Vacation Stories: You think you've got it bad?
It's summer, are you ready?
So, summer is right around the corner and you know what that means: suntan lotion, forced family outings, and tropical vacation spots! Now, we all look forward to summer for a variety of reasons, but the number one reason is for pure relaxation! Who doesn't like sitting at the beach drinking a nice cold beverage while your personal butler waits on you hand and foot. "Shall I give the shark your last piece of stake or will your Ex suffice?" Asks the butler. You smile and reply, "Well [insert name here] always liked sea creatures."
Now that we are all on vacation mode (don't bother denying it), we should probably go over the SOPs. What are the SOPs? The SOPs are the Standard Operating Procedures that will ensure your survival this summer. Don't worry, it's nothing too complex...It's just a few guidelines to help you survive your summer vacation.
Here there are:
1. If you are traveling abroad memorize these three words: HELP, Bathroom, and IOU.
2. Make sure to put your money somewhere safe...Some traffickers might suggest swallowing it (it might take a while to get it back)
3. Make friends with the locals because they usually know where the escape routes out of the country are.
4. Make sure that your medical records are up to date (trust me, your foreign "doctor" will need to know when your kidney expires)
5. Partake in the local festivities even if it requires a human sacrifice, espionage, or bribery (you don't want to seem antisocial)
6. Make sure to give your family and friends a recent picture of yourself (you don't want your loved ones telling your kidnappers that they've got the wrong person)
MOST importantly, have fun! It is your summer vacation after all? And travel light, I better not see your footprint on the ozone layer!
Psst: The images in this lens are copyrighted, I do not own them.
Remember to participate in the local festivities (it's important to make new friends)
Vacations from Hell
Altright, let's say that you didn't pay attention to the SOPs and you went on vacation. What could possibly happen, you ask? Well, here are a few real life stories that will answer your question. To protect these individuals I have given them code names
"I was at virginia beach with my travel camp. a few kids thought that is was funny to burry this kid's bag. they marked the spot and then left to go into the water. the kid came back and was really upset (his bag had all his money, cd player, etc. in it). unfortunatly, the marked spot was blown away by the wind and the kids who burried the bag didn't remember where it was. it took 3 hours to finally dig it up, and it was me that finally found it". ~hide da money
"While on vacation in Peru I was rushed to the hospital when my appendix burst! Luckily I got there in time and everything turned out great. My only problem is I had them removed two months before I went on vacation! The first doctor didn't do anything except leave a big scar on me!"
"I was in Honduras for a friends wedding, which by the way was the scariest flight i've ever been on the plane goes over a mountain and then comes crashing down before it lands, but that's beside the point. I'm at the hotel when it's announced the president was killed! Turns out it was a coup the entire hotel was full of military I barely left my room!"
~seek american embassy
"I went to Cairo in Egypt.We went to see the pyramides, and I went on a camal ride to see the sphinx.It was extremely cheap, but when I wanted to get off the guy told me that then I would have to pay him.For me, a South-African boy that can't even speak English fluetly (what about arabian!) this was the scariest thing to ever happen to me.The money I had with me was South African, and that he didn't want.So I had to jump off the camal's back and run back to the tourbus in the heat.I was so scared he was gonne follow me, but luckily he left me and found another tourist to terrorise!"
Your vacation wasn't so bad
Along with following SOPs, you have to have the right perspective when it comes to your vacation. Just remember, there are people (young and old) who have had worse. Here are a few videos to lighten your mood.
Warning, some of these images might not be suitable for children (so kids please advise your parents to leave the room).
Make sure to share your experience with a loved one
Don't be stingy, share you experiences with a loved one or close personal friend. Remember your bad situation (whether it's a vacation or a typical day at home) will not seem as bad if you have someone there to share the wonderful experience.