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Zach Galifianakis Quotes

Updated on October 7, 2012

Zach Galifianakis Film and Movie Quotes

Are you looking for Zach Galifianakis quotes from some of the most popular movies he starred in? If so you have come to the right place to find all the best quotes and video quotes from Zach.

Zach Galifianakis is a famous American actor best known for his roles in movies Due Date, where he played Ethan, and Hangover 1 and Hangover 2 where he played Alan. He is currently filming Hangover 3. He is one of the funniest actors out there right out and his quotes are becoming famous.

This page will provide Zach Galifianakis quotes from the Hangover, Hangover 2 and Due Date. These are the most well known Zach Galifianakis films to date.

Zach Galifianakis Films

What is your favorite Zach Galifianakis Film

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Zach Galifianakis Due Date Quotes

Due Date DVD

Funny Due Date Zach Galifianakis (Ethan) Quotes

Peter: Hand me that dog and I will cut it in half.

Ethan: You better check yourself before you wreck yourself

Peter: Why are your father's ashes in a coffee can?

Ethan: Because he's dead Peter.

Ethan: Holy moly, it's like I'm traveling with a child.

Peter: Did you use the restroom?

Ethan: Good point, I need to take a pee pee.

Ethan: Dad you were like a father to me

Zach Galifianakis Hangover Part One Quotes

Alan Wolfpack Speech

Hello... how bout that ride in? I guess thats why they call it Sin City haha. You guys might not know this but I consider myself a bit of a loner. I tend to think of myself as a one man wolf pack. But when my sister brought Doug home, I knew he was one of my own. And my wolf pack, it grew by one. So there... there was two of us in the wolf pack. I was alone first in the pack and Doug joined in later. And six months ago, when Doug introduced me to you guys I thought "wait a second, could it be?" And now I know for sure, I just added two more guys to my wolf pack. Four of us wolves, running around the desert together in Las Vegas, looking for strippers and cocaine.

Zach Galifianakis The Hangover One Quotes

Oh, you know what? Next week's no good for me... The Jonas Brothers are in town. But any week after that, it's totally fine.

Doug: Either way, you gotta be super smart to count cards, buddy, okay?

Alan: Oh really?

Doug: It's not easy.

Alan: Okay, well maybe we should tell that to Rain Man, because he practically bankrupted a casino, and he was a ri-tard.

Stu: A what?

Alan: He was a ri-tard.

Doug: [pauses to figure out what Alan was saying] *RE*tard.

More funny Hangover One Quotes

Alan:: Gambling? Who said anything about gambling? It's not gambling when you know you're gonna win. Counting cards is a foolproof system.

Stu: It's also illegal.

Alan: It's not illegal, it's frowned upon, like masturbating on an airplane.

Phil: I'm pretty sure that's illegal too.

Alan: Yeah, maybe after 9/11, where everybody got so sensitive. Thanks a lot, Bin Laden.

Sid: Remember, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Except for herpes. That sh*t'll come back with you

The Hangover T-shirts

Are you looking for The Hangover t-shirts from the two hit films? If so you can find a range of Alan and The Hangover themed t-shirts.

Zach Galifianakis The Hangover Part Two Quotes

Funny Hangover 2 Quotes from Zach Galifianakis

Zach (Alan) When a monkey nibbles on a weenis, it’s funny in any language

We’re the 3 best friends that anybody could have.

We’re the 3 best friends that anyone could have, we’re the 3 best friends that anyone can have and we’ll never never ever ever ever leave each other

We're meditating in a secret garden?

No he says his medication has him farting

Alan's Wedding Speech

Hey Everybody

Here’s some fun facts

The population of Thailand is 63 million people

It is twice the size of Wyoming

None of you know Stu like I do

I can’t even tell you what we’ve been through because we made pact

What I can tell you is this.

This is not Stu’s first marriage

There was a whore in Las Vegas a couple of years

What is your favorite Hangover Movie

Which Zach Galifianakis film do you prefer

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