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Twenty reasons you know you're no longer in the North.

Updated on February 2, 2013

I couldn't believe how vastly different our worlds were, and no I'm not talking about one continent to another, but the Northern half of the United States to the Southern half. For a Northern boy, who was born and raised in New Jersey and spent the majority of his life up that way, coming to the South was a little bit of a culture shock. Here is a list of twenty things that I come across during my time here, that cemented the fact to me, that I was no longer in the North.

20. Eating parts of a pig that shouldn't been eaten, unless of course they are in the form of a hot dog...like snouts, feet and testicles.

19. Sweet tea and barbecue.

18. Expressions like howdy, hell yeah, yee haw, y'all...and of course git-r-done.

17. Jean jackets and John Deere hats.

16. Everyone owns either a pick up truck or a riding lawn mower.

15. Religious paraphernalia everywhere you go.

14. Names like Cletus, Billy Bob and Jojo...and that's just the women's names.

13. Haven't met a Southerner who wasn't for war.

12. Hunting and hanging animal heads all over your home like you really did something special...if you actually killed Yogi with your bare hands, then I would be impressed, until then stop bragging and acting like you accomplished some amazing feat.

11. They never met a Western movie they didn't like...well that is except for Brokeback Mountain...cowboys are supposed to be riding bulls and horses...not each other.

10. NASCAR.

9. Truck tires so big, when they pull in front of the sun it's like a lunar eclipse.

8. Going to Walmart for a good time.

7. Fireworks...I've never saw people get so excited about things blowing up.

6. Chewing tobacco and spitting it in bottles and cups.

5. Fake testicles hanging from the back of a car/truck bumper.

4. Mullet and rat tail hairstyles.

3. Everyone carries a weapon, is against abortion, hates gays and loves to eat...and they really want to make sure that you agree with all their beliefs...at all costs.

2. No shoes, no shirt, no service means absolutely nothing in the South.

1. People fly the Confederate flag (aka Rebel flag) proudly, as if they really won the Civil War...and when asked why, they say for heritage. That's like your kid getting an "F" on a school paper and you hanging it proudly on the fridge for all to see.

MJM

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    • MichaelJohnMele profile imageAUTHOR

      Michael John Mele 

      4 years ago from Seffner, Florida

      @tomkat156 ewww that's just grodie.

    • profile image

      tomkat156 

      4 years ago

      not to mention up north sex life is over at 30 down here ya can get little cuties till your almost 50

    • MichaelJohnMele profile imageAUTHOR

      Michael John Mele 

      5 years ago from Seffner, Florida

      @ novascotiamiss those are all great additions to the list…and honestly I wish I would have thought of them myself…dang it.

      I would love to see a list going the other way…I bet it would be hilarious…and at the same time really interesting to see how they view us.

      Thank you for reading, commenting and the kind words…I really appreciate it.

    • novascotiamiss profile image

      Novascotiamiss 

      5 years ago from Nova Scotia, Canada

      Very funny! If you need a few additional points how about the standard gun racks in the pick-up trucks, the Klu Klux Clan as a social club, obese people in wheelchairs drinking gallon sized sodas etc... I hope that your hub will encourage somebody from down South to write an equally funny hub about people from up North.

    • MichaelJohnMele profile imageAUTHOR

      Michael John Mele 

      5 years ago from Seffner, Florida

      @KT Banks you know what, I never thought about it in reverse...I'm sure us Northerners and our way of life did scare many people from the South...for God sakes it scared me and I lived it.

    • KT Banks profile image

      KT Banks 

      5 years ago from Texas

      O-M-G, You didn't have sweet tea and barbecue!?! LOL

      The first time I ever left Texas, I was 12 years old, we went to Massachusetts. I felt like we were in a different Country. I couldn't understand a word they said. It's funny now, but at the time it was very disconcerting. I am guilty of 5 out of your list of 20. I enjoyed this hub. Thanks!

    • MichaelJohnMele profile imageAUTHOR

      Michael John Mele 

      5 years ago from Seffner, Florida

      Yes I do...and she was so right...it's so crazy how different they are.

    • LKMore01 profile image

      LKMore01 

      5 years ago

      Loved this, Michael. Having divided my time between the North and the South your observations are pretty spot on! Remember in the movie "Sweet Home Alabama" where Melanie says "you need a passport to come down here.."?

    • MichaelJohnMele profile imageAUTHOR

      Michael John Mele 

      5 years ago from Seffner, Florida

      @girishpuri thank you very much.

    • girishpuri profile image

      Girish puri 

      5 years ago from NCR , INDIA

      Hilarious, i enjoyed your hub. God bless.

    • MichaelJohnMele profile imageAUTHOR

      Michael John Mele 

      5 years ago from Seffner, Florida

      @Denise thank you very much...and you do the same.

    • Denise Handlon profile image

      Denise Handlon 

      5 years ago from North Carolina

      Ha ha ha, that is funny, Michael. lol Enjoy your night.

    • MichaelJohnMele profile imageAUTHOR

      Michael John Mele 

      5 years ago from Seffner, Florida

      @fpherj48 you are so right...there are more...many, many more.

      @Denise you know what, I never thought about that before...I grew up white-trash...but I have a redneck sounding name...crazy.

    • Denise Handlon profile image

      Denise Handlon 

      5 years ago from North Carolina

      This is hilarious! And, being from the North (Michigan), I concur with all your findings. May I also add that your name sounds like it fits in, Michael John. Two thumbs up and FUNNY!

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 

      5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      That's right, Toto...."we're not in Kansas anymore." A life-long New Yorker here...I visit my son(s) at least once a year in Atlanta (suburbs) and there is most definitely a major difference.

      You mentioned a lot...but we both know, there's more.

      Very funny! I love# 17..#8 ..and #4!! LOL...UP+++

    • MichaelJohnMele profile imageAUTHOR

      Michael John Mele 

      5 years ago from Seffner, Florida

      @Georgie you are so right...and great additions to the list...I forgot about the giant belt buckles down here.

      I'm not hating on the South...I live here now, it is my home...I just think it's funny how different people are down here from up North.

    • Georgie Lowery profile image

      GH Price 

      5 years ago from North Florida

      Being from Virginia (and the southern part of it at that) I wanted to argue. But yup. They're all true! I would also add 1. Everybody knows what you're doing before you do and they'll notify everybody they know before you even get started. 2. Grits, greens and/or cornbread for at least two meals of the day. 3. BELT BUCKLES. 4. Directions aren't given in miles. It's either "Make a right turn by the Piggly Wiggly" or "It's down yonder about half an hour."

      In all seriousness, however, the south is the only place I've ever felt like I was at home.

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