image

      anonymous 

      6 years ago

      Packaging on products that is so tight you can't get the dang thing open. I enjoyed your lens. I smiled all the way through.

    • profile image

      julieannbrady 

      6 years ago

      OMG, please don't get me started ... some minor irritations:

      #1: Always picking up the next door neighbor's garbage on pickup day: they put it in their garbage can loosely and sometimes it is some interesting stuff if there is a strong wind! I wonder what it will be this week?

      #2 People who flick their cigarette butts here and there ... for me, again it is my front yard ... there is another neighbor down the street who walks over to the neighbor across the street ... then he flicks his butt into the street. It ends up in my front yard because of slight wind shear.

      #3 A bit more than mildly irritation: content lifters ... you know?

    • mgs249 profile image

      mgs249 

      6 years ago

      People who want me to talk on their germy cell phones. No thanks. Also, the ones who talk on their cell phone in the public bathroom stalls which is why I don't want to touch your cell phone.

    • profile image

      xhuizini 

      6 years ago

      the list is a nice read, so when we find ourselves writing down our pet peeves it would be longer than expected huh?

      my mild irritation

      the pop ads in the website I'm visiting, and the unnecessary comment when I dress myself up. is it that bad to feel beautiful once in a while?

    • Protasker profile image

      Barbara 

      6 years ago from USA

      People that make fun of Jehovah's Witnesses, they are not stalkers! Funny stuff here, had a lot of laughs.

    • Nancy Hardin profile image

      Nancy Carol Brown Hardin 

      6 years ago from Las Vegas, NV

      This is so good! So many of these irritations I've experienced, but when you talk about them all I can do is laugh! Thanks for sharing.

    • ChrissLJ profile image

      ChrissLJ 

      6 years ago

      People who don't pick up their dog's poop. My neighbor lets her dog poop all over our shared front lawn and right in my flower boxes. I confronted her this morning. She said she would NEVER do that. Really? Then why in the world do you never walk to the dumpster (15 feet away) after your dog potties and you never have a baggie in hand when your dog goes outside? If I can pick up after my 12 lbs dog, you can pick up after you 70 lbs ones.

      Ok, it more than mildly irritates me.

    • Lady Lorelei profile image

      Lorelei Cohen 

      6 years ago from Canada

      I love your wonderful sense of humor. It is the ideal item to run into first thing in the morning.

    • Anthony Altorenna profile image

      Anthony Altorenna 

      6 years ago from Connecticut

      This a great list and after a long day at work, I really needed a good laugh.

      My biggest pet peeve: rude people. Does it really hurt to be nice and considerate to others? Seems like a lost skill....

    • Art-Aspirations profile image

      Art-Aspirations 

      6 years ago

      Too busy laughing!

      You hit a lot of nails on the head. Good thing it wasn't the duck.

    • Elsie Hagley profile image

      Elsie Hagley 

      6 years ago from New Zealand

      I like this lens, but my oh my, I never knew there where so many things to irritate some one, but as I was reading it, quite amazing. There's only one thing left for this lens.Blessed.

    • Othercatt profile image

      Othercatt 

      6 years ago

      This was too funny! You would probably hate me at the supermarket. I organize my groceries by package type, weight and refrigeration requirements. It's a complicated process that sometimes I don't even understand :P

    • Brite-Ideas profile image

      Barbara Tremblay Cipak 

      6 years ago from Toronto, Canada

      Ok, this is absolutely hilarious (I hope that doesn't irritate you)...I would say your bit about "He's just friendly"..the big dog jumping all over you is what gets my goat..actually I CAN'T STAND THAT! I have more, but it's Christmas Eve and I want to stay positive :)...lots of smileys for Christmas Eve..:):):)..there I feel better.

    • profile image

      cmadden 

      6 years ago

      The dufus maintaining a cell phone conversation while buying something at the register, still conversing away while the poor employee tries in vain to conclude the transaction - all the while watching the line grow and grow.

    • adrianaheep lm profile image

      adrianaheep lm 

      6 years ago

      Haha I really enjoyed reading this lens. A few things made me laugh. Three things that really annoy me are people who talk to themselves, bad whistling, and breathing too loud.

    • NicoleLynn711 profile image

      Nicole 

      6 years ago from Bethel, CT

      haha this is a great idea for a lens! "Traffic light probing" so great lol

    • Diane Cass profile image

      Diane Cass 

      6 years ago from New York

      #1 - dull pencils. I always use a mechanical pencil to save myself from this irritation.

      #2 - cold butter that tears your bread when you try to spread it.

      #3 - people who bring their kids into adult movies (rated R, that is)

      #4 - any person smoking...anywhere...all of them! I hate tobacco smoke. I don't want it in my lungs and I don't want it getting in my clothes. UGH!

    • Zut Moon profile image

      Zut Moon 

      6 years ago

      A smoker standing in front of a Non-Smoking sign ..... Dumb-Ass !!!

    • CrossCreations profile image

      Carolan Ross 

      6 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      LOL, all very funny. Have to agree most with the 'new parents' comments and CAPTCHAS... for Pete's sake, what were they THINKING?

    • profile image

      grannysage 

      6 years ago

      Had to read these out loud to the hubby, especially the one about driving round and round the parking lot to find the perfect space. But there is justice. Now we have an RV and have to park in the back of the lot....haha. And it was a green car, not a red car, I think officer.

    • mariaamoroso profile image

      irenemaria 

      6 years ago from Sweden

      HAHAHA! I love this lens! Smiling and will share with others. Thanks and blessings your way.

    • Jeri Baker profile image

      Jeri Baker 

      6 years ago

      From the newbie across the pond...I'm still rolling on the floor. This is such a great lens!

    • profile image

      anonymous 

      6 years ago

      I know you sort of mentioned this with the coffee tea thing but when people don't answer the question you asked. We have two sizes of coffee at work, small and large, and customers say they want a regular coffee so I ask small or large and they just say a regular again, then complain when they get a small. If they just answered the question I asked then they'd get what they want! I have a lot more customer specific pet peeves but I'll stick with just that one. Great lens!!

    • emmajowebster profile image

      emmajowebster 

      6 years ago

      this is the best lens EVER!!!!!

    • chezchazz profile image

      Chazz 

      6 years ago from New York

      Great sense of humor you have Paul. Enjoy your lenses -- especially on a gray rainy day such as today.

    • MelissaInTheSky profile image

      MelissaInTheSky 

      6 years ago

      I love that you have compiled such a list. :) He he

    • yayas profile image

      yayas 

      7 years ago

      Nothing like a good laugh to start my day out right. I have thoroughly enjoyed my tour of things that irritate You. Thanks for several good chuckles. :)

    • profile image

      anonymous 

      7 years ago

      This was a fun read. I only listed 12 of my peeves - one was about driving but yours were far more comprehensive! http://www.squidoo.com/petting-my-peeves Liked and shared.

    • profile image

      TravelingRae 

      7 years ago

      I've been on Squidoo most of the day and have looked at dozens of lenses. "You're a huge corporation, buy a kitchen timer!" wins as my favourite thing I've read all day.

    • anaamhussain profile image

      anaamhussain 

      7 years ago

      The everlasting buy one and get one free knife was hilarious!

    • KathyMcGraw2 profile image

      Kathy McGraw 

      7 years ago from California

      Wow Paul you sure have a huge list of irritants :) Yea, some of these were funny, and some I couldn't identify with being in California, but I was trying to imagine your sense of humor when you encounter these pet peeves of yours :)

    • SilmarwenLinwelin profile image

      SilmarwenLinwelin 

      7 years ago

      When I catch myself doing or saying things that irritate me in others!

    • nuestraherencia profile image

      nuestraherencia 

      7 years ago

      Funny, funny, funny...is that irritating? Really fun to read. Sadly, I have too many pet peeves, which means I spend more time on Squidoo than out with people!

    • mellex lm profile image

      mellex lm 

      7 years ago from Australia

      Sooo funny. A management meeting term I hate is "lets take that offline" (and never talk about it again). Thanks for sharing!

    • ecogranny profile image

      Kathryn Grace 

      7 years ago from San Francisco

      My sweetheart thanks you making me giggle so resoundingly.

    • jlshernandez profile image

      jlshernandez 

      7 years ago

      Fun lens which reminded me of a bunch of my own pet peeves. I love the everlasting knife where you buy one get one free. That is a double ever everlasting. Thanks for this sharing light-hearted moment for a lazy Saturday morning.

    • profile image

      chris_triby 

      7 years ago

      People who say irregardless... regardless is already a negative. Things like there, their, and they're or its and it's used improperly. Half of the things you listed are pet peeves of mine as well. Great lens, you never fail to entertain.

    • sidther lm profile image

      sidther lm 

      7 years ago

      Life as an Army wife has taught me to quickly become irritated when I hear "I was unaware of the situation, I'll look into it." Yes they were, and NO, they won't- what are they "looking" in anyway, a can, a box, a bottomless hole?

      I do love this lens, it always makes me smile because you have done such an excellent job describing these irritating things!

    • MamaBelle profile image

      Francis Luxford 

      7 years ago from United Kingdom

      I had fun reading through these. Great lens!

    • profile image

      JoshK47 

      7 years ago

      Yes, yes, and more yes --- these little things all start to gather up and just drive me crazy. Great lens, made me wince and laugh all at once.

    • elyria profile image

      elyria 

      7 years ago

      I have some hilarious photos of drivers doing overnight parking next to their apartment buildings in Russia. It was pretty amusing at first until you realize you can't even get into the building front door anymore.

    • profile image

      BeyondRoses 

      7 years ago

      A number of things regarding home products mildly irritates me, and many things you list irritate me as well. Outside the home, there are many things that more than irritate me, so maybe I'm a grump. Top of the list, a public restroom facility that looks like they barely hose it down once a month ... And I could not begin to list all the things that irritate me in restaurants, so maybe that is why I avoid them. Fun lens ... great idea!

    • iCarpeDiem profile image

      iCarpeDiem 

      7 years ago

      People who approach me on cell phones, only to hold their finger up and signal ME to wait. I smile, but Iâm thinking of smacking you.

    • EcoGecko LM profile image

      EcoGecko LM 

      7 years ago

      lol "I dislike what I fancy I feel" long list but a lot of the same things annoy me and a few similar things annoyed me earlier this month on my 18th. I decided to do an extra lesson at college (exams were coming up) as I was already going to one at the end of the day that day, then when I got to the train station I had to find some money for the pay phone and I hadn't taken much change with me so I just managed to get enough and phoned for a lift back from the station I get off then as soon as I did that the people at the station said that the train would be coming to the station but not leaving and the next one would be in an hour and a half and I had no money for the pay phone left. They also had just installed one of those boards but we only found out still just before the train was due to get there. Then I spent ages being ignored as taxis were arranged for us and I ended up in the last taxis with the people about my age probably all having the same problem. The driver was talking through his radio to other taxi drivers and miscalling a few people through the radio and we have to stop at every stop, all request stops, all empty until we get to my stop where no one is there because the people at the train station said that I'd be back on the next train and failed to mention the taxi's. So I then I managed to borrow someone's mobile luckily but I felt sorry for that person with the bike who was told that he had to wait for the next train.

    • profile image

      seegreen 

      7 years ago

      Ok, an opposite pet peeve to yours. Eating from a packet at home - If you have a pack of peanuts, why not be civilized and put them in a bowl? We're not camping here!

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