ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel


Updated on June 28, 2009

The Top Ten Uncool-Cool-People

I've always been amazed by the lengths that people will go to to be cool. However, there are just some things that blow my mind. We all do these things to some extent. We try to impress the people around us, and in so doing, we sometimes look the fool.

In this lens we're going to have a look at the top 10 uncool things that people do to be cool. I'm sure this list could be HUGE! For example, the picture beside this text is one of the uncool things I thought of when compiling this list with my wife--I absolutely hate it when people wear their hats on sideways. I've never understood why they do it, and it looks ridiculous in my opinion. Backwards and forwards I understand...but sideways?

This lens is supposed to be fun. Everything in this lens is just a reflection of my personal opinion, so please don't be offended. Life's too short to take everything seriously, don't you agree?

Well, without further ado, let's have a look at the top 10 uncool things people do to be cool!

#10: The Chicklet-Chick-Flip

My son, Josh, was kind enough to demonstrate the chicklet-chick-flip. Notice the hair toss, and melted face look at the end of it. My other son, Daniel, did this a few days ago. I happened to notice and laugh.

In my opinion, women do this type of hair toss and it usually ends up seeming kind of sexy. Men or boys on the other hand, rarely pull it off with the same decorum.

My wife and I saw a classic case of the chicklet-chick-flip a few months ago. We were driving along and were about to make a left-hand turn onto our street. There was a young man walking along with his girlfriend. As we waited for them to cross the street, the guy in question performed a classic chicklet-chick-flip. His face was turned towards us, lips peeled back from his gums, pimply face staring directly at us in all it's glory. As we both tried to stifle our laughter, the guy realized what his face must look like. You could see the understanding light up his eyes, and he quickly turned away.

Thankfully his girlfriend didn't get a good look at his face. He may have been single again in the very near future.

#9: Trailer Trash Tramp

We've all seen this person walking our streets. They're usually overweight, which is fine, but for the love of GOD, why do they insist on wearing trashy clothes that show WAY too much skin?

Look, it's bad enough seeing women wearing skanky clothes. I mean, for me at least, while it might be okay at first (what guy doesn't like to see a beautiful woman half-clothed) it leaves very little to the imagination. In fact, I love seeing women dressed in a nice dress or dress suit. I find that extremely sexy.

However, I don't want to see excess flesh flapping around in the breeze, while the pants groan under the strain. I have no problem with people who are overweight- the problem lies in the way they insist on wearing skimpy, no holds barred clothes.

Enough already!

#8: Summer Guy

Summer guy is a harmless sort, and he or she doesn't even realize that they look ridiculous when they wear their sunglasses inside. It could be raining cats and dogs outside, but summer guy will not under any circumstances remove his sunglasses.

When I see these people I feel like shaking them, but I know it wouldn't do any good. They're convinced that the sunglasses perched on their nose makes them look cool, and there's nothing I could do to change their opinion.

Let's get something straight: Sunglasses do not make a person cool. They may look stylish when it's sunny outside, but you look extremely foolish when you wear sunglasses when they're not needed. Sunglasses perform a function--they protect your eyes from the sun. They are not really a fashion accessory, although many people think so. If you don't need the sunglasses, you should take them off.

#7: The F-Bomber

Have you ever met someone who can't complete a sentence without blasting out an f-bomb or two...or three or four?

I have.

My wife and I like to call these types of people F-bombers. Believe me, you're not cool because you can throw around swear words willy-nilly. It's far more impressive to be able to have a conversation without swearing. Sure, there's a time and place for swearing. I know I do from time-to-time, but it's not cool. It's not impressive and it makes you look trashy.

Now, an intelligent conversation-one where you're able to get a point across or wow me with your knowledge or insight, that's impressive.

#6: We Hear You...You're Still Not Cool

You're driving along, and suddenly your car is vibrating like a plucked guitar string. You look around in wonderment, and finally notice the dork behind you. He or she is bopping their head around, and hoping desperately that people notice how cool their music is.

This is not cool. It's annoying.

I don't give a crap whether or not you have a booming stereo system with rap or heavy metal screaming from it. I enjoy loud music. In fact, I love it, but playing music loud enough that the drivers around you have to cover their ears or risk having them bleed is not cool.

#5: The Butt Crack Boys

When I first saw people wearing their pants so low that the pockets are at their knees, I thought this funny, yet ridiculous fashion would go out of style quickly. But it seems it has some staying power.

I don't pretend to understand. Do they wish to look like plumbers? Actually, I'm shaking my head now.

Even if they were to be chased or found themselves in a scuffle, the pants would be a hindrance. It's tough to look cool when you're getting a beat-down because your pants are around your ankles, underwear on display for all the world to see and unable to defend yourself because your wonderfully cool pants are tripping you up.

Actually, my son has tried to wear this fashion recently. His explanation consisted of it being 'gangsterish'.

So, let me get something be a super-tough gangster, I have to look like a clown who is unwilling to wear clothes that actually fit me?

I think not. Al Capone is rolling around in his grave now. Out with the trench coats, wide brimmed hats and shades; in with the falling down pants, hat turned sideways and gold chains!

#4: The Mall Rat

The mall rat isn't just found in malls. They're found everywhere. They walk along like they own the place; chests puffed out, arms swaying at their sides, and they refuse to move even a tiny bit when they pass someone. Sometimes there are several mall rats together; creating a line from side-to-side that doesn't allow anyone by.

Not only is the mall rat annoying and rude, but they can be potentially dangerous. Elderly people, disabled people, women and children can all become the victim of the mall rat.

My dad ran into someone like this in the mall. My mom and dad were walking along, and my dad saw a skinny 17ish year old strolling towards him. He was glaring and looking at my dad, and instead of moving, my 57 year old father braced himself. The mall rat connected with my dad's shoulder and went careening into the plate glass window of the nearest store. He was a little shaken up. My dad was very pleased. Nothing else was said, but hopefully, that particular mall rat learned a valuable lesson.

It doesn't take very much effort to be courteous. You won't lose face or seem less cool.

#3: Cracker Jack Driver-The Road Weaver - Cracker Jack Driver: The Road Weaver

When I used to drive for a living I would run into the cracker-jack driver at least once per day.

This strange specimen weaves, dodges and tailgates. They're unconcerned with their own safety and that of the other motorists. They are a menace to society, and while they may think they're cool, they're not.

#2: Roadkill Warrior

These morons insist on walking in the middle of the road, even though there's a perfectly good sidewalk beside them. They can also be seen sidling across the street in an unhurried shuffle. I've even seen this breed of uncool-fool stick their head on the side of a curb, daring motorists to run their air-filled heads over.

How dopey is that?

What goes on in their heads. Is it something like this: I know what I'll do. I'll put my life on the line so that I might seem cool to my friends for 2-3 seconds. Yeah! Perfect!

My two sons, Daniel and Josh, were nice enough to demonstrate in the picture above. The guy waving his fist in the air is me, and my lovely wife took the picture.

Thanks guys!

#1: Criminal Wannabe's

You've made it! You've read through the other 9 uncool people and made it to number 1 on the list.

Number 1 has to be the criminal wannabe. These people want to be tough. They desire 'street cred' and are willing to put their freedom on the line to get it. What they don't realize is that they're usually pretty dopey. The police on the other hand are pretty smart, and they either get caught or have something embarrassing happen.

Below you'll find two videos that had me in stitches when I found them. I think they're a fitting tribute to our number 1 pick, the Criminal Wannabe.

Um...where am I?

Here we are at number one.

Captain Jack on a Robbery Spree

Do You do any of These Things?

Do you do any of the things mentioned on the list? I know I've caught myself doing them. I've definitely done the Summer Guy!

Do you do any of the things mentioned on the list?

See results

The Laugh Away group at Squidoo is home to the funniest lenses - click on the laughing man to start yourself laughing. This group is for all lenses related to Humor, Jokes, Funny Pictures, Funny Videos, Amusing Stories etc.

Let me know what you thought. If you want to add to this list, leave your suggestion here!

What did you think of this lens?

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      حبوب تكبير القضيب 2 years ago

      حبوب تكبير القضيب

    • profile image

      Ramon 2 years ago

      Cool website. Guys just sharing, I've found this interesting! Check it out!

    • profile image

      shivareddy 3 years ago

      Hi frnds I’m from

      this is the first time I visited this blog…

      seriously I liked a lot.. :D

      I would love 2 visit the site again :)

    • profile image

      Alex 3 years ago

      Guys just sharing, I've found this interesting! Check it out!

    • profile image

      James Barnet 3 years ago

    • delithium profile image

      delithium 3 years ago

      Id only class these people as cool if they where driving one of the cars from this list:

      So I doubt any of these 10 would do haha! so Uncool!

    • Lady Lorelei profile image

      Lorelei Cohen 5 years ago from Canada

      I think that you are bang on. There are definitely better ways to show your cool than to be gang-cool.

    • JenwithMisty profile image

      Jen withFlash 5 years ago

      Very funny!! Especially the pants. I can't get into the penguin walk.. I can't figure out what's so cool about it and whenever I see a kid doing it, I can't help but tell them to pull those pants up!!

    • Staceysk profile image

      Staceysk 6 years ago

      Funny. I'm guilty of keeping my sunglasses on year round.

    • profile image

      dejaviewer 6 years ago

      very funny videos. Great lens =)

    • Othercatt profile image

      Othercatt 7 years ago

      This was so funny! I loved the videos. I wonder if Jack ever got caught? lol

    • junecampbell profile image

      June Campbell 7 years ago from North Vancouver, BC, Canada

      Very funny lens! Thanks

    • Cherry-Ambition profile image

      Cherry-Ambition 8 years ago from U.S.

      Hehe, I laughed at that first video, where the guy seems to be throwing bricks at a plexi-glass window (and doesn't even know that he knocked his friend out before knocking himself out). I think Jay Leno mentioned this once...

    • profile image

      anonymous 8 years ago

      This lens is hilarious! Love the original pics! Thanks for giving my How to be a Tough Guy lens a five star rating!

    • profile image

      anonymous 8 years ago

      Delightfulicious lens. 5* and lensrolled to Redneck Martha's Past Lives lens. PS- you can use the word 'delightfulicious', but only if you quote me :)

    • Kailua-KonaGirl profile image

      June Parker 8 years ago from New York

      This lens is one of those "if you don't laugh you'll cry" because they are just so-o-o true. I am often guilty of forgetting to take off the shades. I did get a great laugh from some of the great images you used to represent these characters that we love to hate.

      5 stars for a great lens!

      BTW - Thanks for stopping by my Nox Arcana lens.

    • profile image

      anonymous 8 years ago

      Funny. I'm going to read everybody else's suggestions now.

    • EpicFarms profile image

      EpicFarms 8 years ago

      Too funny! I work at a high school that is chock full of "buttless boys", and I'm afraid I still don't understand that one :o) I have to say, Coffee Shop Guy is an embarrassment to criminals everywhere! Well done lens.

    • religions7 profile image

      religions7 8 years ago

      Great lens - you've been blessed by a squidoo angel :)

    • karatepooh profile image

      karatepooh 8 years ago

      Hey, I've seen every one! I've pointed out the "hat" thing to several kids when I used to drive a school bus. Thanks for the laugh!

    • TreasuresBrenda profile image

      Treasures By Brenda 8 years ago from Canada

      Well done & blessed by an Angel!

    • OhMe profile image

      Nancy Tate Hellams 9 years ago from Pendleton, SC

      Those photos are too much. I love the one of your son. Great work here. funny!

    • Slothlover LM profile image

      Slothlover LM 9 years ago

      Funny! 5 stars and made me laugh! :)

    • profile image

      dannystaple 9 years ago

      This lens was good fun. I do meet these people, often observed while waiting at a bus stop in London. Perhaps the most amusing anecdote was a bunch of school kids. They came around the corner, went into the shop 2 by 2 (the shop keeper only allows two unaccompanied school kids), then regrouped with crisps, pop and sweets. They walked down the street dropping wrappers, throwing half drunk cans/bottles at stuff, kicking over street furniture - all little random acts of vandalism, and I wandered if this is what it must be like to watch a troupe of monkeys... I chuckled to myself a little on that before the bus turned up.

    • KathrynDarden profile image

      Kathryn Darden 9 years ago

      Great lens. These are the top ten people I love to hate!

    • kerbev profile image

      kab 9 years ago from Upstate, NY

      How about the Oblivious Walmart Shopper who walks out of walmart directly into the lane of traffic without even glancing to the side to see if there is a car coming. Best when done with children. Not cool.

    • Janusz LM profile image

      Janusz LM 9 years ago

      I spent way to long on this Lens!! it´s just way to good :D thanks youvé been blessed.

    • profile image

      GloriaBooth 9 years ago

      Love this lens. It's funny yet true. Great combination!

    • mysticmama lm profile image

      Bambi Watson 9 years ago

      very the trailer trash chick...I grew up between my grandmas trailer and the hippy I personally find the whole trailer park humor of my favorite shows is "trailer Park Boys" they just crack me up...of course I have to rent them on netflix, because they aren't on tv here in the U.S....being a Canadian show...but way better than that "TPB" copycat "my name is Earl" show we have here in the States...see I'm rambling again..lmao! 5*

    • profile image

      anonymous 9 years ago

      Very funny! F-Bombers annoy me the most. I pride myself on the ability to use a variety of colorful language and not rely upon just one word :)

    • schofieldml profile image

      schofieldml 9 years ago

      Wow! This is a funny lens. I swear you see this stuff everyday and the people that do them think they are cool but hey are not. 5*

    • profile image

      anonymous 9 years ago

      Excellent description of all my favorite uncool cools. Might I add

      "Amplifier mouth" - the dudes that talk so loud like the whole world is interested in their yabbering about their latest cool sneakers or whatever.

      "Offspring Show-off-ers" - Moms who are sooooooo proud of their talented (read that painfully UNtalented) princess darlings that they bore the socks off everyone by bragging at 80mph for what seems like eternity.

    • profile image

      anonymous 9 years ago

      Love it!!! I've featured it in the same lens that I featured your Teenager in. Have a look...

    • profile image

      anonymous 9 years ago

      That first criminal clip is hilarious!! Great work. And definitely, the list could go on for a long while :)

    • MatCauthon profile image

      MatCauthon 9 years ago

      Bwahahahahah!!! Dumb criminals are really dumb... 5*

    • profile image

      likeapenguin 9 years ago


    • profile image

      Kowgirl 9 years ago

      It took me a while to type this as I couldn't stop laughing. The pics were what did me in. Great selection of photos and a great lens.

      I live next to a Jr. High School and a High School so I see a lot of "butt crack"

      Well not many butts but a lot of underwear, if they wear any....

      We may disapprove of their choice of fashion but the cops love it, makes them so much easier to chase down.

    • financialadvise profile image

      financialadvise 9 years ago

      LOL! This was exactly what I needed to read today. I am still laughing. You have done a great lens here, I love the graphics and the way you have expressed your thoughts.

    • jonnnyd23 profile image

      jonnnyd23 9 years ago

      Great lens made me lmao!! keep it up. 5 stars

    • profile image

      seegreen 9 years ago

      I hate the music blaring from cars. Usually it's just a loud thumping that is really annoying. Why do people do this? Why would I want to hear someone elses bass? Funny lens, but unfortunately there are many who fit into these stereotypes.

    • jrr2112 profile image

      jrr2112 9 years ago

      Man, I was laughing all the way to the guestbook, this lens was great! These things drive me crazy too, love the pictures you placed to go along with them! Awesome lens, 5*****, and favourited!

    • profile image

      moneymaking12345 9 years ago

      hey great lens and 5* what a good rank also!

    • profile image

      roarman 9 years ago

      (takes off sunglasses) Awesome lens!!

    • Niki Goddard profile image

      Niki Goddard 9 years ago

      This lens is great. I think everyone can relate to at least one of these points. Very well written too. Thanks!

    • SugarPirate profile image

      SugarPirate 9 years ago

      VERY funny lens! 5 well-earned stars. My favorite is #6, the loud car stereo. There's an inverse relationship between the quality of the music and the volume. How come you never hear anybody blasting Vivaldi?

    • MoxieMalone profile image

      MoxieMalone 9 years ago

      Great job. I had a good belly laugh. Thanks. 5 stars for you.

    • CatharinaE LM profile image

      CatharinaE LM 9 years ago

      So you're telling me I'm not cool? I'm guilty of all the above-mentioned! Just kidding!!! Very funny lens, I love it! 5* for cool lens!

    • Ramkitten2000 profile image

      Deb Kingsbury 9 years ago from Flagstaff, Arizona

      Oh my gosh, this is funny! I'll bet I see at least one example of each of these daily. That is, I would if I were looking, which I try not to do. Great job on this one, Mike!

    • divacratus 2 profile image

      divacratus 2 9 years ago

      Hilarious! Five stars from me :)

    • TonyPayne profile image

      Tony Payne 9 years ago from Southampton, UK

      This lens has been warmly welcomed into the "Laugh Away" group on Squidoo. I have Favorited it, and also Lensrolled it to my Humor lenses as it definitely has proved itself worthy.

    • TonyPayne profile image

      Tony Payne 9 years ago from Southampton, UK

      Very funny lens 5*****. I agree with everything you wrote. People look like idiots with baseball caps on sideways, even worse at 45 degrees. And as for the moronic "gangster" look with jeans 10 sizes too big that keep falling down and the crotch down to their knees. I would love to see these idiots trying to run from someone, one hand trying to stop them from falling down... I am adding this as featured lens to My Pet Peeves as it fits in perfectly.

    • profile image

      EasternVoice 9 years ago

      Like...I give you a 5...cos like your lens is funny...and like...these people really uncool!

    • profile image

      ttwee 9 years ago

      This is really a very 'human' humor site, nicely done! 5 stars for mike! :)

    • profile image

      writer_wife 9 years ago

      Turned out awesome Mike! Great job. As always *****.

      And we see the majority of these people each and every day - sometimes we laugh, sometimes we want to smack 'em upside the head!

      I laugh before I even hit play, since I've watched the videos so often - great lens!

    • profile image

      SunilWWW 9 years ago

      I have very much experienced No.6 type. When some cars pass by our house, their music is so loud that the entire building vibrates! :D

    • profile image

      alexei2ru 9 years ago

      Great lens and sooo true. I think everyone of us has met people like them. Every country, every community has uncool-cool-people :).

    • ariding lm profile image

      ariding lm 9 years ago

      The best part about this is that we all know people who we would classify in some of these categories! Great lens.

    • Kylyssa profile image

      Kylyssa Shay 9 years ago from Overlooking a meadow near Grand Rapids, Michigan, USA

      Great lens and quite amusing.

    • profile image

      anonymous 9 years ago

      Hilarious! What a great lens! Perfect as is and 5*

    • unique freak77 profile image

      unique freak77 9 years ago

      LOL awesome lens, I can definitely see you put a lot of work into it. Hilarious and so true. i know quite a few people who always wear sunglasses indoors! haha :) five stars!

    • Christine Cameron profile image

      Christine Cameron 9 years ago

      The Captain Jack vid had me rolling! Thanks for pointing out all the stupid things that, um... other people do (not myself of course!)

    • Jack2205 profile image

      Jack 9 years ago

      Great lens. 5* I agree that these things are uncool and offensive.

    • profile image

      anonymous 9 years ago

      Great lens and I totally agree with your list. 5*

    • The-Bard profile image

      The-Bard 9 years ago

      Shockingly entertaining with tongue firmly in cheek! This could be anywhere in the world, so although your observations are stateside they mirror brilliantly the UK.

      There are few lenses which I read from beginning to end - regardless of their excellent content. I can generally span a critical or appreciative eye, and recognise the occasional gems which hold my attention. This is certainly one of those!

      However, to spare your son's street cred, it may not be a good Idea to have him repeatedly swinging his head even though it is a demonstration. You may want to amend that before his mates get wind of it!

      5*s - Paul

    • profile image

      Bobi2009 9 years ago

      I enjoyed them all and can relate to them all. Many of them, if not all, are among my pet peeves!! However, I am guilty of the sunglasses, not always in the sun but in bright lights as in Walmart. Sometimes, I just don't want to be recognized if I'm in a hurry, because I don't want to be stopped for small-talk.

      Thanks for the laugh...I'm glad I'm not the only one that finds these actions offensive!!