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Whisky Wit and Wisdom

Updated on January 1, 2013

Welcome to Whisky, Wit & Wisdom

How about a toast to something will titillate the tastebuds if not satisfy the delicate nature of one's palate?

The word "whisky" comes from the Gaelic "Uisge Beatha", or "Usquebaugh", which means "water of life." It's also been known as "aqua vitae", " spiritus frumenti", or "fire-water" (and a dram is good for whatever ails you).

So without further ado, welcome to the World of Wit, Wisdom, and Whisky!


Image Credit: Ralph Steadman, "Still Life With Bottle - Whisky According to Ralph Steadman"

A LOOK AT LIFE, LOVE and LIBATIONS... - You never know when the fickle finger of fermented fate will strike!

He had to admit she was no "Manhattan" Maven.

She had to admit that perhaps he was just an "Old-Fashioned Whisky Sour"Puss!


Image Credit:

Will You Have Some Wit & Wisdom With Your Whisky?

life: life is terribly long isn't it? shall we rest?
life: life is terribly long isn't it? shall we rest?

When pen meets prose all sorts of wit and wonk happens.

Me without You
Me without You

For those who have a fondness for love with perhaps a little libation.

Chocolate-Life is A Struggle Between Good, Evil and Chocolate
Chocolate-Life is A Struggle Between Good, Evil and Chocolate

For those who are addicted to sweet stuff with a large dose of humor.

Harolds Planet 2012
Harolds Planet 2012

Snippets of wit and wisdom from Harold's Planet -- and it's a great way to keep all your dazzling dates straight!

You Make Me Happy (Harold's Planet)
You Make Me Happy (Harold's Planet)

For those who appreciate humor and happy thoughts over a nice glass of wine, or a hot cup or coffee/tea.


OH THE WONDERS OF WHISKY - Or, Scottish Spirits by any other name is still Scotch!

Whether you call them Whisky drinks (as the Scots and Canadians spell it) or Whiskey drinks (as Americans and Irish spell it,) there are hundereds of ways to enjoy this lovely libation.



2 oz rye whiskey [whisky]

1 oz lemon juice

1 dash simple syrup

Serving Instructions:

Shake with crushed ice. Strain into glass. Serve in a sour glass. Garnish the whiskey sour with and orange slice and cherry.



2 ounces Rye Whiskey

1 ounce Sweet Vermouth

3 dashes Bitters

Serving Instructions:

Stir and strain into a cocktail glass. Garnish with a cherry.

For those who are looking for more wonderful ways to whet their whistle with are some catchy cocktails to serve your giggling guests!


Image Credit: - image #10141879

Language & Libations

SGRIOB n. the itchiness of the upper lip just before taking a sip of whisky.


In a recent trial of a "bootlegger" in western Kentucky, a witness testified that he had purchased some "squirrel" whisky from the defendant.

"Squirrel whisky?" questioned the court.

"Yes, you know: the kind that makes you talk nutty and want to climb trees."


Image Credit: Guacamole


Queen Elizabeth once demoted a footman for feeding her corgis whisky.

WANT TO IMBIBE AN IRISH IMP? - Try a Leprechaun Libation!


Ingredients & Preparation:

Heat a stemmed whiskey goblet.

Pour in one shot of Irish whiskey.

Add three sugar cubes.

Fill with strong black coffee to within one inch of top. Stir gently.

Top off to the brim with heavy cream slightly aerated.

Serving Instructions:

NOTE: Do not stir after adding cream, as the true flavor is obtained by drinking the coffee and whiskey through the cream.


"There are two things a Highlander likes naked, and one of them is malt whisky."


"If the choice is WHISKY or WATER, consider the facts: Water rusts pipes." (Anonymous words on a coaster)

"I should never have switched from Scotch to Martini's!" (Humphrey Bogart's last words)

"I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch." (George Burns)

"The water was not fit to drink. To make it palatable, we had to add whisky. By diligent effort, I learnt to like it." (Sir Winston Churchill)

"Always carry a large flagon of whisky in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake." (W.C. Fields, 1880-1946)

"Anybody who hates dogs and loves whiskey can't be all bad." (W.C. Fields, 1880-1946)

"We frequently hear of people dying from too much drinking. That this happens is a matter of record. But the blame is always placed on whisky. Why this should be I never could understand. You can die from drinking too much of anything - coffee, water, milk, soft drinks and all such stuff as that. And so as long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing. I will make mine whisky." (W.C. Fields, 1880-1946)

""I Like my whisky old and my women young." (Errol Flynn)

"Whisky is liquid sunshine." (George Bernard Shaw)

"I just had 19 shots of whiskey, I think that's a record." (Dylan Thomas's last words.)

"Too much of anything is bad, but too much of good whiskey is barely enough." (Mark Twain)


Anytime Night or Day -- Give Your Teeth That Telltale Tantalizing, Tingly, Tipply Feeling!


Image Credit:

"May the enemies of Ireland never eat bread nor drink whiskey, but be tormented with itching without benefit of scratching."

ARTFUL ACCOUTREMENT FOR WHISKY LOVERS - For friends of fire water only!

Sagaform Club Glass Double Old Fashioned Tumbler, Set of 2
Sagaform Club Glass Double Old Fashioned Tumbler, Set of 2

For those who like their whisky a sturdy glass thank you!

Godinger Dublin 6-Piece Crystal Whiskey Decanter Set
Godinger Dublin 6-Piece Crystal Whiskey Decanter Set

Nothing says dazzling and delightful than whisky served in a decanter!




If you think wine tasters are snooty and have a laughable language all their own, well look again.

Whisky has its own titillating tasting notes like any bodacious bagpiper or tone-deaf tippler knows:

Colour: Gold.


-- Much, much less peat if any, and a superb fruitiness instead, mixed with the same kinds of vegetal hints as twenty-five years ago.

-- Like "wet un-smoked pipe tobacco".

-- At the fruits department we have the same notes of tangerines and grapefruits but also bold notes of passion fruits and mango.

-- Strong suggestion of vanilla as well, light honey, flower nectar, and ham.

-- The oak is quite present but works as an underlining (akin to a carpenter's workshop).

-- The whole is very demonstrative, for sure, not quite an old fruitbomb but... again hints of wet hay.


-- Starts very nervous, uberfruity with also orange squash, grapefruits (truckloads), soft spices and less oak than on the nose it seems.

-- The finish, which is long, still on these bold fruity notes of course but with maybe more spices, notably pepper and also something slightly resinous.


Image Credit: - image no. 6165556GMO

So What Do Americans Really Think of Scots?

"We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it."

-- Dave Barry --


Jack Daniels Chocolate Cake
Jack Daniels Chocolate Cake

Give your tastebuds a treat!

Drambuie Whisky Cake 28oz can
Drambuie Whisky Cake 28oz can

Baked by "Bonnie Prince Charlie" himself...just kidding!

Whiskypedia: A Compendium of Scottish Whisky
Whiskypedia: A Compendium of Scottish Whisky

Every palate deserves to be treated with respect ... and that means letting it savor the aroma and taste of the best Scottish whisky made!

101 Whiskies to Try Before You Die
101 Whiskies to Try Before You Die

Before you're six feet under and pushing up the daisies, you might want to try the best whiskies in the world!



Bet you didn't know that there's a "Whiskey Dick Mountain" in the state of Washington!

FORGET ABOUT A FLASK OF FIREWATER! - I believe I'll have my Scottish Spirits in a can if you please!

The rather fine folks at "Scottish Spirits", a Panama-based company, have come up with a pretty interesting packaging idea - to sell hard alcohol, specifically whiskey, in a can.

Not a far fetched idea when you come to think of it. After all, aluminum cans are recyclable, lightweight, portable, and convenient for places where glass is unacceptable (like a hot tub or a pool). Frankly, if you can pour whisky from a tiny plastic bottle on any airline, why wouldn't you consider savoring the flavor from a can of conviviality?


Image Credit: Whisky in a can - Scottish Spirits -

How Well Do You Know Your Whisky Cocktails?

Which one isn't a Whisky Cocktail?

See results

You deserve a Whisky Degree! - Particularly if you know what whisky is made of?

Whiskey Lover Degree: Custom Gag Diploma Doctorate Certificate (Funny Customized Joke Gift - Novelty Item)
Whiskey Lover Degree: Custom Gag Diploma Doctorate Certificate (Funny Customized Joke Gift - Novelty Item)

Frankly, anyone who has a taste for whisky, knows how to make a whisky cocktail, and adores "Whisky in the Jar" certainly deserves to be awarded a "Whisky Degree"!


There's Whisky in the Jar!

OUTTA THE MOUTHS OF BABES... - Have a Ho Ho Ho Holiday!

The only whisky for wicked white whiskers! - What Masters of Malt & Merry-Making know best.


Image Credit: 4174310214_2759799a42


Whiskey: The Definitive World Guide
Whiskey: The Definitive World Guide

Welcome to the World of Whiskey ...or if you prefer the alternative spelling..."Whisky".

Still Life with Bottle: Whisky According to Ralph Steadman
Still Life with Bottle: Whisky According to Ralph Steadman

The dazzling if not definitive guide to "Sneeky Peat" by British author and illustrator, Ralph Steadman!

Scotland and its Whiskies: The Great Whiskies, the Distilleries and Their Landscapes
Scotland and its Whiskies: The Great Whiskies, the Distilleries and Their Landscapes

Wouldn't you know the land of kilts, bagpipes, and haggis would also make such great whiskies!


FEEDBACK FROM FIREWATER FOLKS - Feel free to share your favorite wit, wisdom and whisky story or your favorite fermented grain mash -- be it Scotch, Irish, Cana

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