The Top Ten Uncool-Cool-People
I've always been amazed by the lengths that people will go to to be cool. However, there are just some things that blow my mind. We all do these things to some extent. We try to impress the people around us, and in so doing, we sometimes look the fool.
In this lens we're going to have a look at the top 10 uncool things that people do to be cool. I'm sure this list could be HUGE! For example, the picture beside this text is one of the uncool things I thought of when compiling this list with my wife--I absolutely hate it when people wear their hats on sideways. I've never understood why they do it, and it looks ridiculous in my opinion. Backwards and forwards I understand...but sideways?
This lens is supposed to be fun. Everything in this lens is just a reflection of my personal opinion, so please don't be offended. Life's too short to take everything seriously, don't you agree?
Well, without further ado, let's have a look at the top 10 uncool things people do to be cool!
#10: The Chicklet-Chick-Flip
My son, Josh, was kind enough to demonstrate the chicklet-chick-flip. Notice the hair toss, and melted face look at the end of it. My other son, Daniel, did this a few days ago. I happened to notice and laugh.
In my opinion, women do this type of hair toss and it usually ends up seeming kind of sexy. Men or boys on the other hand, rarely pull it off with the same decorum.
My wife and I saw a classic case of the chicklet-chick-flip a few months ago. We were driving along and were about to make a left-hand turn onto our street. There was a young man walking along with his girlfriend. As we waited for them to cross the street, the guy in question performed a classic chicklet-chick-flip. His face was turned towards us, lips peeled back from his gums, pimply face staring directly at us in all it's glory. As we both tried to stifle our laughter, the guy realized what his face must look like. You could see the understanding light up his eyes, and he quickly turned away.
Thankfully his girlfriend didn't get a good look at his face. He may have been single again in the very near future.
#9: Trailer Trash Tramp
We've all seen this person walking our streets. They're usually overweight, which is fine, but for the love of GOD, why do they insist on wearing trashy clothes that show WAY too much skin?
Look, it's bad enough seeing women wearing skanky clothes. I mean, for me at least, while it might be okay at first (what guy doesn't like to see a beautiful woman half-clothed) it leaves very little to the imagination. In fact, I love seeing women dressed in a nice dress or dress suit. I find that extremely sexy.
However, I don't want to see excess flesh flapping around in the breeze, while the pants groan under the strain. I have no problem with people who are overweight- the problem lies in the way they insist on wearing skimpy, no holds barred clothes.
#8: Summer Guy
Summer guy is a harmless sort, and he or she doesn't even realize that they look ridiculous when they wear their sunglasses inside. It could be raining cats and dogs outside, but summer guy will not under any circumstances remove his sunglasses.
When I see these people I feel like shaking them, but I know it wouldn't do any good. They're convinced that the sunglasses perched on their nose makes them look cool, and there's nothing I could do to change their opinion.
Let's get something straight: Sunglasses do not make a person cool. They may look stylish when it's sunny outside, but you look extremely foolish when you wear sunglasses when they're not needed. Sunglasses perform a function--they protect your eyes from the sun. They are not really a fashion accessory, although many people think so. If you don't need the sunglasses, you should take them off.
#7: The F-Bomber
Have you ever met someone who can't complete a sentence without blasting out an f-bomb or two...or three or four?
My wife and I like to call these types of people F-bombers. Believe me, you're not cool because you can throw around swear words willy-nilly. It's far more impressive to be able to have a conversation without swearing. Sure, there's a time and place for swearing. I know I do from time-to-time, but it's not cool. It's not impressive and it makes you look trashy.
Now, an intelligent conversation-one where you're able to get a point across or wow me with your knowledge or insight, that's impressive.
#6: We Hear You...You're Still Not Cool
You're driving along, and suddenly your car is vibrating like a plucked guitar string. You look around in wonderment, and finally notice the dork behind you. He or she is bopping their head around, and hoping desperately that people notice how cool their music is.
This is not cool. It's annoying.
I don't give a crap whether or not you have a booming stereo system with rap or heavy metal screaming from it. I enjoy loud music. In fact, I love it, but playing music loud enough that the drivers around you have to cover their ears or risk having them bleed is not cool.
#5: The Butt Crack Boys
When I first saw people wearing their pants so low that the pockets are at their knees, I thought this funny, yet ridiculous fashion would go out of style quickly. But it seems it has some staying power.
I don't pretend to understand. Do they wish to look like plumbers? Actually, I'm shaking my head now.
Even if they were to be chased or found themselves in a scuffle, the pants would be a hindrance. It's tough to look cool when you're getting a beat-down because your pants are around your ankles, underwear on display for all the world to see and unable to defend yourself because your wonderfully cool pants are tripping you up.
Actually, my son has tried to wear this fashion recently. His explanation consisted of it being 'gangsterish'.
So, let me get something straight...to be a super-tough gangster, I have to look like a clown who is unwilling to wear clothes that actually fit me?
I think not. Al Capone is rolling around in his grave now. Out with the trench coats, wide brimmed hats and shades; in with the falling down pants, hat turned sideways and gold chains!
#4: The Mall Rat
The mall rat isn't just found in malls. They're found everywhere. They walk along like they own the place; chests puffed out, arms swaying at their sides, and they refuse to move even a tiny bit when they pass someone. Sometimes there are several mall rats together; creating a line from side-to-side that doesn't allow anyone by.
Not only is the mall rat annoying and rude, but they can be potentially dangerous. Elderly people, disabled people, women and children can all become the victim of the mall rat.
My dad ran into someone like this in the mall. My mom and dad were walking along, and my dad saw a skinny 17ish year old strolling towards him. He was glaring and looking at my dad, and instead of moving, my 57 year old father braced himself. The mall rat connected with my dad's shoulder and went careening into the plate glass window of the nearest store. He was a little shaken up. My dad was very pleased. Nothing else was said, but hopefully, that particular mall rat learned a valuable lesson.
It doesn't take very much effort to be courteous. You won't lose face or seem less cool.
#3: Cracker Jack Driver-The Road Weaver - Cracker Jack Driver: The Road Weaver
When I used to drive for a living I would run into the cracker-jack driver at least once per day.
This strange specimen weaves, dodges and tailgates. They're unconcerned with their own safety and that of the other motorists. They are a menace to society, and while they may think they're cool, they're not.
#2: Roadkill Warrior
These morons insist on walking in the middle of the road, even though there's a perfectly good sidewalk beside them. They can also be seen sidling across the street in an unhurried shuffle. I've even seen this breed of uncool-fool stick their head on the side of a curb, daring motorists to run their air-filled heads over.
How dopey is that?
What goes on in their heads. Is it something like this: I know what I'll do. I'll put my life on the line so that I might seem cool to my friends for 2-3 seconds. Yeah! Perfect!
My two sons, Daniel and Josh, were nice enough to demonstrate in the picture above. The guy waving his fist in the air is me, and my lovely wife took the picture.
#1: Criminal Wannabe's
You've made it! You've read through the other 9 uncool people and made it to number 1 on the list.
Number 1 has to be the criminal wannabe. These people want to be tough. They desire 'street cred' and are willing to put their freedom on the line to get it. What they don't realize is that they're usually pretty dopey. The police on the other hand are pretty smart, and they either get caught or have something embarrassing happen.
Below you'll find two videos that had me in stitches when I found them. I think they're a fitting tribute to our number 1 pick, the Criminal Wannabe.
Um...where am I?
Here we are at number one.
Captain Jack on a Robbery Spree
Do You do any of These Things?
Do you do any of the things mentioned on the list? I know I've caught myself doing them. I've definitely done the Summer Guy!
Do you do any of the things mentioned on the list?
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