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The Dating Rules of VH1's Tough Love

Updated on January 1, 2011

Rules for Love According to Steve Ward

One of VH1's popular reality TV shows is "Tough Love." In Tough Love, matchmaker Steve Ward is on a quest to teach eight women how to find love in his personalized love bootcamp. In each episode, he teaches a few rules and then tests the women. He asks them to practice his rules. With these rules, he practically guarantees each woman will be able to find true love. What are these Tough Love rules? Tough Love in Season 3 is all about couples.

Image from Tough Love.

Season 3 Finished

6 couples are in for some tough love. Watch full episodes and see who got hitched.

Love it or Hate it?

Tough Love: Love it or hate it?

See results

Tough Love on VH1

Season 2 begins November 15.

What happened after the show?

Would you date these women?

See the profiles of all the women on the VH1 website.

Which woman would you date?

See results

Welcome to Boot Camp

Tough Love Rules from Episode One, First aired 11/15/09

  • #70 - Less is more. Especially when it comes to sexual partners. For women, it should be like a golf score, the lower the better.
  • #48 - Put a cork in it. Telling a guy how much you like to drink makes you sound like a loser.
  • #55 - Stop staring, please. Making eye contact shows you confidence, but too much makes you look a little crazy.

Communication

Tough Love Rules from Episode Two, First aired 11/22/09

  • #20 - You don't keep your ear to the ground, you'll never hear the buffalo coming. If you're into a guy so much that you can't pay attention to anything he's saying, you might miss some need-to-know information.
  • #4 - Remember your date's name! What, are you going to say, "hey you" all day long?
  • #87 - If you want to impress a guy, don't speak with your mouth full of food.

Sex, Lies, and Bootcamp

Tough Love Rules from Episode Three, First aired 11/29/09

  • #77 - Don't try too hard. Faking sexy is like bad plastic surgery. It only takes a glance to know it ain't real.
  • #14 - If you want a guy to kiss you, kiss him!

Daddy Issues

Tough Love Rules from Episode Four, First aired 12/6/09

  • #8 - Never let a pretty face fool you.

The Wow Factor

Tough Love Rules from Episode Five, First aired 12/13/09

  • #59 - Do not under any circumstances, do not fist bump anyone you might want to have sex with. It's like having a tattoo on your knuckles that say, "Just Friends."

You Can't Handle the Truth

Tough Love Rules from Episode Six, First aired 12/21/09

No rules revealed.

Money Can't Buy Me Love

Tough Love Rules from Episode Seven, First aired 1/3/10

  • #81 - When accepting a gift from a guy, the value of it should be appropriate to how you really feel about him. Otherwise, you'll come off pretty cold-hearted and even greedy.
  • #54 - Don't order a guy around. If you're barking orders, he'll eventually just bark back.
  • #79 - Never call your date "friend." Otherwise, he'll think romance is off the table because he's in the "friend" zone.
  • #11 - Don't dominate the conversation. If you're giving a guy a checklist when you first meet him, you can just check yourself right off his list. It's a complete turn-off.

Revenge of the Exes

Tough Love Rules from Episode Eight, First aired 1/10/10

  • #66 - No guy ever is excited to meet your ex. He's only playing it cool because he doesn't want to embarrass you or himself.

Ghosts of Dating Future

Tough Love Rules from Episode Nine, First aired 1/18/10

No rules revealed.

Away We Go!

Episode Ten, first aired 1/24/10

No rules revealed.

Season Finale

Episode Eleven, first aired 1/31/10

No rules revealed.

Get Steve Ward's New Book

Your chance to chime in

Are the "Tough Love" rules ridiculous or do they make sense?

They make sense. Those looking for love should follow them.

They make sense. Those looking for love should follow them.

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    • anonymous 4 years ago

      They do apply in the real world for both men and women

    • anonymous 4 years ago

      Monday you're taking it way it the wrong way. It's not playing a game, it's having strategy.

    • anonymous 4 years ago

      The rules are awesome and the host, Steve ward is gorgeous!!! :)

    • anonymous 5 years ago

      they make a lot of sense if you use it correctly id actually work

    • anonymous 5 years ago

      they make sense the rules r just......perfect <3

    • desa999 lm 5 years ago

      Yes they make sense to me

    • pandoraboxfacts 5 years ago

      nice post. A dating coach is necessary as always. Thanks.

    • anonymous 5 years ago

      It makes sense, I should take my wife to one of Steve bootcamps she breaks all the rules.

    • anonymous 5 years ago

      Amen to this !

    • anonymous 5 years ago

      they makes sense

    • anonymous 5 years ago

      i think they make sense. the girls on the show got problems. no wonder they don't got no one.

    • anonymous 5 years ago

      well my 'love story' reads like a 'horror story' and i've kinda resigned myself to 'fairytales don't happen to girls like me' but am with a new guy now and am adopting some of Steve's advice and so far so good:)

    • anonymous 5 years ago

      They make plenty sense.

    • anonymous 6 years ago

      they make sense

    • anonymous 6 years ago

      this is a great follow up site: www.whyhedidntcall.com

    • anonymous 6 years ago

      you know what i think your right

      my insecurities wont help me find someone

      ill try to open up

      and look for some1

    • anonymous 6 years ago

      I <3 them.

    • anonymous 7 years ago

      they make so mutch sense..

    • anonymous 7 years ago

      MOST OF THEM MAKE SENSE. THE SHOW IS HELPFUL FOR SURE.

    • anonymous 7 years ago

      Yup. 101% trueee. :)

    • anonymous 7 years ago

      where there ever be a tough love for married couples?

    • anonymous 7 years ago

      true enough

    • anonymous 7 years ago

      They make a hell of a lot of sense! What kind of question was that.

    • anonymous 7 years ago

      I think they make a lot of sense, most girls would see the rules as something offensive and trying to change them. The rules are meant to show off your best self, when you start dating it should not be about your worst self that come later when you get serious not when you get to know people.

    • anonymous 7 years ago

      I say they make since... i mean come on hes a guy he knows what hes talkin about... and he also got all those girls a match.. i think steve is a datin god!!!

    • anonymous 7 years ago

      they make sense but I don't know if they apply to my problem(s) :(

    • anonymous 7 years ago

      They make sense. He's just trying to help people and give people a fresher look on relationships so you're not always getting hurt, or hurting people.

    • anonymous 7 years ago

      It's sad really, because they are all common sense. However, our emotions and insecurities have a tendancy to ignore the obvious.

    • anonymous 7 years ago

      "Tough Love" make a lot of sense Iam learning more and more about myself and what I want and how should I speak. I also learn a lot from what a man see and think about a woman. Steve Ward knows what he is talking about after all he is a man just like the guy next to you he knows what he is talking about.

    • anonymous 7 years ago

      wow really does work ha i getting married in less than a month =) just cause i used these tips =) brett and jessica for ever lol

    • anonymous 7 years ago

      they make sense! thank you

    • anonymous 7 years ago

      I'm a guy and i think they are pretty legit. All of the things listed are pretty solid rules to follow but being yourself should probably be rule number two right after don't be weird lol

    • anonymous 7 years ago

      Rhey make sense t ne

    • anonymous 7 years ago

      no because if you need a guy then you follow these rules..... you dont you will be single for ever that is wat i say..

    • anonymous 7 years ago

      its nice to have them around if u need some help but try to keep to them with out losen ur self

    • anonymous 7 years ago

      Im married and it still helps me.... Love it!!

    • anonymous 7 years ago

      i love them!

    • anonymous 7 years ago

      single people need rules but the thing is when you follow the rules and get with someone what do you do? couples need rules too.

    • anonymous 7 years ago

      There some good rules to this that women should follow. It makes love easier and last a lot longer than you think

    • anonymous 7 years ago

      They make complete sense! Women treat dating as some big complicated game. The rules are simple, too simple for some women to grasp. Women think "Is it really that easy?" Yes! Just have a little common sense!

    • anonymous 7 years ago

      they arent wat people think is wat you should do but it is. hes a successful matchmaker for a reason. CAUSE HE KNOWS WAT HES DOING!

    • mosaic lm 7 years ago

      Can sound harsh, but some people need a wake up call!

    They are ridiculous. He gets paid to tell people that?

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      • anonymous 6 years ago

        I fist bump on the regular and i have hella sex

      • anonymous 6 years ago

        Rule #1 Don't talk, ever. Then you won't ever say anything that might give some superficial guy might not like. Oh and if he says things you don't like, go with it, or he may not like you!

      • anonymous 6 years ago

        Yeah, make sure you trick people into falling in love with you by playing this game with all of these rules, so that your "match" doesn't find out who you really are until you are knocked up and he's stuck.

      • neil_ward 7 years ago

        7/10 - mostly good stuff but also some points that I disagree with thrown in.

        http://www.top-dating-coach.com

      • anonymous 7 years ago

        niggazs mayne shyt

      Season 1

      Watch Season 1 On Demand from Amazon

      What Men Really Think

      Tough Love Rules from Episode One, First aired 3/15/09

      • #76 - A first date is never a good time to air your dirty laundry.
      • #53 - Don't bring wedding plans up on a date or else a guy's gonna think your biological clock is more like a stopwatch.
      • #19 - There's no room for hypocrisy in dating. If you won't date guys older than you, don't expect younger guys to want to date you.
      • #1 - Don't be weird.
      • #12 - Don't go fishing for compliments. If a guy thinks you look good, he will tell you.

      Red Flags and White Lies

      Tough Love Rules from Episode Two, First aired 3/22/09

      • #75 - Shut your yap. Women, I know you want the guy to know you so you both can feel more comfortable, but when you give the guy too much information, you're going to ruin the fantasy, and he's not going to want to come back for more.
      • #21 - You should only text on an N2K basis. That's stuff you need to know, like I'm running late or I can't make it or I'm married.

      Sex and the Male Brain

      Tough Love Rules from Episode Three, First aired 3/29/09

      • #73 - Don't try to outthink love. Love is emotional, not cerebral. Sometimes you can be so smart, it makes you stupid.
      • #14 - Get a little closer. Send the guy some signals. Don't just play with your hair, make eye contact, gaze at his lips. And if all else fails, kiss him yourself.

      Friends Don't Let Friends Date Bitches

      Tough Love Rules from Episode Four, First aired 4/5/09

      No rules revealed.

      Dollars and Sex

      Tough Love Rules from Episode Five, First aired 4/12/09

      • #100 - Everybody gets rejected, but it's important to try to learn something from it.

      Dirty Little Secrets

      Tough Love Rules from Episode Six, First aired 4/19/09

      • #31 - When revealing secrets, turn a negative into a positive. Don't just let him in on a negative experience. Tell him how it's helped you grow.
      • #84 - Don't assume a guy you're dating looks at a dollar bill the same way you do. Everyone has a different relationship with money.
      • #91 - Don't use a secret as a weapon. Reveal it in a way that makes you bond, not one that sends him running for cover.

      Return of the Exes

      Tough Love Rules from Episode Seven, First aired 4/26/09

      • #36 - A partial truth is still a lie. Telling only part of the truth is like being a little bit pregnant.

      Season Finale

      Tough Love Rules from Season Finale, First aired 5/3/09

      • #33 - When asking out a guy, try not to be nervous. Most guys love being asked out since they're usually the one doing the asking. So, be confident and direct.

      Watch Tough Love On the Web

      Get full episodes on VH1.com.

      All the Rules in Numerical Order

      All the lessons of Tough Love bootcamp

      • #1 - Don't be weird.
      • #4 - Remember your date's name! What, are you going to say, "hey you" all day long?
      • #8 - Never let a pretty face fool you.
      • #11 - Don't dominate the conversation. If you're giving a guy a checklist when you first meet him, you can just check yourself right off his list. It's a complete turn-off.
      • #12 - Don't go fishing for compliments. If a guy thinks you look good, he will tell you.
      • #14 - Get a little closer. Send the guy some signals. Don't just play with your hair, make eye contact, gaze at his lips. And if all else fails, kiss him yourself.
      • #14 - If you want a guy to kiss you, kiss him! (Season 2)
      • #19 - There's no room for hypocrisy in dating. If you won't date guys older than you, don't expect younger guys to want to date you.
      • #20 - You don't keep your ear to the ground, you'll never hear the buffalo coming. If you're into a guy so much that you can't pay attention to anything he's saying, you might miss some need-to-know information.
      • #21 - You should only text on an N2K basis. That's stuff you need to know, like I'm running late or I can't make it or I'm married.
      • #31 - When revealing secrets, turn a negative into a positive. Don't just let him in on a negative experience. Tell him how it's helped you grow.
      • #33 - When asking out a guy, try not to be nervous. Most guys love being asked out since they're usually the one doing the asking. So, be confident and direct.
      • #36 - A partial truth is still a lie. Telling only part of the truth is like being a little bit pregnant.
      • #48 - Put a cork in it. Telling a guy how much you like to drink makes you sound like a loser.
      • #53 - Don't bring wedding plans up on a date or else a guy's gonna think your biological clock is more like a stopwatch.
      • #54 - Don't order a guy around. If you're barking orders, he'll eventually just bark back.
      • #55 - Stop staring, please. Making eye contact shows you confidence, but too much makes you look a little crazy.
      • #59 - Do not under any circumstances, do not fist bump anyone you might want to have sex with. It's like having a tattoo on your knuckles that say, "Just Friends."
      • #66 - No guy ever is excited to meet your ex. He's only playing it cool because he doesn't want to embarrass you or himself.
      • #70 - Less is more. Especially when it comes to sexual partners. For women, it should be like a golf score, the lower the better.
      • #73 - Don't try to outthink love. Love is emotional, not cerebral. Sometimes you can be so smart, it makes you stupid.
      • #75 - Shut your yap. Women, I know you want the guy to know you so you both can feel more comfortable, but when you give the guy too much information, you're going to ruin the fantasy, and he's not going to want to come back for more.
      • #76 - A first date is never a good time to air your dirty laundry.
      • #77 - Don't try too hard. Faking sexy is like bad plastic surgery. It only takes a glance to know it ain't real.
      • #79 - Never call your date "friend." Otherwise, he'll think romance is off the table because he's in the "friend" zone.
      • #81 - When accepting a gift from a guy, the value of it should be appropriate to how you really feel about him. Otherwise, you'll come off pretty cold-hearted and even greedy.
      • #84 - Don't assume a guy you're dating looks at a dollar bill the same way you do. Everyone has a different relationship with money.
      • #87 - If you want to impress a guy, don't speak with your mouth full of food.
      • #91 - Don't use a secret as a weapon. Reveal it in a way that makes you bond, not one that sends him running for cover.
      • #100 - Everybody gets rejected, but it's important to try to learn something from it.

      What are your opinions on Tough Love and its love rules?

      Fan of VH1's Tough Love? - Tell us what you think

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        • Umberto Oliviera profile image

          Umberto Oliviera 11 months ago

          Thanks for this great article!

          http://www.10best-datingsites.com

        • profile image

          anonymous 4 years ago

          #1. Don't be weird, best advice ever

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          anonymous 5 years ago

          well i love the show and i take notes myself because i want to know what and what not to do around a guy i like. i am a bigggg fan i love you steve....muah muah

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          websitedating 5 years ago

          thanks for this blog site that i was able to learn new things on the other hand take in consideration what should be done on some cases like the above mentioned topic. Try visiting this site very reliable - http://www.personalsmen.org/

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          anonymous 5 years ago

          Tough love usually comes up as an issue when someone else is out of control. Try to meet and dating unique person.

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          anonymous 5 years ago

          Tough love means falling in love without frustrations like on you just give 50 percent of your love towards to that person. Usually, you will know it through date.

        • profile image

          anonymous 5 years ago

          the rules to tough love may seem like common sense and something everyone knows already, and that may just be the case but we find ourself breaking them other than abiding by them! why is that?

        • profile image

          kymillia 6 years ago

          Tough Love rules

          kym

          dating older women

        • profile image

          anonymous 6 years ago

          This is a good site to go with tough love: www.whyhedidntcall.com

        • StellaSingles profile image

          StellaSingles 6 years ago

          Entertaining yes, but real - far from it. I enjoy the fun and exciting value it has - but I don't think it holds much validity to actual daters. While some may experience issues similar to those that these girls face - chances are these insecurities aren't broadcasted to millions of viewers and thus have a lesser chance to manifest themselves into major problems. If you are having body image troubles or are notorious for choosing abusive partners for example, seek help, don't wait.

          (Stella Belmar) - - http://www.stellasingles.com

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          timothy6218 6 years ago

          Thank you for sharing. I love this page and I've bookmarked it and added it to my favs websites. My top dating website is http://www.wantadatefast.com The site is well designed with many positive comments.

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          anonymous 6 years ago

          Thanks for lens about Dating Rules with Tough Love. i like its for the show.. it will the best for your couple..

          http://tryanewlife.com

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          anonymous 7 years ago

          Great article thanks!

          Maayan

          http://www.top10bestdatingsites.com/

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          anonymous 7 years ago

          i think they will help you. by the way i am watching it now it is the best..... love the show

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          anonymous 7 years ago

          I do not agree with rule#21 Some guys do like to txt and even tell u to txt them, But Steve :) I would love to be on your' show.